People doing stuff on your bike

Discussion in 'The Perfect Line and Other Riding Myths' started by Andyvh1959, Jul 16, 2013.

  1. Andyvh1959

    Andyvh1959 Cheesehead Klompen Supporter

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    Da frozen tundra eh? 1.5 mile west of Lambeau
    I'm never a dick kind of guy, especially to a law officer. My parents also taught me to respect others, persons and their property. But after a reply like reported here by the officer, I may have been bold enough to walk to their squad car, hop in, flip on any switches to see what happened. It would get the point across of the "natural attraction" of being in a police car (not in the back seat), but also to see if they considered that no crime was committed in doing so.

    People are just stupid rude. My 1st house was one house away from a nice little liquor store on a kinda busy street. More than a few times Id find shit on my yard (threw it back in their car), or I'd find my driveway blocked because the asshat didn't move 20' further to be past my drive. It had a gravel apron at the time. Once I'm riding up the street on my CB750 and a car is blocking the driveway with a guy sitting in the passenger seat, window open. I wiggled the bike around the car got on the gravel and nailed the throttle in 1st gear peppering the car and him with gravel and dust. Got off the bike and walked to the car, window going up. Car owner comes out as I'm standing there, helmet on yet, and drives off. Other times I'm going to call the cops (WAY before cell phones), and the car drove off.

    Another similar time, older big car blocking my driveway. I walk out to the car, window open, I reach in and pop the hood release, had the hood open ready to yank the main wire to the distributor and then call the cops. Car owner walks out saying "what the hell you doing?" I glared at him, slammed the hood down and walked away saying "your timing got lucky for you". I'm 5'-6", now about 200 lbs and good bit more muscle than back then at 145 lbs, but a Rottweiler attitude at times.

    Bar on the corner from my 1st house, next to the liquor store (really was a decent neighborhood), had a dickhead fat-ass bartender. 2am on weeknights he'd put the front tire of his Suzuki GT550 against the bar wall and do shrieking burnouts revving the throttle. I'd call the bar, said "Hey, please, I gotta get up at 5am for work, just please knock it off." Minutes later, louder repeat with the bike. My call again, "listen F-head, once more and you're gonna find a 12ga shotgun slug right into the gas tank, carbs and block!" More shrieking ensued. I called the cops and filed a complaint, as did many other neighbors it turns out. THAT cost him a lot more than my shotgun would have. Still woulda been fun to do it.
    #61
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  2. baldman1

    baldman1 Long timer

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    I'm with you, You don't see me getting in their fucking car so stay off my bike and don't touch my shit.
    #62
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  3. CaptCapsize

    CaptCapsize Long timer

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    I only had one guy ask if he could ride my bike. While stopped in a remote small NM mountain town, this guy staggered up carrying a bottle in a paper bag. He slurred, "I used to ride a Harley, can I ride your bike?" I was on a little KLX250. Then he offered me a hit off his bottle. I declined the drink saying, I shouldn't ride after drinking. I said to him, "You shouldn't ride since you have been drinking". He replied, yeah you are probably right, and staggered off.
    More funny than offensive.
    #63
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  4. Jim Moore

    Jim Moore "You ain't black!"

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    I've come to the conclusion that the only people I would let ride my bike are the people who know better than to ask.
    #64
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  5. Barry

    Barry Just Beastly

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    I don't have problems letting friends ride my bikes... I am over that. They are tools and insured. However, assholes I don't know, they can fuck off.
    #65
  6. roaddog12

    roaddog12 Wait,what? Supporter

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    Back in the the late seventy's i was parked at a beach north of San Francisco with my helmet locked to the little helmet holder thing under the seat on my R90S and when i cam back after a few hours i find some ass hat pissed in it ! and it was a 2 month old Arai if i could have caught them i would have given them a helmet enema. cut the straps off and threw it in the trash, rode back to Sac without a helmet.
    Since then, if it's not locked in the trunk bag it's with me and I'm like the other people on this thread it is a personal item i i don't let anybody wear it
    had a guy at a restaurant get all pissy because i wouldn't let him put it on for a picture but when i asked if it would be OK to grab his wife's ass to get a picture he just walked away quietly. I don't fuck with other people or their property and i expect the same in return.
    However, having said all that whenever a little kid wants to sit on it and ask, i pick them up and put hem on it
    #66
  7. doc moses

