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Probably the worst damn ride report of all time.....

Discussion in 'Ride Reports - Epic Rides' started by TurnerR, Jun 17, 2016.

  1. Dessert Storm

    Dessert Storm Dances With Drunks

    Joined:
    Jun 2, 2005
    Oddometer:
    1,096
    Location:
    On the cut
    Heck yes.
    #21
    TurnerR likes this.
  2. Achtung

    Achtung Wicked Pisssah Adventurer Supporter

    Joined:
    Nov 1, 2002
    Oddometer:
    2,871
    Location:
    Waltham MA
    Ride safe.
    #22
    TurnerR likes this.
  3. DeaDSpacE

    DeaDSpacE Adventurer

    Joined:
    Apr 16, 2016
    Oddometer:
    64
    Location:
    Oklahoma
    Dude why is this not posted on the Cantina?
    #23
    TurnerR likes this.
  4. Eggz

    Eggz n00b

    Joined:
    Jun 18, 2016
    Oddometer:
    3
    Location:
    Alabama
    you can really tell that you are not from the deep south, you seem like everything you see down here feels like another world, that's how I was at first when I moved down from the Chicago area of Illinois about ten years ago, it was amazing to see and experience deep southern culture, stay safe and enjoy the rest of your trip brother
    #24
    TurnerR likes this.
  5. Eggz

    Eggz n00b

    Joined:
    Jun 18, 2016
    Oddometer:
    3
    Location:
    Alabama
    CHEERS... surge.jpg
    #25
    TurnerR likes this.
  6. Gyro1

    Gyro1 n00b

    Joined:
    Jun 17, 2016
    Oddometer:
    5
    Location:
    Tennessee
    This is way better then watching TV!! You have me hooked. Stay safe my friend.
    #26
    FJ Fun, TurnerR and Eggz like this.
  7. Eggz

    Eggz n00b

    Joined:
    Jun 18, 2016
    Oddometer:
    3
    Location:
    Alabama
    he's got me wanting to do the reverse and ride north to Canada now
    #27
    TurnerR likes this.
  8. TurnerR

    TurnerR Ride motorcycles, have fun

    Joined:
    Jul 31, 2008
    Oddometer:
    399
    Location:
    Cleveland, TN
    After leaving Rison AR I grabbed a chicken biscuit and ebony coffee at Mikey D's then continued down 79 as quietly as I could. I mentioned I'm from the Bible Belt, so I have a lot of respect for the church. I may be on a Harley but that doesn't mean I have to ride WFO in 2nd and 3rd gear. I was enjoying a beautiful morning. Soon I turned off onto 98 west. Grabbed some fuel and some dude stopped me for 30 minutes talking paint. He wanted me to paint his Shadow, and while flattered I'm not a pro painter nor have the time. Soon I was in Texarkana. I didn't see a single Trans Am until I got across the line. Didn't even have the Thunder Chicken...

    Rode 67 into Naples TX where I got some more fuel, talked to some locals for a while. They informed me that 67 is terrible and the interstate is much smoother. Really wasn't wanting to ride the super slab but turned north at Mount Pleasant when I saw more of the Golden Arches. 20 nuggets and a nap later I called my buddy Ian who I wanted to see in Dallas. He wasn't expecting me so soon, and flew up north to see his little girl for Father's Day. He tried to get one of his workers to let me into his Condo to stay the night, but couldn't get ahold of him. Honestly it was early and I had barely seen any of Texas. Instead I headed back north to Paris TX. Excellent route up 271 North. Whoever designed that town is a genius. It had a great loop around the town that made navigating super easy. Probably the most effecient town I've ever been in. Grabbed another gallon of fuel and West again.

    Highway 82 West is awesome. Actually all these Texas roads are great. 70-75mph two lanes. It's such a trip seeing people running 75-80 then turning in their driveway. My road is 30mph... Lucky bastards... The rolling hills were nice. A semi played cat and mouse for probably 20 miles. I'd pull away on the uphill grades and he'd catch back up on the downhills. Eventually I waved him by, I wanted to slow down. I got behind a fella pulling a ski boat for maybe 15 miles. Water poured out of the drain plug the whole damn time. It felt amazing misting my face and arms, but I wondered if he had sunk the damn thing.

    [​IMG]

    I didn't take but 2 pictures and only one turned out... I just had a great day of riding. I don't trust gps but this is exactly the route I took. I could have saved a ton of time instead of dropping low, just heading straight to Paris from Texarkana but it was a great day so who cares. I camped about About 5 miles north of Rison where I started this morning so give or take about 330 miles of some nice riding!

