By Jove, a new pirate joke

Discussion in 'Australia' started by Pickled Amnesiac, Jul 29, 2006.

  1. Big Willy

    Big Willy Gen. Italia

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    Love the kiwi accent bro :lol2
    SmittyBlackstone likes this.
  2. Big Willy

    Big Willy Gen. Italia

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    Sunshine Coast
    bit too upload_2019-11-16_18-58-29.jpeg for me

    You need [​IMG]
  3. Dave Ward

    Dave Ward Long timer

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    Dean Ohlin likes this.
  4. Dean Ohlin

    Dean Ohlin inner city elite Supporter

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    Gympie (Inner City)
    Certainly no offence intended. I quail at the very thought.
    SmittyBlackstone and Big Willy like this.
  5. Storm Shadow

    Storm Shadow Thread Ninja

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  6. Dave Ward

    Dave Ward Long timer

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    I've found a sure fire way to get a smoking hot body....


    I'm going to get cremated.....
  7. Dave Ward

    Dave Ward Long timer

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  8. Big Willy

    Big Willy Gen. Italia

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    A man got struck by lightning today.

    His wife told reporters he always wanted to be a conductor
  9. Dave Ward

    Dave Ward Long timer

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    Made me think of this
    image.jpg
  10. Nashcat

    Nashcat Waitin' on the Boatman

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  11. Toejamii

    Toejamii Still Learning

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    Brisbane
    IMG_0303.PNG
    Ducksbane, Blakduk, mrsdnf and 2 others like this.
  12. Precis

    Precis Maladroit malcontent

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    Location:
    Body's back home, but soul is in Central America
    A doctor and a lawyer are talking at a party. Their conversation is constantly interrupted by people describing their ailments and asking the doctor for free medical advice. After an hour of this, the exasperated doctor asks the lawyer, "What do you do to stop people from asking you for legal advice when you're out of the office?" "I give it to them," replies the lawyer, "and then I send them a bill." The doctor is shocked but agrees to give it a try. The next day, still feeling slightly guilty, the doctor prepares the bills. When he goes to place them in his mailbox, he finds a bill from the lawyer...
  13. Dave Ward

    Dave Ward Long timer

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  14. Precis

    Precis Maladroit malcontent

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    Body's back home, but soul is in Central America
    Lawyers never get bitten by sharks.
    Professional courtesy.
  15. tomrux

    tomrux Been here awhile

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    northside Briswegia
    What do you call 4 lawyers on the bottom of Sydney Harbour?



    A good start



    Cheers Tom R
  16. Wodger63

    Wodger63 Long timer

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  17. richo360

    richo360 Long timer

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    Whats the difference between a lawyer and hooker?
    After you're dead, the hooker stops screwing you.
  18. BergDonk

    BergDonk Old Enough to Know Better

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    Snowy Mountains Oz
    A Few Quotes

    "There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz SL500."
    Lynn Lavner

    "Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope."
    Camille Paglia

    "Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship."
    Sharon Stone

    "Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps."
    Tiger Woods

    "My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch."
    Jack Nicholson

    "Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet."
    Robin Williams

    "According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful."
    Robert De Niro

    "There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?"
    Dustin Hoffman

    "There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, 'I know what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked !"
    Jerry Seinfeld

    "See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time."
    Robin Williams

    "It's been so long since I've had sex, I've forgotten who ties up whom ."
    Joan Rivers

    Sex is one of the most wholesome, beautiful and natural experiences money can buy.
    Steve Martin

    You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman. Stuff you pay good money for later in life.
    Elmo Phillips

    "Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same."
    Oscar Wilde

    "It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married."
    George Burns
    Married Man, rvt, Johns-Bikes and 8 others like this.
  19. Chop Chop

    Chop Chop Long timer

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  20. Out6ack

    Out6ack Whale Rider

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    Lake Macquarie, Newcastle.