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Discussion in 'Australia' started by Big Willy, Aug 19, 2020.
I visited Dr Jabber once , he gave me acupuncture . True
Why? Whats wrong with AT?
not even I use my surname
Well I have been a temporary Doctor.. once for about 5 minutes. My late mate Dr Ken had a couple of old cars.. one of which was an old Valiant Regal.
So he buys a new Honda XR200 and I go with him to pick it up. We are in his Valiant and he has just driven out of his driveway and down the hill when a motorcycle cop stops us as he has not got his seat belt on.
Copper asks him if he has a medical reason for not wearing a seat belt.
Now Ken had a couple of prescription pads on the front seat. He picks one up, tells the copper he is a doctor and can write one straight away.. "What should I write?" he asks the copper. Cop says, "No, it must come from another Doctor!"
So Ken hands me the pad of scripts and says, "Hey Doc Taylor, write me a note for this policeman please."
Copper tells us both to get fucked and walks back to his bike and rides off.
A dentist i used to use was named Bill Hacket. This is going to hurt you more than its going to hurt me he used to say. Yep a dentist with a sence of humor.
Unfortunately had to visit a proctologist one day. He could see a slightly nervous look on my face and tried to reassure me, "don't worry, I've done this a thousand times",i said, "it's not you I'm worried about".
The doc who did my vasectomy was Dr Love. Seriously, Dr Christopher Love in Mentone.
Geez he had gentle hands too...... refused to give me a hug afterwards though.
Reminds me of the bloke who goes to have a prostate check up.
The doc explains... "A sometimes unwanted side effect of this procedure is an embarrassing erection"
'C'mon Doc, I'm not that way inclined, I prefer women"
"I wasn't talking about you" replies the doctor.
Couple of local doctors around here. Dr Tooth, was my gp for years. An Dr Death.... not that popular
"Where shall I put my trousers?"
"Over there next to mine"
At least his first name wasn't Richard
True story. My family Doctor who I have been seeing for years is Irish and is a funny bugger.
Anyway once I turned 50 I started getting a yearly checkup for everyhing including the prostate check ( finger up the bum ).
The first time he did the check I said to him " does this mean we are engaged" to which he responded " don't get smart with me or I will have to give you a second opinion" and I said "what's that" and he showed me 2 fingers.
Nearly shit myself from laughing so hard
There was a Dr Deathe who had a medical practice in Orange, NSW in the 1980's...
I always wondered as a kid, why they were called "practices"... I'd of thought you'd want a proficient doctor working on you...
And when you're waiting for over 1/2 an hour past your appointment time before you are called, you know why we are called patients
We have a local firm of solicitors called Vile & Vile
There used to be a Real Estate Agent in ACT whose name was Jim Shonk
When my brother opened his first business in Brisbane in 1959, it was called Max's Speedo Electric Service. Both instrument and auto electrical repairs. Eventually it became MAX Instruments with me as GM and a partner in the business. But.. in 1970 I started an apprenticeship with him as an auto sparky and learnt to do it all. Local mechanics would refer to the place as Max Speedo. One day this little old lady came in with her VW Beetle and a dead speedo. Local Caltex garage said to her to "Go see Max Speedo". Anyhow I pulled the thing out, repaired it etc and when she came to pick it up... Max served her. As she was leaving, she turned back around and said... "Isn't it funny your name is Max Speedo and you repair speedos? I must tell my grade 5 children about that tomorrow!"
Or to bring back the oldy but a goody, "look, no hands".