No Win Situations

Discussion in 'Australia' started by grumpyoldbstrd, Jul 11, 2018.

  1. grumpyoldbstrd

    grumpyoldbstrd Been here awhile

    Joined:
    Sep 16, 2007
    Oddometer:
    592
    Location:
    Melbourne, Australia
    You’ve just rebuilt an engine, installed it, and started it up. Feeling very pleased with yourself, you put all the tools away, and clean up the bench. Only to find that you’ve got one gudgeon circlip left over.

    You’ve drained the oil, filled up the sump, and forgot to reinstall the drain plug. Come on - we’ve all done that at least once.

    You’ve come into a corner and realised that it’s over cooked, and you’re gonna run out of road.

    You’ve hit a sandy creek crossing and realised that you’re in the wrong gear, and get totally out of shape.

    Almost as bad as the... “OK Dear, what have I done wrong this time?” Answer – “If you don’t know, I’m not going to tell you.”

    Any other "No Wins" out there?
    #1
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  2. slowbike smallpenis

    slowbike smallpenis Tester of Tooheys Old

    Joined:
    Mar 9, 2003
    Oddometer:
    21,778
    Location:
    Just above Tasmania
    Marriage
    #2
  3. Rider 101

    Rider 101 Time poor

    Joined:
    Feb 8, 2012
    Oddometer:
    2,853
    Location:
    Avoiding the coal holes Upper Hunter NSW
    Divorce, AVOs, Family Law.................
    #3
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  4. Sfcootz

    Sfcootz Proud to be a 0.6106142755%er Super Moderator

    Joined:
    Jun 21, 2013
    Oddometer:
    15,741
    Location:
    San Francisco
    :stupid

    I traded marriage for motorcycling. :bubba
    #4
  5. fayeslane

    fayeslane Rankest of amateurs

    Joined:
    Oct 16, 2009
    Oddometer:
    3,762
    Location:
    Albury, NSW
    You research a bike to the point of brain death. Decide it is the one. Buy it with confidence and a coupla months later discover that you don't like it. Sell it for a considerable loss to the bloke who has researched this bike to the point of brain death...……………………………………………….:lol3

    AKA - the used bike market.
    #5
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  6. LivingdeadCamo

    LivingdeadCamo Long timer

    Joined:
    Feb 6, 2016
    Oddometer:
    1,157
    Location:
    Woongarrah, NSW, Australia.
    My job... It's like threatening to take the Casino for every penny when you only have a pocket full of shrapnel and one drink.
    #6
    Eeerrriiiccc likes this.
  7. Dave Ward

    Dave Ward Long timer

    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2007
    Oddometer:
    4,646
    Location:
    King River, Western Australia
    "Honey, does this dress make me look fat?"
    #7
    grumpyoldbstrd, OldDog and DeLewis like this.
  8. Not the Messiah

    Not the Messiah Old enough to know better, but slow learnin'

    Joined:
    Jan 19, 2013
    Oddometer:
    944
    Location:
    Melb'n, 'Straya
    Doing a bunch of around-the-home jobs before you bugger off on a ride. You know you had to do them anyway, and you probably would have sooner or later but you know there'll always be a couple more "Oh, didn't you do the.....?" as you're strapping the luggage on the bike. Arrrgh.

    And slightly off topic:
    A mate worked in a Subaru workshop and had watched a colleague very carefully assemble a hot WRX engine for the bosses favourite customer. So as the engine is being slotted back into the car, he's slipped one big end bolt - one that's only used in those engines - onto the guys workbench. Then waited for the job-finished-tidy-up-my-bench! After watching the doubt grow on his mate and letting him stew to the point of ripping the engine out again, he's wandered over with the other 7 bolts and casually said "Havn't seen one of these have you, I've lost one..."

    Cheers
    Brian
    #8
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  9. Paul124ac

    Paul124ac Long timer

    Joined:
    Apr 28, 2015
    Oddometer:
    1,669
    Location:
    NE Vic
    Having a great time flogging ya KX500 around some local dunes, head back the next Saturday and hit the first big one with gusto only to discover it’s been blowing like a bastard all week and the backside of the dune is no longer there....
    #9
  10. sidetrack one

    sidetrack one Chief Tiddler

    Joined:
    Jul 2, 2006
    Oddometer:
    8,564
    Location:
    hole shaven area
    You got the better half of the deal !!!!!
    #10
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  11. ECKS-Man