    [​IMG]

    I think there is an RV park a couple miles from "Taco Casa" where I'm having some dinner. I'll probably stay there tonight if they will let lowly tent campers grace their presence. Anywho I'm getting sleepy. Hopefully I can camp or I'll figure something else out. Thanks for following me along guys! Later
    #28
    Mofrid, MadRusski, Plebeian and 10 others like this.
  9. Gyro1

    Gyro1 n00b

    Joined:
    Jun 17, 2016
    Oddometer:
    5
    Location:
    Tennessee
    Ride forest ride!!
    #29
    FJ Fun, TurnerR and 1911garand like this.
  10. Harps_n_chops

    Harps_n_chops n00b

    Joined:
    Jun 18, 2016
    Oddometer:
    2
    Location:
    The Great Smokey Mountains
    You had better bring some M&M's to the Bash Mister:-) Keep that watchful eye out bro, and I'm diggin' on the reports!
    #30
    TurnerR likes this.
  11. PapaDontPreach

    PapaDontPreach Been here awhile

    Joined:
    May 5, 2016
    Oddometer:
    109
    Location:
    Wandering the bootheel, New Mexico
    I'm in! This is one of those RR that just makes me smile. Ride your ride!
    #31
    FJ Fun and TurnerR like this.
  12. digcolnagos

    digcolnagos Bewildered

    Joined:
    May 18, 2016
    Oddometer:
    160
    Location:
    Illinois
    What is the over-under on when he'll buy a one-gallon gas jug to get through the long hauls once he gets out West? I'll wager he doesn't get out of the Lone Star State before we see start seeing a red plastic jerry can strapped to the sissy bar. If he can do it without, he can probably also ride that Sportster across large bodies of water without benefit of bridge.
    #32
    MadRusski, FJ Fun, kojack06 and 3 others like this.
  13. XTWalt

    XTWalt Been here awhile

    Joined:
    Aug 24, 2007
    Oddometer:
    254
    Location:
    Roanoke, VA
    "The river was kind of lame. I expected more. I know how my girlfriend feels now...."

    This one is bound to be a classic.
    #33
    Mofrid, MadRusski, Scoozi and 5 others like this.
  14. TurnerR

    TurnerR Ride motorcycles, have fun

    Joined:
    Jul 31, 2008
    Oddometer:
    399
    Location:
    Cleveland, TN
    Shortly after writing last night I wanted a beer so headed across the street to pick up a 40. I was denied.... I couldn't believe I was in a dry county... So I headed north to find the campground at the TX/OK line. The river separated the states and the campground was right on the water. It was super nice, I must admit. I rolled in after dark and set up quickly in an RV spot. Used the power pole to charge the iPhone up, and layed my sleeping bag down first, then the pad on top of that. I was warm for a bit but it got nice and cool around midnight. Chilly enough that I crawled I did my bag. It was an excellent nights sleep.

    [​IMG]

    This morning I woke about 6:30 and planned to use the shower house. I meant to borrow a towel from the first hotel I stayed and must not have packed it, then realized I left my shampoo and body wash in that room. Shit... I may get a room tonight to get a good shower. Brushed my teeth and packed everything up. Just as soon as I pulled my phone off the charger a dodge pulled up staring pretty hard. Out pops this older pot belly fella with his shirt unbuttoned, heading my way. He stares me up and down and asks if I plan to stay here, I said no I'm leaving. He asked if I stayed last night and I told him yes I did. He informed me he booked that spot for the whole week. I apologized, and said, "No one was here I didn't know it was taken." Then he walked over to my bike and said, "This is a pretty cool machine even though it's a sportster.... At least it's not a fuckin K model!" He was rocking an HD hat so I figured maybe I could smooth over poaching his spot. Told me he reserved it for his son who bailed last minute. Said the owners are real assholes and if they give me trouble they can call him. He had no idea why he even went to check out the spot at 7am, he said he was bored and thought he needed too. Maybe the Lords of Loud were hooking me up... He only lived half mile from the camp. We talked bikes a bit and he said come by my shop, I'll show you my chopper. I debated for a minute but thought it was too much of a coincidence that he showed up, I agreed.

    At his shop he told me in 1962 (if I remember) Texas had changed the law where you can no longer have a pillion pad the passenger seat must be connected to the drivers seat. He said he was the first person to make a king and queen seat in Texas and admitted mine was way better. He laughed and said he was an idiot back then and thought wood would last. Later he was put into magazines that were pretty radical until another one came out called Easyriders. He said he was only in that one once, but several times in CHOPPER magazine through the 70's. His last publication was early 90's and I saw many of these mags as proof. He sold all the nice bikes, kept his 98 springer softail, and has a 2016 ultra classic. Then Hercules which he uses to decorate for July 4th.

