Life after death: my first solo trip

Discussion in 'Ride Reports - Epic Rides' started by Candiya, Sep 23, 2013.

  1. DrydenRider

    DrydenRider Sun Seeker

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    Ha great card with pictures from special moments. Merry Christmas back to you. Hoping you are seeing the colors in your present and future.
  2. Blader54

    Blader54 Long timer

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    Merry Christmas, Candiya! Thanks for the card, and thanks for sharing your ride with us. Wishing you an excellent 2014.
  3. 1955BIKER

    1955BIKER Adventurer

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    Thanks for the great report and the card. Merry Christmas to everyone!!!
  4. huguesfrederic

    huguesfrederic HF

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    Thank you and a super Holiday to you to, full of smiles and love.
  5. grahamspc

    grahamspc Smitty

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    Good job on the card...enjoyed your trip...best wishes for new year...any trips planned???
  6. phongeer

    phongeer n00b

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    Good lawd, you're a writer!
    Great ride report, keep them coming.
  7. kitesurfer

    kitesurfer Long timer

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    Thanks for the card! You picked good pics for it.
  8. advNZer?

    advNZer? Long timer

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    just reread this RR.I cant put into words how inspiring it is to read it.
  9. Candiya

    Candiya Been here awhile

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    I thought I'd give you a little update on life since my ride. In the fall, there were a couple of really good months, where I felt better that at any point since losing Mike. An overall sense of well-being suffused me. I was full of energy, both physically and emotionally - ready to start new projects and the like. It was a wonderful interlude.

    That positive period lasted until Thanksgiving, when the holidays knocked me on my rear. Mike's birthday on December 16th was a particularly low point. It just felt like a crushing sense of loneliness was sitting on me this month. I backslid into some of my bad habits, where I had difficulty focusing and being productive at work. Random fits of weepiness would sweep over me. One particularly awkward one was in the dentist's chair, WHILE the hygienist was working on me! It's funny to think of it now. The grief started to release its stranglehold on Christmas, and I'm on my way back up now. It's definitely a journey, and sometimes I just need to ride it out.

    On the adventure front, I have two in the works now. The first is that I booked a trip to Mexico in January. I'll be spending a week in Barra de Navidad, where I'll get to do my first riding in another country. (Eeek!)

    The second is a different kind of adventure. I've been writing a lot this year, and I've decided to pull it all together and release it as an e-book. (An eeek! of a different kind.) I don't have any history as a writer - didn't start writing until after the accident. I just needed a place to put everything that was inside - so it didn't eat me from the inside out. Writing was a wonderful outlet. It's a collection of essays about life since the accident.

    You all have been instrumental in making this decision. If my ride was helpful to people, maybe the pre and post story would be too. My goal is to have it ready by mid-February, around the 1.5 year mark since the accident. I'm not going to stress too much about meeting that deadline, but it's good to have a goal to shoot for.

    So...that's the latest on my end. I hope you all have been doing well, and I wish you all a wonderful and SAFE New Year's Eve. May 2014 be a good year for all of us!

    Candiya
  10. Klay

    Klay dreaming adventurer Supporter

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    I'll read your book. Thank you for the heartfelt story you've already presented. It's appreciated.
  11. Louis Wambsganss

    Louis Wambsganss Been here awhile

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    I'm not a writer either, but you have a superb writing style. And also impeccable spelling, grammar, and punctuation. It is very easy to read, comprehend, and empathize with.

    Good luck with your book and all other ventures. Let us know when it is available.
  12. just jeff

    just jeff Long timer

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    Hi Candiya!
    I as well feel down emotionally at these times. I think part of it is the shortened days and cold weather in the winter months. I look forward to spring with longer days and warmer weather. Two years ago I took a trip to Cancun and sat on the beach. It was wonderful doing the Tourist thing and getting away from the cold for a while. I wish I had thought of renting a bike while I was down there! Go and have some fun in the Sun and blow those winter doldrums away!!!:clap:freaky

    Best Regards....just jeff

    P.S. I would love to read your book when it is available. Will it be released on Kobo or Amazon?
  13. KeithTurk

    KeithTurk Been here awhile

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    I enjoyed the report, especially the integrity... I'm sure much of that was a repeat emotionally...

    You and Mark need to do a ride together and write about it...
  14. geolpilot

    geolpilot Been here awhile

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    Book is a great idea. Your writing is wonderful!

    Sent from my SCH-I535 using Tapatalk
  15. tkitna

    tkitna "Jim Jordan 2024"

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    Great ride report. Thank you for sharing.
  16. StevenF

    StevenF Adventurer

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    Hi Candiya, hope you had a lovely Christmas and New Year! I spend a few days reading through the entirety of your ride report and I am so glad I did. I thoroughly enjoyed every moment of it. I am so sorry for your loss and can't even begin to comprehend what you have been through and how hard it must be to "move on" (I hate those words).

    Thank for your sharing your ride report and look forward to reading your next one!
  17. ruffntuff

    ruffntuff TUFRDR

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    It is amazing how healing motorcycles really are. I too made a similar journey a couple summers ago now, hard to believe. I'm still working on my ride report. Ha!

    My brother was killed on his motorcycle by a drunk driver. My journey was also inspired by "Ghost Rider." A friend gave it to me after he died. And since then I have also read "Wild" and was comforted to read about how another person like myself could manage living through the horrors we all eventually experience in life.

    For me, it's adventure. Traveling, seeing the world, meeting new people, challenging myself, exhausting myself, and feeling love. Loss and grief put me in a place where I didn't want to live anymore. Learning to love again has been hard. But motorcycles sure helped me come out of it.

    The pain hasn't really gone away, people always say it gets easier with time. I don't think that it's easier, I just know how to live with it now so it doesn't consume me. I still have those random moments too when I fall apart, actually I broke down in the dentist chair too just a few months after Dan died. But those moments are fewer and far between I guess. Sometimes just the right song will come on at just the right time and I smile when it used to make me cry.

    Thank you for your story. I'm always proud to hear of others journeys, especially one so special like this.

    Hope you are well. Be kind to yourself.

    Anna
  18. bbanker

    bbanker Been here awhile Supporter

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    I would read both of your books, both of your stories have been inspirational.:freaky
  19. Uke

    Uke visualist Super Supporter

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    It's called coping. . . . and living.

    Something both Candiya and Anna have shown many here how it is done, and done well!

    Spock: Live long and prosper.
  20. Candiya

    Candiya Been here awhile

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    Anna, thank you so much. Your ride report was recommended to me by one of the readers of this thread, and I found it very inspiring. (And very well written.)

    Everything that you wrote about adventuring resonated with me. Motorcycles have been a vehicle of healing for me as well.

    Overall, I think that things are getting easier for me. The general trend is upward. But there are still moments or periods of time where it's difficult. Thanks for letting me know I'm not the only one who's cried in the dentist chair!

    I hope you are healing too. Thank you again for reaching out.