    ECKS-Man Long timer

    Joined:
    Jan 7, 2009
    Oddometer:
    1,118
    Location:
    Central West NSW Australia
    As a surveyor, my (least) favourite is to place pegs, let's say 8 of them, then get to the end and discover an error. Start checking back through the placed pegs, to find the error was in the setup and you have to do the whole damn thing again! While it has been a long time since I've had to do that, you only have to do it once to learn!
    #11
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  12. Portly

    Portly Plodder

    Joined:
    May 25, 2011
    Oddometer:
    547
    Location:
    North coast NSW Aus
    I saw a mate go off the back side of a dune on an xt500, needless to say it didn't end well.
    #12
  13. PeterW

    PeterW Long timer

    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2005
    Oddometer:
    3,851
    Location:
    Gold Coast
    Being chased by an RD350, I was on a TS-185 but it was an unsealed section of road so almost fair. Overcooked a corner and went off a cliff - something like a 100' drop to the sea-washed rocks below.





    Fortunately the road construction crew had cut into the cliff just there to give them somewhere to part the equipment, I cleared the dozer by inches and back onto the road still ahead of the RD.

    And despite rumors all that went through my mind then was OH FUCK !!!!!
    #13
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  14. Uncle Crumpet

    Uncle Crumpet Been here awhile

    Joined:
    Jun 6, 2010
    Oddometer:
    995
    Location:
    Eidsvold, QLD
    I was once on the staff doing offsets for a supervisor I didn't like and put the staff on the toe of my steel cap randomly for the entire day for shits and giggles!
    #14
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  15. ECKS-Man

    ECKS-Man Long timer

    Joined:
    Jan 7, 2009
    Oddometer:
    1,118
    Location:
    Central West NSW Australia
    Another good one when using a tape is to hold the end 100mm past the point you are trying to measure! Of course, now with laser measurers that has disappeared for the most part.
    #15
  16. troy safari carpente

    troy safari carpente #501 Team f5oolery

    Joined:
    Nov 21, 2005
    Oddometer:
    30,752
    Location:
    "Swednavia" - f5ederation of scandwegia
    win/win situation:

    Getting busted by the wife washing bike engine parts (cases, gear sets, selector forks, clutch basket etc.) in the kitchen dishwasher... getting busted by same doing a load of airfilters in the front load washer...

    Had to fork out for a new dishwasher, washing machine (and dryer)... but the garage was outfitted with a new filter washer (do the real grubby cross gear in there too) and a parts washer... :D
    #16
  17. hoorang

    hoorang Rather be riding than working

    Joined:
    Feb 16, 2015
    Oddometer:
    908
    Location:
    Curlewis NSW
    Preheating engine cases in the oven and the missus comes home early...

    Even though I had used baking paper under said cases I think I would have been in less strife if I had the girl next door in bed :dunno
    #17
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  18. clintnz

    clintnz Trans-Global Chook Chaser

    Joined:
    May 17, 2004
    Oddometer:
    4,575
    Location:
    Rotoiti, North Is, New Zealand
    Got that covered. The oven in my old place had cooked up a few sets of cases :D Rosie always commented on how good it was at roasting & baking so it followed us when we bought a place & moved in together. Mind you the last cases in it were out of her bike anyway...
    #18
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  19. Slowpoak

    Slowpoak Riding the buck-shot

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2011
    Oddometer:
    781
    Location:
    SW Victoria, Australia
    Helped a mate out once with a fork re-build on his DR650, dampner rods drilled out & cleaned, racetech goldvalves installed with heavier springs, fluid levels & seals done, beer flowing ALL afternoon :photog.

    Now, here lay the problem :deal, beer :beer. After going for a quick ride around the paddock, my mate is happy with the plushness of his new rebuilt forks BUT there is fluid leaking pass the boots :hmmmmm, then its pointed out whilst beer in hand that there are 2 fork seals sitting on the work bench :stupid .

    Strip forks down, install internal wiper seals & have more beer :rofl.
    #19
  20. Wodger63

    Wodger63 Long timer

    Joined:
    Oct 30, 2011
    Oddometer:
    2,628
    Location:
    Hervey Bay
    Back in the 90's a mate and I built a very special XR 600 engine.
    Well the big day had come, engine was installed, fresh oil, fresh fuel, everything ready for it's first start.
    Well I kicked and kicked that sunofabitch and it never looked liked it was going to start, just a fuel smell and wet plug.
    It was only when I pulled the carby off to give it the once over for the second time that I found the shop rag that I had stuffed in the inlet boot while the engine was on the bench.
    #20
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