    [​IMG]

    It's a goofy contraption built from spare tractor parts mostly, an international motor powers it forwards and reverse. Even built the side hack from tractor noses. You could tell he was just bored. We talked bikes and I may even come back to buy some bikes and parts. Had a nice shovelhead that had been hard tailed using panhead axle plates. It was done well. Had another shovel that had been next to another bike that caught fire. Very saveable and a title. If I had a pickup I would have been going back to Tennessee. We talked a while more and he told me all of his cross country Trips when he was a member of the Gypsy Jokers. Told me of a run into California where they ended up at a party in an apartment owned by a guy named Sonny Barger. Pulled out some old photos of those two, and both of their Shovels parked next to each other. I spent a lot of the morning hanging with him, then headed out again. Rode 100 miles straight to Witchita Falls and still have some fuel left!! 1.7 gallons out of the 2.1it holds got me 98 miles.

    Only a few pics and still don't know why they are so damn wavy....

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]
    #34
  15. digcolnagos

    digcolnagos Bewildered

    Joined:
    May 18, 2016
    Oddometer:
    160
    Location:
    Illinois
    Running into someone who partied with Sonny Barger is a good omen.
    #35
  16. v4play

    v4play Throttlephile

    Joined:
    Apr 9, 2013
    Oddometer:
    248
    Location:
    Traverse City, Michigan
    Nice bike.
    Shit roads must really mean something when you're piloting a hard tail!
    Safe journey!
    #36
    TurnerR likes this.
  17. EastRoad

    EastRoad Road Viking Supporter

    Joined:
    May 10, 2014
    Oddometer:
    2,072
    Location:
    Switzerland
    Turner,

    your bike really is not my kind of ride ;)...
    Maybe I've moved past torturing my back with a hard tail bike and a tiny fuel tank and only awkward options for luggage mounting ...

    BUT: Your ride report so far rocks... looks like you're having a jolly good time and thanks for sharing the RR, enjoying it so far.
    keep on riding - keep on posting.
    #37
    FJ Fun, kojack06, Dan Diego and 3 others like this.
  18. digcolnagos

    digcolnagos Bewildered

    Joined:
    May 18, 2016
    Oddometer:
    160
    Location:
    Illinois
    Indeed. That's the beauty of it, I think. I read these reports from folks riding across country and to Alaska and points beyond on bikes I would think twice about before riding across town and think "I'm not worthy."

    I think the wavy photos are a sign. Notice how they are wavy only when he's on the bike? Off the bike, clear as crystal. He is on some sort of magical mystery tour, where the brown acid turns pure whilst in motion. There is no other explanation. Live long and prosper--those dire warnings about what might happen are only fiction, figments of imagination, perhaps a bit of under-done potato nesting ill in your gullet and going to your head. Keep moving and you will be beyond harm. If nothing else, The Bandit is on your side.
    #38
    Faol, Jim K. and TurnerR like this.
  19. Bultaco206

    Bultaco206 Back-to-back motos suck Supporter

    Joined:
    Feb 11, 2007
    Oddometer:
    52,349
    Location:
    Mineral Point, WI
    +1

    No $25k techno-marvel Euro bike, no mega-expensive riding gear good for 3 atmospheres, and no overdone Touratech catalog residue. It's a guy on a bike with some stuff on the back.

    It's perfect. I love it. Wish there was more of it in here.
    #39
  20. WeazyBuddha

    WeazyBuddha Carbon-Based Humanoid Supporter

    Joined:
    Mar 18, 2008
    Oddometer:
    8,485
    Location:
    RGV Texas
    :eek7 ... from wiki page (LINK):

    The Gypsy Joker Motorcycle Club (GJMC), or the Gypsy Jokers as they are called in Australia, are a "one-percenter" motorcycle gang and organized crime syndicate that was originally formed in San Francisco, California on April Fool's Day, 1956. They are one of the most notorious and violent motorcycle gangs in both the US and in Australia

    Prominently featured in Hunter Thompson's book Hell's Angels: The Strange and Terrible Saga of the Outlaw Motorcycle Gangs, they were the second most powerful outlaw motorcycle club in California until they were forced out of the San Francisco Bay Area by the Hells Angels. They relocated to Oregon and Washington in 1967, taking up temporary residence in Lincoln City, Oregon. The club has since spread to Australia, Germany, Norway and South Africa.
    #40