GEESE ARE ASSHOLES! Knocked off my bike by a goose.

Discussion in 'Face Plant' started by PAULIBIKER, Jul 7, 2019.

  1. mrwiizrd

    mrwiizrd Adventurer

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    Yep, check this out: https://www.9news.com/article/news/...parks/73-22c73b17-705b-40f2-9b6a-be4d8c785029

    I almost rode down to the park just to watch these idiots wailing, but I decided it probably wouldn't be worth the effort.
    #21
  2. Drop_Center

    Drop_Center Long timer

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    God damn snowflakes.
    #22
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  3. kemorobbie

    kemorobbie Adventurer

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    You guys are freaking killing, Im in tears. sorry about your luck getting knocked off and glad your ok. On a real note you can buy a " Bird Banger" gun that shoots M80 basically, they come out and go about 25 yard and then BOOM. Farmers use them to chase geese off crops.
    https://gemplers.com/search?type=product&q=bird+banger
    Super fun. Also on a side note they will expolde under water, lots of fun when thy geese think they are safe sitting in the pond:rofl
    #23
  4. Actionable Mango

    Actionable Mango Been here awhile

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    Nuke the entire site from orbit--it's the only way to be sure.
    #24
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  5. foxtrapper

    foxtrapper Long timer

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    If you think geese are rough, tangle with a swan.
    #25
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  6. Vinz Klortho

    Vinz Klortho Square Peg Supporter

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    Ripley was a badass.
    #26
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  7. firemanonabike

    firemanonabike Been here awhile

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    There is thread about a Canadian who was knocked off his bike by a wild turkey. The turkey knocked the guy off the bike, the Canadian was knocked off the road, over the bluff and onto the beach. A real experience, he had to be carried up the bluff, his medical costs were horrendous and the bike was beat up also.
    #27
  8. 2old2Bbold

    2old2Bbold was 2bold2getold

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    Could be worse.... I had a friend that hit a turkey buzzard in south Texas. The last thing a turkey buzzard does before you hit him is puke all over you. :puke1

    Our golf course here in N. TX has Canadian geese now. They come thru here on there annual migrations but these guys stay year round now. They never leave. In the summer they hang out in the ponds and in the shade and our winters suit them fine. Soon they will be a problem. They don't bother anyone but they are multiplying like crazy.
    #28
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  9. fldfcnscsnss

    fldfcnscsnss Been here awhile

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    Geese may be my least favorite animal. They do seem to be overpopulated right now which makes me wonder what has changed within our ecosystem. New development driving out the wolves?

    I had a first, just yesterday. I swear I am not making this up. Coming around a corner, I thought I saw a head peaking over a field. I slowed down, thinking it was a deer. Then it reappeared.

    An ostrich. Seriously, a fucking ostrich. I stopped to take a picture, but it ducked back into the field.

    I am not making this shit up. Well I guess it could have been an LSD flashback, but otherwise yeah.
    #29
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  10. foxtrapper

    foxtrapper Long timer

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    More likely an Emu.
    #30
  11. cagiva549

    cagiva549 whats a cagiva

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    Son in laws Dad brought me some wild geese he had killed to cook at a bbq cookoff one time , I smoked one and deep fried one , the deep fried one was good the Smokey bird was dog food .

    Years ago when I worked in rice fields if a flock of geese was in somebody’s field we would meet at their barn and plane our attack , several shooters would go in one way and walk down a canal under cover , the rest of use would come in from the road side and spread out and walk the field pushing the geese toward the canal . When they were close the shooters would all stand up and open fire , hired help would gather up the birds and clean them and everybody had freash goose for dinner . I kinda enjoyed hunting like that and all the help had a good feed , I didn’t really care for them so mine were given to somebody that wanted them . I’m sure somebody would dislike our method but I thought it was fine . Always something cooking while the activity’s were going on and plenty of beer and the cards usally came out later in the day .
    #31
  12. BigBaltic

    BigBaltic Adventurer

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    Did you brine the goose before smoking? brining poultry before smoking is essential.
    #32
  13. fldfcnscsnss

    fldfcnscsnss Been here awhile

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    It could have been.

    Someone in that general area had a bunch of ostriches at one time. A couple got loose a few years ago.
    #33
  14. foxtrapper

    foxtrapper Long timer

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    Really? That’s unusual. Cool!
    #34
  15. MrPulldown

    MrPulldown Long timer

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    Fuck those flying shit tards. They don't migrate anymore and simple live whereever they can get year round food. My dog would chase them (80 lb pit mix). I never let my dog chase wild life, but fuck geese. Do your worse Fido. And the shit they they leave everywhere...
    I think it should be declared open season on geese. Within city limits you have to get them without a firearm or other projectile; machete. The few times I have eaten goose, I recall it being an excellent meat.
    #35
  16. fullmetalscooter

    fullmetalscooter Let me take this duck off

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    Have come to realize geese are bullies ? As to why They re Canadian Geese but come on it might be bully but at least it 's apologetic for it . Glad your ok. :jack:jack
    • :dirtdog
    • :grim
    #36
  17. CopaMundial

    CopaMundial Wow, that broke easy

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    Totally agree with the premise that geese make me want to carry around a samurai sword a-la walking dead.
    In the 70’s/80’s in southeast PA we would get massive migratory flocks every fall and spring, but they did not nest here so they were cool to see as temporary passers by.
    Total numbers it seems there are a lot less now, but there are a lot more non-migrating birds that stay year round and it’s the nesting birds that get territorial and aggressive.

    My made up and in no way researched theory was that increased development along the East Coast eliminated the small farms that they would use to feed during migration. But hearing similar stories of broken migratory patterns from other parts of the country makes me think that is one of several theories I had which are completely bullshit.
    #37
  18. PathLessTraveled

    PathLessTraveled Red Rover Champion (ret)

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    Yeah, I agree, geese are assholes. I took revenge on them one early morning but It nearly back fired on me. I pulled into a huge parking lot where construction was partly finished building a huge strip mall. At the far end of it they had already completed a ¼ mile sort of loop around road without any landscaping or buildings there yet. It was blocked by orange barrels but since it was Sunday and no one was around and I’m going that way, hey, who is it going to hurt? I blast down the perfectly pristine road but as I make the turn I see a dozen or more Canadian geese sunning themselves and completely blocking the road. Screw you guys, I’m not slowing or turning, MOVE! I mashed the horn button and let lose my 139db Stebel air horn to make clear I was coming through. The startled geese tried to take flight as quickly as possible and just like a hot air balloon that needs to gain altitude quickly, they decided to jettison ballast. As I saw what was happening, it was as if when I screamed “SHIT!” they took it as a command. Somehow I managed to avoid being hit. It still makes me giggle.:lol3
    #38
  19. PNWet

    PNWet Been here awhile

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    Potato gun?
    #39
  20. soyanarchisto

    soyanarchisto Long timer Supporter

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    I was stationed at a Patriot Missile site in Germany from 86-88 and the department of defense used our facility as a test site for using geese as guard dogs. I went from an airborne infantry soldier to a farmer tending geese. Thankfully it was short-lived as the stupid geese all froze to death over the course of the winter. I hated those fucking things. Chipping their feet free from the ice because they would get frozen in place.

    Good times.
    #40