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Discussion in 'Australia' started by Pickled Amnesiac, Jul 29, 2006.
My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned because I couldn't concentrate.
Then I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.
No better description.
Ha ha, that one about moving the tree.....
My ex got me to move a few times, as she wasnt happy with its location or some such crap.
After the second time, seeing the writing on the wall, i MAY have 'accidentally' chopped into the roots. A bit, or a lot.
Never had to move it again. It sort of died and fell over on its own, whereas I threw it on the burning off pile. hee hee. Good times.......
I'm looking for a new job. I started as a watchmaker, which was great because I made my own hours. Unfortunately, I didn't have the hands for it.
Then I tried being a grocer. But it only offered a meager celery and I came home every evening beet.
I tried to be a chef -- figured it would add a little spice too my life but I just didn't have the thyme.
I thought about joining the army. But my name is William and everyone kept yelling "Fire at Will!" Plus, they're only looking for recruits of high calibre.
Then I was offered a job as a cartoonist. But the entire industry seems a little sketchy.
For now, I'm working as a magician. But getting the tricks right is so frustrating; I'm pulling my hare out!
I'll let the claim that ravens (with two wings) have an uneven number of pinion feathers go through to the keeper but the funniest difference between ravens and crows in my opinion is their collective nouns.
Most people have heard of a murder of crows but not an unkindness, treachery or conspiracy of ravens.
I'm also reminded of the joke about the indian named Two Dogs. Two crows would be an attempted murder.
So one apartment building I lived in once had a female janitor chick,we got s.bit friendly over time and one day she asked me into her den to share a Billy I said no sorry, I'm not into high maintenance women!
Awesome, a dad joke goldmine
Or collective nouns.
Same could be applied to bikes.
Careful fellas, this could backfire if the same applied for shoes, and gifts for the grandchildren.
Edit: The horse has already bolted ...
Where do I apply?
You fancy some cow banging?