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Discussion in 'Ride Reports - Epic Rides' started by Joe Motocross, Apr 6, 2019.
Great. In from the start. I always enjoy your reports.
Me too, can't wait !
I deleted a post of mine that contained some questionable humor. It was a follow up on the Roost Disclaimer. It jokingly suggested that some guys were using a couple of "Roost Relief" Smooth Tranny Permission Pills in their wife's latte to help smooth things over when they announce they are going dirt biking. I thought the image of the fake advertisement might be a bit too "off color" for this site. If you're interested, send me a pm and I'll give you a copy of the image and you can let me know if it's too much. We all know at least one guy who's wife is always shutting down his riding.
WHEW!! OK, lots of stuff to cover here. First, the meat of this ride is very much still in the planning stages. It's been a long winter in the west with a constant barrage of low pressure "troughs" bringing a steady string of storms through. We continue to be in this pattern this Spring although we are getting short windows of high pressure between the storms. This is not the ideal weather pattern for a week or two week minimalist journey. My planning basically involves waiting for a good window of weather. I'm hoping to roll out early next week but we'll see how the weather shakes out.
This is non-fictional story telling about minimalist off road motorcycling done strictly for my own amusement and for a few of my friends and family who understand my humor. Perhaps you will find some amusement also.
My form of Adventure is the only true form of Adventure and all other forms will not be tolerated.
If I meet up with you out on the trail and find out you are carrying a chair, you are fair game.
This is not a guide for idiots to my favorite remote stashes so don’t even think about asking for GPS tracks or waypoints.
Don’t send me a private message like “Hey Joe Motocross, it looks like you’re having a really great time! Can I come ride with you and have a good time also? I’m an intermediate rider and my chair is already packed”. (You nitwits who already did this and that I’ve corresponded with are “grandfathered in”, so don’t sweat it, see you soon.)
Yes there are snakes and other critters out there. No, I’m not really too concerned about them, not as much as you seem to be.
Call me out anytime. Despite being the smartest person on the planet, I do learn things from you guys. You might have to yell at me a bit until I get it.
Now that we’ve covered the fine print, LET’S GET LOOSE!!
*Pulls up Helinox chair...
inflatable rocker recliner that packs the size of a beer can for me
Looks like your bike is a little too light...It's floating.
Wait is that a Giant Loop on that bike...?
So, like I said, it’s been a long winter. I’m just starting to think about dirt bikes. I love winter but I’m ready to be done with it. We had a short stretch of warm weather over the last few days and I got one of the usual suspects, Buuuuuurrrt, to come along for a little 3 day shake down. It’s a good thing because we’re a bit rusty as you’ll see from the comedy of errors. We took notes and will be ready for the longer journey next week.
Spring isn’t my favorite riding season because the high country is closed off by snow. I only have one dirt route from my house that gets me over the mountains right now so I trucked my bike over and staged out of a friends place. The first mistake I made was forgetting my steak in my freezer. It’s Sunday so there are no stores open in any of the small towns and I have to scavenge some hot dogs and tortillas from the gas station for tonight’s Adjustafork dinner. Buuuuuurrrt finds this quite amusing as he’s got a deluxe menu lined up. However, once we arrive at my buddies place where we’re going to depart from and I share with him my tragik story, he takes pity and chucks me a package of Elk steaks! Who’s laughing now Buuuuuurrrrrt?!?!
Buuuuuuurrrrt is on a 300 two-stroke for this. He’s claiming it’s the minimalist’s choice for adventure bikes; only half the strokes as normal adventure bikes. He slapped a Lectron carb on and he’s actually averaging slightly better gas mileage than my 500. Right around 42 to 45 mpg. As someone pointed out, he’s running a Giant Loop which is acceptable by minimalists but somewhat frowned upon. The bottom line is you can pack too much stuff in it. Buuuuuuurrrrt has good self control and didn’t cram the thing completely full.
There must be $300 worth of Voile straps on this thing.
Yeah, it helps to know the owner of Voile. He's a long time friend of mine. He appears in these ride reports from time to time.
The 18" Front tire or the fact that he is riding and your not?
So we roll out. We’re hitting routes that we already know so there’s really only so much “adventure” here. Like I said, it’s just a warm up for the big ride.
The route has PLENTY of action though with lots of washes, ledges to drop off and some single track sections.
We didn’t have any certain route in mind. Just wandering. We do know this country well.
Plenty of buttery two tracks to cover ground on.
It was great
OK, I'll post it again. Keep in mind this is a joke and anyone who actually uses date rape drugs is a looser. Plus, Roost Relief is only a similar formula. If it's too much please let me know and I'll remove it. If you know a friend that needs some, let me know and I’ll clue you in so you can purchase some.
Especially interested in the old Crow part....