Separate names with a comma.
Discussion in 'Australia' started by Pickled Amnesiac, Jul 29, 2006.
Stranded on a desert island in 2020
WHAT IS A GRANDPARENT?
Taken from papers written by a class of 8-year-olds. You'll love it:
Grandparents are a lady and a man who have no little children of their own. They like other peoples.'
Grandparents don't have to do anything except be there when we come to see them.
They are so old they shouldn't play hard or run. It is good if they drive us to the shops and give us money.
When they take us for walks, they slow down past things like pretty leaves and caterpillars.
They show us and talk to us about the colors of the flowers and also why we shouldn't step on 'cracks.'
They don't say, "Hurry up."
Usually, grandmothers are fat but not too fat to tie your shoes.
They wear glasses and funny underwear.
They have to answer questions like 'Why isn't God married?' and 'How come dogs chase cats?'
When they read to us, they don't skip. They don't mind if we ask for the same story over again.
Everybody should try to have a grandmother, especially if you don't have television because they are the only grownups who like to spend time with us.
They know we should have snack time before bedtime, and they say prayers with us and kiss us even when we've acted bad.
A 6-year-old was asked where his Grandma lived. "Oh," he said, "she lives at the airport, and when we want her, we just go and get her. Then when we're done having her visit, we take her back to the airport".
Grandpa is the smartest man on earth! He teaches me good things, but I don't get to see him enough to get as smart as him!
It's funny when they bend over; you hear gas leaks, and they blame their dog.
A ditty from early childhood..
Here comes the bride
Fair, fat and wide
Slipped on a banana skin
And went for a ride.
Instead of a swear jar, I have a negativity jar. Every time I have pessimistic thoughts, I put a dollar in.
It’s currently half empty.
I got sick of always trying the wrong key so I’ve colour coded them for the front and back door
Was gunna Like but that doesn't seem right...
I assume brown is for the rear entrance...
In my house the same key does both. Is there a term for that?
Someone who likes it both ways. Ambilocktrous? Unikey? Easy?
Navigationally challenged perhaps? BMW rider? Old bloke with the shakes?
Should be two pink keys, that'd be a shocker.....
The recipe said, “Set the oven at 180 degrees.”
I have no idea what to do, because now the oven door is facing the wall.
At first I thought this was acute joke, but I realized I was being obtuse and looking at it from the wrong angle. At least now I've got it straight.
A man has been hospitalised after X-rays revealed 6 toy horses in his rectum
His condition has been described as stable
My wife asked me if I’d give the kids a talk on drugs
I said ok but I talk a lot of shit when I’m high