Three years ago, I went unicorn hunting. I was a long time crazyguy addict that was slowly coming around to the realization that long distance bicycle touring was just not in the cards. Then I stumbled onto this site. "Wait, I can do the same thing and not suffer immensely? Yes??" Off to the internets I went. Hours and hours of questing yielded this, a Rally-Raided out CB500X. I took some classes, re-learned how to ride, went on some small adventures and had a blast. Then I went to Italy. That was an expensive trip. My girlfriend discovered the joys of Italian leather purses. I had a pizza and thought "Oh, THAT'S what this is supposed to taste like". I bought a pizza oven and learned to make Neopolitan-ish pies. YUM! More importantly, I got stung by a wasp. My heart went all aflutter afterwards. I started shopping for a Vespa. I found a Vespa. I bought the Vespa. I rode the Vespa every day. I L O V E D the Vespa! I stopped riding the Adventure Bike [tm]. I couldn't stop grinning all day long. I wore nothing but Vespa t-shirts. I became 'that guy'. It was glorious!! For a long time, life was good. I didn't have much money (see Item 1: Purses) but it didn't matter. It cost $4 to fill the tank and I could make pizzas whenever I wanted. What more does a guy really need? Time passed. One day I stumbled upon a thread about the Scooter Cannonball. "How delightful!", I thought, "They are riding their scooters, going on an adventure and undergoing moderate discomfort in the process. Sounds like fun. Where do I sign up?". Many, many, many internets followed and a plan emerged. I would sell my beloved Vespa to fund a ride in the next Cannonball. The budget would be whatever I sold the bike for and it would have to cover all expenses -- a scooter, parts, lodging, travel, food, gadgets, etc. I would then save my pennies and buy a yellow one afterwards so my life could continue to have meaning. This is a fairly ambitious undertaking given that I have problems finishing, well, pretty much everything. Could I really pull this off? Buy a junky bike, fix it up and ride across the country without killing myself or getting stranded out in the middle of nowhere? On a budget? It's going to be a challenge... Oh yeah, Challenge Accepted. This thread will document my journey. What does it have to do with Ponies? You'll just have to wait to find out.