I know this isn't the "scariest experiences with public toiletry" thread, but please bear with me on this: There's no way I could top this one. Nor would I even try. The worst I've experienced was when I went to get a wiring harness for something in an old car at a junkyard near Rossville Blvd in Chattanooga. Can't remember the place exactly but I remember for some reason I had to go to the bathroom. Like, nearly doubled over trying to hold it go to the bathroom, and there was a Citgo station nearby. "Restrooms around back" on big sign out front. I said I was going to use the restroom and my buddy just shook his head and said, "Nope. I'd hold it." Well, screw him, I gotta go. I hauled ass around back and found the restroom. Little separate building with the push-open door. Pitch black inside. I'm expecting the worst, so I take a deep breath and shove the door open with my foot, step inside and flick the light on as the door slams shut. Shit. Literally shit. EVERY SURFACE. The sink. The walls. The toilet. The (empty) paper towel dispenser. The sink handles. The faucet. OH HELL. The door handle. All over it too! WTF????? It was like someone had shit in a bucket in the bathroom for 6 weeks then dropped a grenade in the bucket and ran. I rinsed my hand off best I could at a water hose out back. I never got the puke out of my shirt though. Now, as for the negligee man. That reminds me of something my dad told me when I was young. We were going to see his cousins on Sand Mtn in Alabama, and I asked him why we didn't go down a certain road. He said, "Son, there's some woods you never go into without a pistol on you, and there's woods you never go into without the pistol already in your hand. That there....well, there's some woods you never go into without your finest lace panties on and prayin' they like what they see.