GEESE ARE ASSHOLES! Knocked off my bike by a goose.

Discussion in 'Face Plant' started by PAULIBIKER, Jul 7, 2019.

  1. PAULIBIKER

    PAULIBIKER Been here awhile

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    Came around a corner and got between it and it’s little ones. Took flight and went “kamikaze” right into me. Shoulder took most of the impact.
    Since the town I live in puts a pond on every block, the geese are out of control. Can’t even go for a walk.
    Have come to realize geese are bullies and need to be dealt with.
    What works?
    Air horn?
    Bear spray?
    Thanks
    #1
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  2. BillUA

    BillUA Las Vegas, NV

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    I find a 12 gauge works just fine.

    Seriously though glad you are ok. Some of those things can get rather large.
    #2
  3. viajero

    viajero Too old to be a nOOb

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    Geese are super abundant here in Boise, too.
    #3
  4. ennui

    ennui audio and oil

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    Geese are assholes. My dad had pet geese when I was a kid and all they ever did was chase me around the yard and bite me. I always wanted to karate chop the fuckers in the neck. I think it might be effective. If you ever want to get a karate-chop-geese-in-the-neck gang together, count me in.
    #4
  5. brgsprint

    brgsprint Long timer Supporter

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    My thought was a machete.
    #5
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  6. ennui

    ennui audio and oil

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    Effective, but not as satisfying...
    #6
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  7. CaptCapsize

    CaptCapsize Long timer

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    My mom had a couple of pet geese, mean obnoxious, but good watch dogs. When they would attack, which was frequently, I would grab them by the neck and spin them around to face the other way. The would continue the attack, but in the wrong direction. They are not too bright. The thing that was amazing was how strong their necks felt. I think a Karate chop would be totally ineffective. What really hurts is when they hit you with their wing. I swear it felt like getting hit with baseball bat.

    Personally I like the 12 gauge solution, followed with a good roasting paired with a good red wine.
    #7
  8. ennui

    ennui audio and oil

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    Why you raining on my parade, guy? ;)
    #8
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  9. CaptCapsize

    CaptCapsize Long timer

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    Sorry!!! Not my intent. I was just bashing geese. Besides 12 gauges are such fun to shoot.
    I have been lucky only one creature ever came close to taking me out...a Javalina. I missed the stupid little pig like thing by a couple feet at 65 mph.
    #9
  10. theDub

    theDub Adventurer

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    For real though; geese are assholes.
    #10
  11. neanderthal

    neanderthal globeriding wannabe

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    One killed a pet dog in Ireland recently. Stupid mutt jumped in a pond and headed straight for a flock of geese with their little uns. Goose took umbrage and headed straight for the dog and hit it repeatedly with its wings.
    Geese are not to be fucked with.
    #11
  12. Amphib

    Amphib A mind is like a parachute....

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    Years ago I had a kitten that got out of my apartment. It backed up to a lake that was overrun with Canada geese. 3 came charging for the kitten. I picked up a chair and holding it up like a lion tamer was able to rescue it. I then threw all of my patio furniture at the birds finally ending the encounter. Geese are assholes.
    #12
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  13. LewisNClark

    LewisNClark Long timer Supporter

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    Growing up we had beagles for rabbit hunting. One was a chicken killer. Not after he attacked a goose who tore off half of one of his ears. Never touched a chicken again...ran from them.
    #13
  14. PAULIBIKER

    PAULIBIKER Been here awhile

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    Thread title change....................
    #14
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  15. flei

    flei cycletherapist

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    I don't know, I kinda like geese....

    [​IMG]
    #15
  16. Patek

    Patek Been here awhile

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  17. sherpa7

    sherpa7 Adventurer

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    Geese are also getting out of control here in Denver with overpopulation. Their waste causes sanitary issues as well. Seems the city of Denver recently got rid of a bunch of them at night without telling the geese lovers. The city killed em and donated the meat to needy families. Many are up in arms over this which is not surprising here.
    #17
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  18. inbred

    inbred Sweeter than Yoo-hoo

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    Just last week a goose turned up dead in our town square. No one saw what happened but police suspect fowl play.
    #18
  19. pk1200

    pk1200 Adventurer

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    A few years ago at my local golf course, I veered off the fairway to check out a nest of goose eggs. As I approached the nest a large Mama goose came charging at me. But I was armed. I took out my driver and brandished the handle at the charging goose. She kept charging. I took a step backwards and tripped over my own feet and fell amongst a tangle of bag and clubs. At that point mama goose turned and went back to her nest, probably thinking to herself “this guy is no threat“. PK
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  20. brgsprint

    brgsprint Long timer Supporter

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    Nephew is greenskeeper for a country club where geese shit is a real problem. They pay a guy with a dog to chase them away. When the dog runs through the flock and they take off, the dog runs back to the truck. The guy watches which way the geese fly and drives to the golf course they are headed towards and gets paid to chase the same geese again. Rinse and repeat. The dog loves his job and keeps his owner in a nice truck.
    #20
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