Probably the worst damn ride report of all time.....

Discussion in 'Ride Reports - Epic Rides' started by TurnerR, Jun 17, 2016.

  1. TurnerR

    TurnerR Ride motorcycles, have fun

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    That bottom one! This is the one gyro1 had. I hope to find one as I pass through the Mojave

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    #81
  2. OldPete

    OldPete Be aware Supporter

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    These are what Canvas Specialty offers new w/o red lettering. The minimum order of 2 for $104 makes two of the Desert Storm bags look attractive at 2 for $17.90.
    Canvas Specialty Tents, Fabric Structures, Canopies and Awnings

    Believe me, I understand the attraction.
    #82
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  3. TurnerR

    TurnerR Ride motorcycles, have fun

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    Currently I'm sitting at a bar in the Hoover Dam casino. My buddy Casey is running a side security job tonight in Vegas and will be off in a couple of hours. I hope to FINALLY get a decent steak. I've lost so much weight already it's comical.

    Today was the first day I got a little sassy. The heat was messing with me bad. From Kingsman to Boulder City was only 70 miles but it was brutal. This was definitely the hottest weather I've ever rode in. I normally love small talk with folks. Some guy from Georgia asked about the bike and when I told him it was the little 883 he scoffed. That normally doesn't bother me but what came next really made my insides giggle. He told me how he'd just bought a 2016 street glide, and it would be cool to do my trip it just wasn't possible on his bike. Let that sink in, because I had to. So I genuinely asked, why can't you tour on your touring bike? Dead serious he says because he doesn't have anything to lean back on like I do..... Bless him.

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    I know this isn't the place for a lot of Harley enthusiasts, but the nay-Sayers will enjoy this. For the first time ever I've had to add a little oil to it!! No leaks though. ;) This heat, it just used a little. I put half a quart in and that was probably too much. This should keep it nice and cool tomorrow.

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    I also checked out the dam. What a fiasco.... I was completely burning up upon entering. I pulled up to the security guards where they decide whether they check you or not and the guard to my left waves me through. The one on the right sees my knife, and bags and points behind him. So now I have conflicting instructions. I immediately pull off which was the wrong idea. The one you pointed to pull off tells me to keep going. I stop and say I can't hear. Keep in mind I have a bubble shield covering my face and ear plugs in. He puts his hand on his pistol and says to keep going. So that is completely opposite of what you want to do when someone with authority hovers over his weapon. I shout hey man I can't hear I don't know what I'm suppose to do! Now both guys are actually yelling back to keep moving so I do, idling forward. I felt like I looked super suspicious. I have no clue after that why they wouldn't search me. I have no idea why that one got so angry, and I don't know why he told me to pull off then keep going. Im still confused... I was shaken but the Hoover Dam police watched my idle on by.

    Next I saw the sign for $10 parking. I was thinking shit, I thought this was free.... So I pull in and I see a sign for motorcycles but it's roped off. So I wait in line with the cars and when it's my turn to pay she says are you parking here? I said "Yes, where do I park?" She fires back with "Ooooo I don't know maybe in the motorcycle parking area like the sign says...." Now I'm floored. Why are you being a bitch to me? So I fire back with "Well that was the plan till some lazy fuck didn't open it up, it's kinda hard to ride through your roped off section." She got pretty red pretty quick. I'm 99% sure that was her job because she left her stand to open the area up. She was nice after that and I was too. Little did I know all I had to do was drive across the dam for free parking... Poop....

    The Dam itself was very impressive. It's hard to imagine constructing it. In fact I can't believe it was built back then. I think it would be near impossible with current technology. Those old timers were damn impressive. I also ate one of their burgers. It wasn't worth a dam...

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    Highway 93 was beautiful. I just wish I could have enjoyed it more. The heat messed with me today. I will drink more water tomorrow. This is the first time I haven't drank much. I'm pretty sure my buddy Alec may meet me in Montana next week. I'm sure the story will get fun if he's involved. If you go to any swap meets on the east coast you've probably been insulted by him. He introduced me to RTWdoug at Daytona this spring. I was super quiet and star struck.

    *Im going to rant for a moment. Maybe it's the heat making me bitchy, or maybe I miss my woman, but let me tell you about kids. I've passed thousands of cars and vice versa this trip. When I was a kid, I'd break my neck to see bikes, hot rods, planes, trains. These young boys don't even care. It's so strange. What's even stranger than that is the little girls that do stare. There will be some 6 year old girl in her Frozen t-shirt smiling and waving like crazy. I thought the millennial generation that I'm apart of was horrible, but dang these young boys just don't care about bikes or cars or anything manly. Maybe in 15 or 20 years we are going to have a generation of badass women. We are in trouble if these boys don't put down the video games and iPads....

    Later guys
    #83
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  4. MrAndMrsZINC

    MrAndMrsZINC Snappin' necks and cashin' checks

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    Bravo, son! This is some good stuff.
    #84
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  5. PaulyD

    PaulyD Been here awhile

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    this ride report is awesome! Safe travels!
    #85
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  6. Gyro1

    Gyro1 n00b

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    these pictures along with your adventure is freakin awesome man!! and only you can pull off them purple ladies wrapped around your eyeballs!!! Ride on son!! Ride on!!
    #86
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  7. kdxdude

    kdxdude Adventurer

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    Loving reading these reports!! Looks like you are having an awesome trip!!! Be safe, Have fun!! Love, Dad
    #87
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  8. Project Mayhem

    Project Mayhem Moto Aficionado Supporter

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    I've found that the Lucas stabilizer stuff helps my old Shovelhead get down the road a bit more smoothly...a touch in the motor and a good dose in the tranny.
    Ride on adventurer, ride on!
    #88
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  9. FTL900

    FTL900 White and nerdy

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    Be careful while you're in Southern Navada... it's a pretty hot month of June so far. We mostly ride in the morning and late evenings. Once it's over 98 degrees outside, wind chill works against you and heats your body up, the cooling effect of speed is lost.

