Probably the worst damn ride report of all time.....

Discussion in 'Ride Reports - Epic Rides' started by TurnerR, Jun 17, 2016.

  1. TurnerR

    TurnerR Ride motorcycles, have fun

    Joined:
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    Leaving Cooke City I had a headache some call a hangover. It was earlier than I anticipated after those beers affected me so hard. Must be the elevation. I filled up with fuel and headed up 212. Maybe it was the headache but my gloves were now missing as I ascend the Bear Tooth Pass. This road is beautiful, I mean when people say it's "The most beautiful ride in America", they aren't kidding. I arrived at the "Top of the World Store" pretty chilled but in good spirits. I wanted some gloves and a hoodie to layer under my jacket because the tee shirt just wasn't cutting it. Some cheap deer skin work gloves were $20 and the awesome hoodie was 25 so I passed on the gloves. I went outside to see two younger guys on harley baggers with their flat bill hats and skulls galore stating that I'm in for a rude awakening near the top. "Ha, he doesn't even have a front brake the switchbacks are brutal!" I didn't say anything, I just waited for them to leave in their typical fashion. They tossed on their vest and skull helmets with the skull face mask and finger less gloves all while revving to the moon. Cool bruh....

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    I was close to the top of the pass and the views were breathtaking. There was way more snow than I anticipated where the sun hadn't melted it away. Soon I saw my bagger "buddies" pulled off and decided I'd do the same to snap a pic. I waited until they went ahead so I wouldn't hold them up. Sometimes it's fun to be wrong though. Shortly after I hit the "brutal switchbacks". If you enjoy riding, visit this road! They were amazing, I wish I was on one of my old sport bikes, or a motard. I caught the first one quick, and could see plenty far enough up the mountain to realize it was just us 3 on the road. I decided to overtake the first on the inside across the double yellow in the left hander. I hammered up the straight away and there still wasn't anything coming as we entered the next right hander and started to grin. I took the outside lane and passed the second one. I guess back brakes are good enough sometimes.... The road was amazing to the top and the descent was wonderful too. I was paying attention and didn't get too many pics, but it was something I'll remember for a long long time. A lady at the top said her car claimed it was 41* that morning. Chilly but refreshing!!

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    Chubby chipmunks and kids
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    Once I got into Red Lodge I headed east on 308 to Belfry. Another beautiful road. I've come to the conclusion that they don't have any roads up here with bad scenery. From Belfry I dropped south to Cody, WY. When I got into Cody I got a little turned around. I saw a misleading sign for the golden arches and ended up in downtown Cody. Apparently I didn't signal so I got some pretty blue lights behind me. Now the cop was super cool, but he was a little hesitant at first. I've never had a cop run the VIN on the neck before but I was all legal and he realized I was genuinely turned around. I received a warning for failure to use hand signals and a nice map of WY. Thanks man! From there I grabbed some food and headed east on 14 towards Bighorn State park.

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    Bighorn was awesome
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    Unfortunately it rained for the next 60 miles and was in the low 50's at the top of bighorn.... I was frozen when I got into Sheridan for the night. A cheap Motel 6 would have to suffice....
    td63, Plebeian, MadRusski and 19 others like this.
  2. Haven't Ben There

    Haven't Ben There restless soul

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    Sir you are having an epic adventure.
    Dan Diego and TurnerR like this.
  3. Bultaco206

    Bultaco206 Back-to-back motos suck Supporter

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    This is in the Top 3 all-time of Ride Reports in here that I've ever read. Outstanding. And thank you.
  4. pfalcioni

    pfalcioni Forever NOob

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    Central Oregon
    Jack Kerouac's got nuthin' on you.
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  5. KCgran

    KCgran n00b

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    Corner of walk and don't walk
    Sure wish he would tell us the REST of the story
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  6. DukeMButu

    DukeMButu Minister of Culture

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    Coming to a town near you soon!
    A fucking classic. Well done young 'un! Well fucking done!

    Do it again - por favor!
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  7. keithg

    keithg Been here awhile

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    Jan 29, 2007
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    You are WONDERFULL!
    Great story!
    Was at Cook's on Friday night before BORN FREE.
    We just go there for the SHOW!
    TurnerR likes this.
  8. FJ Fun

    FJ Fun Grouchy Old Squid

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    Clinton, Ar......The edge of Twisty Heaven
    I'm in for the duration!!
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  9. Dan Diego

    Dan Diego Long timer

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    I especially enjoyed this post from your RR for a few different reasons. Nice.
    TurnerR and FJ Fun like this.
  10. TurnerR

    TurnerR Ride motorcycles, have fun

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    Cleveland, TN
    I'm sorry for the delay, I'll try to finish in the upcoming days
  11. BadgerDog

    BadgerDog It was a dark and story night...

    Joined:
    Dec 7, 2014
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    King William, VA, USA
    Take all the time you need. It's nice knowing there's more to come.

