Desert Minimalism: Springtime Adjustafork Odyssey

Discussion in 'Ride Reports - Epic Rides' started by Joe Motocross, Apr 6, 2019.

  1. Joe Motocross

    Joe Motocross Adjustafork.com - CEO

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    This is how we were greeted at the mountain bike camp. This dude came unglued on me when I rolled into “his” camp. He was pissed off because he said I “came through tearing his camp up”! Now, there’s always two sides of a story but I can assure you that rolling past him in first gear with a flat tire might not be considered “tearing up a camp” by most people. If he wanted to see what tearing up a camp was, I’ll fix my flat and show him. He was giving me a righteous lecture about “tread lightly”! He was yelling “look it up!”
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    I didn’t have to look it up. I just looked around the camp to see how people were treading lightly. I learned that rolling into a grass covered valley with hundreds of cars and trucks and people and tents and campers is treading lightly. Being the new and improved Joe Motocross, kinder, gentler, more understanding, I apologized for bumming him out. In his defense, later on he came over and also apologized and said he handled the situation wrong. Fair enough. We were buddies then.
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    We weren’t at camp long before it got dark and I thought I’d better get my tire fixed. This one turned out to be a Class 1, single, patch failure. The patch was gone! Not half way still stuck to the tube. Not split. GONE! Weird. This was a new one and I didn’t know what to make of it. It’s fairly rare for one of us to have a patch failure. I patched it again and let it sit for the night.
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    Then it was over to the fire for some BLAH BLAH BLAH. Drey Dog and I demonstrated the Adjustaforks by throwing on some burgers.
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    Burgers on the Adjustafork should only be attempted by experienced users. There is room for error when you flip them and it’s easy to knock them into the fire. Too much Crow also results in sandy burgers. We've found the most simple way is to just grab them with your gloves on and flip them. We pulled it off without dumping them in the sand this night.
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    We scavenged some cheese and condiments from the camp.
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    Next we heated a couple tortillas up.
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    BAM!! A little more Crow and lights out!
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    scudo, Tallbastid, Magus and 17 others like this.
  2. chudzikb

    chudzikb Long timer Supporter

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    I was wondering if you put the metal through the burger? Would result in much quicker cooking, but, then again, it might not work at all. Have you tried that way?
  3. Joe Motocross

    Joe Motocross Adjustafork.com - CEO

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    Yup, don't do it. Doesn't work. Pulls apart and falls off the fork.
  4. everready

    everready Stuck in Ohio....Ugh!!!

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    Tinfoil?
  5. Joe Motocross

    Joe Motocross Adjustafork.com - CEO

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    I suppose if you want. Just putting them on top of the fork works fine. You just need to pay a little more attention compared to spearing a steak.
    Shaggie likes this.
  6. Nick MN

    Nick MN Been here awhile

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    Sounds like there is consumer needs out there for a proper burger fork, the AdventureFork R&D dept. best capitalize on it! :lol3
    Joe Motocross likes this.
  7. everready

    everready Stuck in Ohio....Ugh!!!

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    I can see it now, a whole package of add-on accessories.... Order right now, only $39.99, operators are standing by.
    Joe Motocross likes this.
  8. Joe Motocross

    Joe Motocross Adjustafork.com - CEO

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    OK, you idiots aren't getting it. Keep it simple. This is basic ADV-F philosophy. No need for more trinkets. Burgers work great on the Zombie Stabber. Case closed.
  9. Ol Man

    Ol Man Long timer Supporter

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    Seems two Adjustaforks would keep them in check.....no matter how much Crow.
    ChicoProf, mntdawg and Joe Motocross like this.
  10. Scribe

    Scribe £Bob£

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    That's the flaw in this whole minimalist thing: not scalable.
  11. Nick MN

    Nick MN Been here awhile

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    If its not complicated enough or doesn't have a touchscreen consumers wont think its up with modern times!

    Might want to inform the AdeventureFork front office staffers that there might be a mob of peasants outside with AdventureFork's on fire to get what they want!
    Joe Motocross likes this.
  12. DCrider

    DCrider Live from THE Hill

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    I'm waiting for JM and his krof invention to show up on Shark Tank, could be entertaining.
  13. PNWet

    PNWet Been here awhile

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    A little basket that attaches to the outside tines to hold a couple burgers, small veggies, etc might be useful.

    Though I do think it's not necessary and the Fork itself is an excellent execution of a simple yet very useful device.
    Joe Motocross likes this.
  14. yamalama

    yamalama wet coaster

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    too much fork.
    not enough mountain bike women. : )
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  15. Zubb

    Zubb he went that-a-way...

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    Thats why I ordered 3. Two for 'captured' flipping, and one for my riding friend of the day who will instantly pay me any amount, reasonable or not for said multi-kitchen tool. When not 'flipping', I will use the 2nd spear for self defense from so called Tread Lightly Mountain bikers.
  16. Zubb

    Zubb he went that-a-way...

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    Everything scalable. Because . . . "china".
  17. Zubb

    Zubb he went that-a-way...

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    bring your own chicken wire.
    ... and, pics or it didn't happen.
  18. liv2day

    liv2day Life is all about how you handle plan B Supporter

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    Good on you for not losing your cool with that dip$hit @Joe Motocross, not sure I would have had the same restraint (especially knowing I was rolling on a flat and had to yank the tube again). I know there will always be complainers about X, Y, or Z, but the rampant increase in lack of civility of late...not a fan. I think that's why I like riding in remote SE Oregon - no people, and those I do encounter are typically very nice.

    Now that's facking funny.

    Burgers look awesome man, I think I'm going to have to give it a go the next time I have my set out for fire cookin'.

    Hopefully, the mtb crowd disappeared into your mirrors and you left any arsehats behind :-) :-)
  19. 2old2Bbold

    2old2Bbold was 2bold2getold

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    I'm holding out for the stealth 3.0 version of the not to be named Compact Accessory Tool for Cooking Race And Protection
    (CAT CRAP). The three prong, take down, titanium tubing model. :lol3
    Adanac rider, Zubb and FishHunt like this.
  20. Sliverpicker

    Sliverpicker Been here awhile

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