    doc moses fearlessly flatulent

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    east central Ohio
    Once I parked next to two outlaw types (patch jacket types) at an McD. I came back out, they were still there. Guy says what's up. I said something like "this is the first time in two weeks I could park somewhere, go inside, and not worry about anyone messing with the bike. " They both had a big laugh.
    #67
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  8. stoke

    stoke ocean minded

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    Ancient thread resurrect, ha ha.

    Regarding the helmet on the bike, I've heard of one case of a helmet locked to the bike being shit in. Literally shit in.

    I never leave anything on the bike, ever.
    #68
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  9. bomose

    bomose Long timer

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    Well, now I'll never leave my helmet strapped on the side of my bike. At least not in California.:photog
    #69
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  10. Andyvh1959

    Andyvh1959 Cheesehead Klompen Supporter

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    Da frozen tundra eh? 1.5 mile west of Lambeau
    So far, since 1975, here in Wisconsin I've never had anyone mess with my helmet when I've left it on my bike. Some times I've stashed the helmet on the space over the handlebar clamp area, open side down, and no issues. Usually if I leave my helmet on the bike it is bottom down, and often I run the chin strap through something to hold it upright on the bike. But then I've been lucky, not time to consider that will continue.

    I recall once at Road America like in the late 80's I'm walking to my bike and a guy I don't know walks up to ask "have you seen anyone walking around with an Arai Kenny Roberts (something like that)". Nope I say. He says something like "that was my new $600 helmet and someone walked off with it!" From that day on I decided I'd never spend so much on a helmet. Its there to protect my brain, not make a statement. Gotta add this. Didn't mean to sound like I'm calling out the guy to be whatever cause he had a $600 helmet. If I had a helmet like that I'd be more worried about it than my brain. Those tribute helmets are knockout cool.
    #70
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  11. CA-Cincinnatus

    CA-Cincinnatus Semi-retired GI-Bill student, husband, GSD-host Supporter

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    I had my helmet locked to my bike in Virginia and my GF's on the backrest. We went into the mall for 15 minutes, came out, hers was gone. She wore mine on the way home. F*k thieves.
    #71
  12. Nataraj85

    Nataraj85 Adventurer

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    Nov 14, 2011
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    So it is better not to mess with you relating the subject "motorcycle" ... ;-))
    #72
  13. 4PawsHacienda

    4PawsHacienda Long timer

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    Never ever use the handy dandy locking helmet holder seat latch combo, just the right height to be pissed in.
    #73
  14. Mooochy

    Mooochy Still Lost

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    Long Story. And very odd this got brought up. About 20 years ago, I came home from a ride on my 73 Triumph. We all know, no heat shields on the pipes. Park in my driveway ( 100 foot long) Go in the back yard to cut my grass. Next thing I know, a lady is yelling at me to give me shit how her 6 year old son burnt his leg on my bike. Of course she came in the yard to let me know. She said he just wanted to play with it, and how irresponsible it was for me to leave a hot bike parked where children could get burned, tears and all. I tried to explain the boy should not have been on my property. Fell on deaf ears. Well here is odd part. I just got my mail, their was an unposted letter from someone, and it reads. So sorry Mr. Moochy to have came on your property years ago and without authority to touch your property. I was wrong, but very young. My Mother was wrong for blaming you. I still have the the burn mark on my leg, but now I ride, and show this this mark to all my buds. I say to them, hurt like hell, but this was my first venture into riding. All thanks to you for being understanding, and caring. I would like to visit you, and maybe ride with you when covid is over.
    Kind of blew me away, after all these years.
    #74
  15. Tall Man

    Tall Man Speak as you find.