    :*sip*
    TurnerR and FJ Fun like this.
  12. EJ from upstairs

    EJ from upstairs Adventurer

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    Nice work, Turner. So raw, so minimalist, so fun to read. Cheers!
    TurnerR likes this.
  13. TurnerR

    TurnerR Ride motorcycles, have fun

    Joined:
    Jul 31, 2008
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    Cleveland, TN
    In Sheridan I decided to stop for a room. I had gotten pretty tired fighting the wind and found a cheap motel from Google. Another storm was in Buffalo so I settled down with a couple hours daylight left. The gal at the motel recommended Sanford's Grub Pub and Brewery. Damn good food with a cool atmosphere that reminded me of a local place back home. After that I noticed the bar across the street called "RAINBOW", no it wasn't that kind of bar... I walked in for a beer as they closed. The bartender asked my story and was totally jealous of me. He recommended a beautiful road to take from Sturgis to Rushmore. I told him I probably would stick to the interstate for time yet he kept urging me to change my mind.

    The next morning I left later than I wanted. Those cheap independent motels have some comfy beds.... It was the 4th of July and I wanted to see Rushmore bad. I headed out only to be stopped by the worst crosswinds I would encounter the entire trip. About 20 miles before Gillette WY I got really scared for the first time. I honestly thought a tornado was going sweep me away. I had some Goldwing riders up my ass but they would never pass. Eventually they pulled off with their hazards flashing. I passed several bikes and cars pulled off, but there was no shelter to be found so I pressed forward. In Gillette I stopped at a gas station to rest. I had been riding at a 45* angle due to the wind and was damn near exhausted. The Goldwing riders soon joined me and informed me that I was a mad man for pressing on. It barely rained but the wind was hellish and the sky was dark. I ate some peanut m&m's and drank a Coke. I was terribly homesick...

    Soon the weather changed. Almost in an instant the sky turned blue and the sun returned. I seized my opportunity and headed east with Sturgis on my mind. That's the last time you'll hear me say that. Sturgis has never excited me. I don't give a shit about it. Maybe it's my lack of wolf t-shirts, or maybe I can just recognize what used to be cool isn't anymore.

    As soon as I arrived in Sturgis I stopped for fuel and the rain had caught me once again. I called my gal to wait out the storm which lasted about 90 minutes.... I wanted the quickest route to Rushmore and the guy running the gas station showed me on his map the absolute fastest route. Lol.... Turns out it was the same route the bartender in Sheridan told me to take. Now it was beautiful, but "fastest" is quite the stretch of the truth.

    I was really loving the scenery when I came to an uphill section of gravel. Yep, road work was being done, and I hit about an 1/8th mile of it. No biggie I thought, just as I hit another section... I kind of feel like I was being a bitch. It seemed like 5 miles but in all honestly was probably less than 2. The lousy part was it was pretty steep downhill and my rear brake only kept sliding. The ole dirt bike days kicked in and I was flat tracking some of the corners. The Black Hills are ok. They remind me of home. While beautiful, I'd seen much better on this trip.

    Deadwood, SD
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    Silver City, SD
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    The sun was setting fast as I neared Rushmore. The town was packed, and traffic sucked. I made a decision I don't regret, I saw the dead presidents from the road, snapped a pic, and got moving again. Rain was heading my way.

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    I booked it to Rapid City where rooms were outrageously priced. I settled for another motel 6 for 100 fucking dollars. That's so stupid... KOA wanted 40 for a tent spot. I can't stand KOA they are such a rip off. They claim the price is so high because they have showers and bathrooms and other amenities but won't let you opt out of those options. It is so stupid that we can't toss our tents up for 5 or 10 bucks. I just want a spot off the freeway where a drunk isn't going to run me over. Is that so much to ask for? A 10x10 grass spot to sleep should be damn near free.... In my room I heard the thunder boom and the lightning crack. I slept well in preparation to put down some miles....
  14. rebelmark

    rebelmark Adventurer

    Joined:
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    Awesome report! Loved your description of the ride through Tuba City; my wife and I did that many years ago and my memories are the same.
    TurnerR likes this.
  15. Peels

    Peels Long timer

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    Southeast IA.
    I'm with ya man. sturgis can f**k off. but, oh man is it nice to ride there.