    My fav Boulder City place is the Boulder Dam Brewing Company, in booming downtown Boulder City. They got some good Dam beer.

    Good ride, good read!
    #89
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  10. JT105

    JT105 Let's Ride!

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    Ha Ha - Can't tour on a touring bike! Gotta love that one! I went thousands of miles on a Suzuki GS500. The sleeping bag on the back seat was awesome for a backrest and the bar bolted across the frame made killer highway foot pegs. Looked like two-wheeled Beverly Hillbillies but had a blast on my trips!

    Loving your story. Ride On!!
    #90
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  11. shuswap1

    shuswap1 Long timer

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    Methinks that elk at the Grand Canyon saw you and your high handlebars as direct competition for the affection of his 'ladies'

    Great report, nice perspective, love the glasses, can't imagine riding a hardtail 2 blocks, never mind that far!

    Safe journey!
    #91
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  12. Davidjohnson

    Davidjohnson Been here awhile

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    haha. It would have been wild if the bull would have charged and locked horns with the handlebars. I think that's what Turner was thinking might happen
    #92
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  13. tonyjuliano

    tonyjuliano Grumpy Santa

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    That Lucas Oil Stabil works wonders for air-cooled motors - and a half quart ain't too much.

    As for the kids, if you ere dressed like a character out of a video game they would have noticed.
    #93
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  14. Scribe

    Scribe £Bob£

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    My ass and wrists hurt just reading this, but I'm old. Great story, ride on.
    #94
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  15. FTL900

    FTL900 White and nerdy

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    The Hoover Dam guards don't search anybody. They're only there to wave you through their checkpoint.

    Seriously, I'm sure they have some parameter or level that engages the search, but I've never ever seen them do anything except wave. I believe their main concern is a vehicle large enough to carry enough explosives that it would damage the dam, which would be difficult to do if it were set off on top of the dam, with it being open in every direction except straight down.

    Did you see the WWII army machine gun bunker across on the Arizona side? it's up on the hill and you have to look for it, but it's there.

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    #95
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  16. digcolnagos

    digcolnagos Bewildered

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    Old school helmet. Purple bubble face shield. Round sunglasses big as saucers. I'd say he looks plenty like a character out of a video game to the uninformed...
    #96
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  17. Ozarkroadrunner

    Ozarkroadrunner Been here awhile

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    Great ride report!!! Stay safe and as an Arkansas native, avoid Pine Bluff on your way back!
    #97
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  18. TurnerR

    TurnerR Ride motorcycles, have fun

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    I'm at cooks corner in Silverado CA. Born free pre party. If you see me say hi!!!!

    Left Boulder city this morning to meet a fella name Nick, @hellgnaw on Instagram. He had his buddy Melissa I think? She's @moldiegoldies on the gram. She's Andy Carter's woman from Pangea Speed. We left late, her wicked awesome CB chop was leaking some oil, so she changed it. I think it was the heat. She had 10-40 in it so she put 20-50 instead. Good call. Leak stopped.

    The trip was uneventful. The sights while beautiful, were hardly noticed due to the extreme heat and cross winds. The grooved concrete went for over 100 miles in Cali. You fight through it.... Both were good riders. Nick has obviously put some miles on and Melissa(?) did damn well for only riding 2 years. Let alone on a chop running a girder and no front brake. She has some electrical gremlins, so she ran the day with no lights. Nick didn't have a tail or brake light so I rode ass and blocked. I had to play catch up several times since lane splitting at speed is new to me. It's one thing in stand still but rolling is different. Between the cross winds, grooved asphalt, psychopaths, Avon Speedmasters, and rigid frame I feel like a boss.

    The party is awesome. I'm so torn between how I want to build my 76 shovel, but I almost want to go home just to tear into it. Next year I already have a game plan of a show bike. My father was born in '67 and within 12 months I'll own a titled '67. It may be just cases, but I'll have it. A smooth side shovel in a VL frame is sexier than a room full of strippers.

    I've made it from Tennessee to almost L.A. in one week. I dropped down to Dallas hoping to see Ian, but due to not having a set schedule it didn't work. I wanted to see my buddy Ashanti in Fort Hood, TX but with the heat I went back north. I took so many gorgeous scenic back roads and highways, rode through canyons, deserts, mountains. I saw the Grand Canyon, Hoover Dam, and one of my best buddies Casey in Boulder City. I rode my home built chopper to the Super Bowl of Chopper shows. I've met new friends, talked to countless strangers. This trip fucking rules. Oo yeah, this is just part one... To be continued

    Almost lost her fuel can. Mojave Desert
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    @moldiegoldies
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    @hellgnaw
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    Cali
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    "And we're there!!" -Lloyd Christmas
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    In Arizona I hit a bug at about 80mph that busted my sunburn nose. Battle wounds.
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    #98
  19. TurnerR

    TurnerR Ride motorcycles, have fun

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    My fave pic from Cooks.
    [​IMG]h
    #99
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  20. OldPete

    OldPete Be aware Supporter

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    Marking his spot. :super
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