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    You owe us a follow-up here, @Mooochy ,if you and the kid do share a ride. :thumbup
    #75
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  16. Mooochy

    Mooochy Still Lost

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    For sure. I just found that so awesome, wish he could of talked to me in person. But at this time, guess not happening.
    #76
  17. XRCA

    XRCA Been here awhile

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    San Diego
    Mooochy, I am also interested in the followup. I wonder how the conversation went with his mom after all those years. Interesting how it can fall on deaf ears, but that being said, when I get home from my commutes and whatnot, my daughters are super excited to come and see me, but I always make them wait and not come toward the bike (the way the door is for them to come out of, they'd encounter the exhaust pipe before me).

    Also, I've never heard of people pissing/shitting in another's helmet, but it makes me glad that I always retain room in my top case for it. That's just insane.
    #77
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  18. MotoChaos

    MotoChaos Mildly Grouchy

    Joined:
    Jan 19, 2016
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    Location:
    Yorba Linda, CA
    Normally I fill my tank closer to home, but I stopped at a station near the local university. A student and his girl in a bro-dozer 4x4 is filling up the tank. I come out of the mini-mart after purchasing a bottle of water and the bro-dozer guy and his girl are looking at my bike. It happens, a shiny 1200GS blah blah blah.

    At first, questions. Didn't know BMW made motorcycles. How fast, blah blah blah.

    "Can I ride it? I've been around bikes all of my life... Just around the parking lot."

    The answer is no. You cannot ride my bike, period. End of discussion.

    Apparently this makes me an "asshole". Guilty as charged, now fuck off.

    At this point in my life, I've just given up on most other humans because there are too many people who just don't understand common courtesy.
    #78
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  19. -=SER=-

    -=SER=- All year round

    Joined:
    Sep 30, 2009
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    Location:
    Utrecht
    Two incidents pop up in my mind, both at work as moto-leo.

    Came out of a house after assisting paramedics, usual crowd gathered to gawk at the pretty blue lights or whatever attracts them.
    Dealt with a o.d. victim in front of his two <8year kids, so my adrenaline is up and my faith in humanity low.
    One guy had actually taken seat on my F700GS-P, smirking at me, i remained calm at first, asked him to get off the bike so i could continue my shift.
    Guy beams at me and says he's got five minutes left because his taxes paid for the bike, huge laugh from the crowd.
    I ask him if he truly want's his money's worth out of his taxes, which he confirms.
    So i whip out my expandable baton with some gusto, and offer the guy to molest him with it and finish up, for good laughs with a couple of 9mm. rounds from my service-piece for which he must have paid too. Made a couple steps forward as i spoke, getting him in perfect striking distance.
    Almost dove off the bike, fell on his knee skinning it, scampered off under ridicule from his peers......

    Second guy that posted himself on my bike, R1250RT-P this time, sees me coming out of a service-station and acts up, screaming like sirens or something that was supposed to sound like it. Appertly, pump next to mine, he's passenger in a station loaded with guys going to a match, walked over as i paid for my gas and arsed about on my bike.
    Not sure if my baton twirling would work again i ponder for a second on how to get him lost and preferably humiliated. The perfect opportunity arose, car swerves gently round the bike and parks at the pump in front of it, guy starts shouting "this is the police, pull over, come out with your hands up"..... so, i walk over, grab his arm, yank him off the bike and arrested him for impersonating a police officer.....

    Both of my responses worked, still in doubt over which one provided the most personal satisfaction.
    #79
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  20. mitchapalooza

    mitchapalooza Rider is Air-cooled Supporter

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    Sep 1, 2010
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    Castle Rock, CO
    I thought I lost my mind having parked my ZX6r in an outdoor public lot for a work dinner. I was first there, so I was first to park. Turns out the guy I was meeting identified my bike, and spun it around so it faced out.

    That was a real head-scratcher when I came out...
    #80