In my mind I've certainly changed a few details but if I could sum up the things I actually said, and that I actually heard- first, I'll start with one photo: The cop in the drivers seat is holding a motorola razor. He was on the phone with his corrups cronies. The cop in the passenger seat was yelling at me, in spanish, "That's prohibited! Your camera is Intimidation!" I had been riding the speed limit and obeying every rule. At a roundabout these two saw me and signaled for me to stop. I knew I hadn't done anything wrong and that they only wanted to steal $200. There had been a bus in front of me- one of the big new overland buses. In the roundabout I could see the driver. He saw the cops motion for me to stop. I'm pretty sure he thought he was supposed to stop. Instead of stopping, he gassed it. Holy shit those buses can haul. In no time we were doing 90. My old 1100GS has a hard time doing 90 at sea level for very long. But we went for it. The bus was trying to get away. I was trying to go with the bus. Way behind us I could see the cops gaining on us. I kept thinking, fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckI'mfucked. I had no idea those old landcruisers could go so fast. Somebody- Guido? later pointed out that they are cop-landcruisers with a top end over 130 or something insane. When they finally caught me, I knew, from the old german's warning, that they would demand a fine in $US. If they said anything about real laws, then they were legit. If they started out in $US, then they were just bandits with badges. I knew my only defense would be how I documented the facts. I stopped my bike. I powered up my SAT phone. I grabbed my camera. I started taking photos- of the license plates, of the cops, of cars going by. The cop in the drivers seat yelled that he would arrest me. I walked back to my bike and called someone. I can't remember who- my daughter? An old girlfriend? Nobody answered. With someone I left my GPS coordinates and the license of the cops who had stopped me. I don't know what took the cops so long to get out of their landcruiser. Eventually we got into an argument about cops-as-bandits. We all did a lot of swearing. Eventually I got my mother on the phone. She kept saying, "Pay them." My mother called my sister, who called the US Embassy in Peru. The US Embassy told my sister to tell me not to pay them. I told the cops that I was on the phone with the US Embassy, and that the Ambassador was an old family friend, and that if they didn't let me go immediately, he would talk to the President of Peru, who would have every cop in the area fired. The cops asked my about my ipod. Pretty soon, we were talking about ipods, and it was like if the money thing had never happened. I can't remember how many times I was stopped in that stretch- maybe 4? 5? It's somewhere in the ride report. (Fake Journalism at its finest.) By the last stop, I was in a yelling, screaming argument with the cops. My mother and sister were on the phone with me and the embassy. I was very, very angry. My story, which was the truth: I was photographing and documenting my journey and my story was being read by tens of thousands of fans all over the world. (More "fake" journalism.) If I followed the advice of a few idiots, I'd have paid US$200 to several different bandits-with-badges, for a total cost of about US$1000. Although the Peru cops were the worst, Barb and I were stopped several times in Central America. All the stops were bullshit. I talked our way out of all of them. Using the "Fake Journalism" idea helped us get through a bunch of borders (but not the El Salvador/Honduras border). If I saw a modern computer with internet access, I had the border guys log on to advrider! I showed them the ride report, took a picture of them, and told them that I'd try to get them onto the internet! I kept my promise with the corrupt Peru cops. Hey Ken- you'll be fine. I bet that by the time you get to Lima, every cop from Cartegena to Ushuaia will have heard of you and will want to buy you a beer. Somebody remind me to get cards printed with some reference to my "fake journalism." I'm a regular consumer of popular mass media, and I've never, ever been exposed to anything specific about corrupt Latin America cops. Corruption isn't all bad. If not for a corrupt Colombia immigration officer, I wouldn't have been able to get my US passport stamped, and I wouldn't have been able to get into Ecuador. Jebus, Ken- look what you started. Next summer you're going to give a presentation on "Provacative Subjects."