    LOL stay safe.
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  16. flei

    flei cycletherapist

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    Western Mass.
    "... It is so stupid that we can't toss our tents up for 5 or 10 bucks. I just want a spot off the freeway where a drunk isn't going to run me over. Is that so much to ask for? A 10x10 grass spot to sleep should be damn near free...."

    a-hem..... perhaps you should take a look at the Tent Space Thread (http://advrider.com/index.php?threads/tent-space-map.776925/
    )? Tho nothing in Western So. Dak., you might find willing folks a lot of other places....
  17. Shady Pass David

    Shady Pass David Been here awhile Supporter

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    I may have said it b/4..But thanks for this RR... Yellowstone should have days for the idiots to take pictures of the squirrels and chippers....Have it open for the rest of us M-to-M....
    David
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  18. TurnerR

    TurnerR Ride motorcycles, have fun

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    July 5th about 11am I headed out from Rapid City SD. Leaving the motel 6 I saw another ADV'er pulling in. He was from Romania and spoke little English. Soon his wife walked up. I'm not sure why she was walking but they were nice and I showed them to the front desk. I decided to take i90 East. I was starting to get tired and homesick. I debated all day whether to head to Milwaukee, Ohio, or Tennessee. South Dakota was relatively boring. One highlight was stopping for fuel in Belvidere. Several little strange things happened here. First off this gas station was extremely easy to get in and out of. So I'm the only person around and I go inside to leave my bike at the pump in the shade. I'm talking to the girl at the register and ask why the bars are on the window. She tells me how violent some of the Native's are just south of town. I laugh, but she wasn't. Apparently they don't like white boys up there. She said that store had been broken into all the time, so they have had to reinforce everything. She then told me how it really was the Cowboys vs Indians up there. This totally blew me away, since the gas station is the only thing around. It was 33 miles to the reservation and many of the natives would hitchhike or WALK just to buy beer. I've never needed beer that bad.... As we are chatting a lady comes in to ask if that is my bike. I said yes and she asked if would step outside. My heart sank as I could only imagine it being smashed by the Super Duty I could barely see through the windows. I walk out to see the big Ford inches from behind my tire, she asks if I will move it because they have a 29 foot camper and that's the only pump they can get into................................................................................................................................... I urge you to google Dakota Trail Gas Mart Belvidere SD and click maps, then the photo to grasp how much fucking room this truck had. How in god's name they could be actually towing a trailer less than 30 feet when they couldn't even make it in this station is beyond me. The girl at the register asked if I knew them and they were messing with me. It was weird..... I go back in to eat some Peanut Butter crackers and a coke when some natives show up. This girl wasn't kidding. They were pissy and never said a word. Literally dropped exact change on the counter with coins rolling to the ground as they walked out before she could count the money. I've never seen grown adults act like that for literally no reason other than our skin color. After they left I was ready to get moving and headed east.

    I took my time through SD. I stopped about every 50-60 miles and would rest for a few minutes. I was still undecided on where to go so I kept dragging the day out. Soon I had arrived at Sioux Falls and decided to call my gal. We talked for almost an hour and I decided I no longer wanted to go to the HD museum. Not on this trip at least. I fueled up, and decided to head south for about another hour then stop at dark. Now it was cloudy and looked like a storm could pop up but the weather was nice so far. As soon as I pulled out of the gas station I was behind a black van turning onto i29 south at the redlight when something looked off. It took a moment trying to figure out what was missing when I realized it was my headlight reflection. Shit. I saw a walmart in the distance and headed there instead. Once there I couldn't remember which bulb it took. I pulled out my tools and found it to be an H3. Inside I hit some lousy luck they were completely out of H3 bulbs. Shit shit shit. I googled auto stores in the area and finally found an O'reilly's about 15 minutes south. It was now getting pretty dark after repacking all my junk and O'reilly's would close in 30 minutes. Luckily I hit traffic..... It seemed like forever as I anticipated the store to be closing but I had 15 minutes to spare. They had my bulb and 11 dollars later I was back in business. I rode down to Beresford where I would grab a cheap motel. If you are in the area and need a place to crash head over to the Crossroads Motel. Super cool old man who had a beautiful 1st Gen Thunderbird he had purchased new. We talked Blue Ovals for a while, he reminded me of my grandfather who had given me his 1970 Bronco my dad and I restored. The old timer loved my bike and story and no matter how tired I was, I didn't want our conversation to end. Something was really special about talking to that old guy and I felt like something else was going on there. I felt my grandfather's spirit with me, I believe he was there with me. Maybe my guardian angel this whole damn trip.....
    td63, Plebeian, MadRusski and 23 others like this.
  19. Takin'aTrip

    Takin'aTrip I have miles to go before I sleep

    Joined:
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    USA
    "Super cool old man who had a beautiful 1st Gen Thunderbird he had purchased new. We talked Blue Ovals for a while, he reminded me of my grandfather who had given me his 1970 Bronco my dad and I restored. The old timer loved my bike and story and no matter how tired I was, I didn't want our conversation to end. Something was really special about talking to that old guy and I felt like something else was going on there. I felt my grandfather's spirit with me, I believe he was there with me. Maybe my guardian angel this whole damn trip....."

    @TurnerR...this was really too cool.

  20. BadgerDog

    BadgerDog It was a dark and story night...

    Joined:
    Dec 7, 2014
    Oddometer:
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    Location:
    King William, VA, USA
    I know you're home now, but with your ongoing updates, it's like you're still out there. Thanks for taking the time to finish the tale.

    Good reading!

    :ricky