By Jove, a new pirate joke

Discussion in 'Australia' started by Pickled Amnesiac, Jul 29, 2006.

  1. bikeroz

    bikeroz Long timer

    Joined:
    Oct 18, 2012
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    2,133
    Location:
    Sydney Lower North Shore
    A man with a stutter died in prison...
    Before he could finish his sentence.
  2. sages

    sages Been here awhile

    Joined:
    Sep 23, 2008
    Oddometer:
    318
    Location:
    Perth, West Australia
    g g g g g roan
    SmittyBlackstone likes this.
  3. Storm Shadow

    Storm Shadow Thread Ninja

    Joined:
    Jan 9, 2011
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    Location:
    Arashikage Clan
    Me today:

    "It’s too hot"
    *opens window*
    in comes 20 flies,
    8 spiders,
    5 moths,
    2 dragons
    & 12 Jehovah’s witnesses...
    Ducatijim, OldDog and DOT like this.
  4. Storm Shadow

    Storm Shadow Thread Ninja

    Joined:
    Jan 9, 2011
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    Location:
    Arashikage Clan
    78494793_1487039661433919_538606671493070848_n.jpg
    Night_Wolf likes this.
  5. Storm Shadow

    Storm Shadow Thread Ninja

    Joined:
    Jan 9, 2011
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    Location:
    Arashikage Clan
    4 of my mates were calling me "cheap" & "tight arse" last night, so I bought them a beer.

    Turns out, they wanted 1 each..
  6. BygDaddee

    BygDaddee Where do I get a pie

    Joined:
    Oct 26, 2012
    Oddometer:
    8,884
    Location:
    Brisbane Northside, OZ
    For Christmas this year I’m giving everyone my opinion instead of presents

    get excited
  7. BygDaddee

    BygDaddee Where do I get a pie

    Joined:
    Oct 26, 2012
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    8,884
    Location:
    Brisbane Northside, OZ
    I just read the sad news about prince andrews car crash next month
    Kimi, QDogg, Ducksbane and 12 others like this.
  8. MultiDV8

    MultiDV8 Been here awhile

    Joined:
    Sep 13, 2013
    Oddometer:
    221
    Location:
    Brisbane Australia
    Nah, they've already used that one. but they'll have somethying else up their sleeve for sure.
    When he goes to the USA to testify maybe ?
  9. Out6ack

    Out6ack Whale Rider

    Joined:
    Dec 15, 2014
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    611
    Location:
    Lake Macquarie, Newcastle.
  10. goD giB

    goD giB Been here awhile

    Joined:
    Dec 2, 2016
    Oddometer:
    372
    Did they want a beer or a cheap and tight arse each?
    Asking for a friend ...
  11. Dave Ward

    Dave Ward Long timer

    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2007
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    5,931
    Location:
    King River, Western Australia
    A New York attorney representing a wealthy art collector called and asked to speak to his client.

    "Saul, I have some good news and I have some bad news."

    The art collector replied, "You know, I've had an awful day, Jack, so let's hear the good news first."

    The lawyer said, "Well, I met with your wife today, and she informed me that she has invested only $5,000 in two very nice pictures that she thinks will bring somewhere between $15 and $20 million... and I think she could be right"

    Saul replied enthusiastically, "Holy cow! Well done! My wife is a brilliant business woman, isn't she? You've just made my day.

    Now, I know I can handle the bad news. What is it?"

    The lawyer replied, "The pictures are of you and your secretary..."
  12. Rocking Horse

    Rocking Horse Self funded bludger

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    May 24, 2017
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    661
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    Somerset, Tasmania
  13. Bluetonguejak

    Bluetonguejak Pretend racer

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    Sep 16, 2009
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    Location:
    Gippsland
  14. Dave Ward

    Dave Ward Long timer

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    Aug 19, 2007
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    5,931
    Location:
    King River, Western Australia
    A little girl and a little boy were at day-care one day.

    The girl approached the boy and said, "Hey Billy, want to play house?"

    He said, "Sure! What do you want me to do?"

    Sally replied, "I want you to communicate your feelings."

    "Communicate my feelings?" said a bewildered Billy. "I have no idea what that means."

    The little girl nods and says, "Perfect. You can be the husband".
  15. Wodger63

    Wodger63 Long timer

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    Oct 30, 2011
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    3,153
    Location:
    Hervey Bay
    I'm posting this with a heavy heart...

    As much as I love my bikes, being out in the bush and going on awesome adventures, it is taking up too much of my time. I am struggling to keep up with the everyday basics of cleaning and cooking and maintaining my home, so something has to give.

    I will be getting rid of my collection.

    Below is a list of what's available.

    Serious inquiries only, and please don't insult me with low ball offers.

    Thanks for reading and understanding...

    1. Dustpan and broom

    2. Sponges

    3. Toilet spray

    4. Mop and bucket

    5. Window cleaner

    6. Vacuum

    7. Dishwashing liquid

    8. Laundry detergent

    9. Fabric softener

    10. Laundry baskets

    11. Toilet brush

    12. Cleaning sprays
    QDogg, twotyred, bikeymikey70 and 2 others like this.
  16. Gasman_ADV

    Gasman_ADV Long timer

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  17. sages

    sages Been here awhile

    Joined:
    Sep 23, 2008
    Oddometer:
    318
    Location:
    Perth, West Australia
  18. MultiDV8

    MultiDV8 Been here awhile

    Joined:
    Sep 13, 2013
    Oddometer:
    221
    Location:
    Brisbane Australia
  19. BOOTLACE

    BOOTLACE Bikie Scum. Supporter

    Joined:
    Dec 24, 2005
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    10,183
    Location:
    Methane Central..(Sth Gippsland)
    Incentive

    2AAAD71E-3FB5-442D-8965-3980A1D5321B.jpeg
    a2zworks and sages like this.
  20. Happy Snapper

    Happy Snapper GOMOB.

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    Feb 14, 2009
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    3,582
    Location:
    Brisbane, almost heaven!
    Has this one been on before?

    FB_IMG_1558247290772.jpg