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By Jove, a new pirate joke

Discussion in 'Australia' started by Pickled Amnesiac, Jul 29, 2006.

  1. Wodger63

    Wodger63 Long timer

    Joined:
    Oct 30, 2011
    Oddometer:
    3,768
    Location:
    Hervey Bay
  2. Andrew2

    Andrew2 Long timer

    Joined:
    Aug 3, 2005
    Oddometer:
    8,235
    Location:
    Wollongong,N.S.W.
  3. Dave Ward

    Dave Ward I don't even know where the box is.

    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2007
    Oddometer:
    7,048
    Location:
    King River, Western Australia
    My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned because I couldn't concentrate.


    Then I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.
  4. Toejamii

    Toejamii Still Learning

    Joined:
    Jul 31, 2015
    Oddometer:
    699
    Location:
    Brisbane
    Another motorcycle
  5. nuke65

    nuke65 Adventurer

    Joined:
    Apr 7, 2019
    Oddometer:
    64
    Location:
    Georgia
    No better description.
    IMG_0868.jpeg
    SmittyBlackstone likes this.
  6. richo360

    richo360 Long timer

    Joined:
    Sep 5, 2011
    Oddometer:
    4,322
    Location:
    Melb Bayside
    Ha ha, that one about moving the tree.....
    My ex got me to move a few times, as she wasnt happy with its location or some such crap.
    After the second time, seeing the writing on the wall, i MAY have 'accidentally' chopped into the roots. A bit, or a lot.
    Never had to move it again. It sort of died and fell over on its own, whereas I threw it on the burning off pile. hee hee. Good times.......
  7. Wodger63

    Wodger63 Long timer

    Joined:
    Oct 30, 2011
    Oddometer:
    3,768
    Location:
    Hervey Bay
  8. Bluetonguejak

    Bluetonguejak Pretend racer

    Joined:
    Sep 16, 2009
    Oddometer:
    3,336
    Location:
    Gippsland
  9. Dave Ward

    Dave Ward I don't even know where the box is.

    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2007
    Oddometer:
    7,048
    Location:
    King River, Western Australia
    I'm looking for a new job. I started as a watchmaker, which was great because I made my own hours. Unfortunately, I didn't have the hands for it.

    Then I tried being a grocer. But it only offered a meager celery and I came home every evening beet.

    I tried to be a chef -- figured it would add a little spice too my life but I just didn't have the thyme.

    I thought about joining the army. But my name is William and everyone kept yelling "Fire at Will!" Plus, they're only looking for recruits of high calibre.

    Then I was offered a job as a cartoonist. But the entire industry seems a little sketchy.

    For now, I'm working as a magician. But getting the tricks right is so frustrating; I'm pulling my hare out!
  10. BergDonk

    BergDonk Old Enough to Know Better

    Joined:
    Nov 15, 2010
    Oddometer:
    14,076
    Location:
    Snowy Mountains Oz
  11. Ron50

    Ron50 Long timer

    Joined:
    Oct 12, 2008
    Oddometer:
    3,390
    Location:
    Canberra
    I'll let the claim that ravens (with two wings) have an uneven number of pinion feathers go through to the keeper but the funniest difference between ravens and crows in my opinion is their collective nouns.

    Most people have heard of a murder of crows but not an unkindness, treachery or conspiracy of ravens.

    I'm also reminded of the joke about the indian named Two Dogs. Two crows would be an attempted murder.
  12. sidetrack one

    sidetrack one Chief Tiddler Supporter

    Joined:
    Jul 2, 2006
    Oddometer:
    10,148
    Location:
    hole shaven area
    So one apartment building I lived in once had a female janitor chick,we got s.bit friendly over time and one day she asked me into her den to share a Billy I said no sorry, I'm not into high maintenance women!
    Boxa, OldDog, buckscreek and 2 others like this.
  13. TrojanThunder

    TrojanThunder Been here awhile

    Joined:
    Jan 23, 2014
    Oddometer:
    257
    Location:
    Trentham Victoria Australia
    Awesome, a dad joke goldmine
    SmittyBlackstone likes this.
  14. Ready set slow

    Ready set slow Been here awhile

    Joined:
    Jan 8, 2018
    Oddometer:
    193
    Location:
    Moree
  15. Ron50

    Ron50 Long timer

    Joined:
    Oct 12, 2008
    Oddometer:
    3,390
    Location:
    Canberra
  16. wi11iamson

    wi11iamson Been here awhile

    Joined:
    Apr 23, 2009
    Oddometer:
    494
    Careful fellas, this could backfire if the same applied for shoes, and gifts for the grandchildren.

    Edit: The horse has already bolted ...
  17. bikeymikey70

    bikeymikey70 Been here awhile Supporter

    Joined:
    Jul 23, 2018
    Oddometer:
    522
    Location:
    Temora, Australia
  18. Rocking Horse

    Rocking Horse Self funded bludger

    Joined:
    May 24, 2017
    Oddometer:
    886
    Location:
    Somerset, Tasmania
  19. bikeymikey70

    bikeymikey70 Been here awhile Supporter

    Joined:
    Jul 23, 2018
    Oddometer:
    522
    Location:
    Temora, Australia
    IMG_1836.jpg
    Where do I apply?
    Watercat, DeepBarney, DOT and 5 others like this.
  20. Dave Ward

    Dave Ward I don't even know where the box is.

    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2007
    Oddometer:
    7,048
    Location:
    King River, Western Australia
    You fancy some cow banging?
    DeepBarney and SmittyBlackstone like this.