I am new but been lurking for a while. Looking for help to get over my recent “accident” so I am posting here vs crash. Long one. The story I started riding about 10/11 years ago. Had never been on a bike in my life before that. Always loved the idea but growing up no dad and poor it just was not anywhere near possible. Took the MSF class at 32/33. Got a Ninja 500 and road the hell out of it – mostly on the Blue Ridge Parkway cause why not. Sold for a move then got Triumph RS 955. Loved that bike! Then a cross country move came up and it cost too much to ship. And I found myself going too fast J. Moved to the Pacific Northwest and with the rain and prices I sat on sideline for 4-5 years. Moved to Denver in January of this year. Finally being back in Curve Land I knew it was time. The new job requires some rush hour commuting on much busier streets then I have seen in many years so all I saw was death all around me. Talking to some bikers they said – CO is the land of dirt riding, leave the cars behind. Always loved the idea of dirt bikes so sounded right. Since I had never even sat on a dirt bike I went and took the MSF Dirt Bike School to see if I would like it before buying. Had a great teacher but in the end it was really just 4 hours in a guys backyard on a Honda 250. I loved it and did pretty good. Instructor was really pushing a lite bike so I started my search there. In the end I decided I wanted to ride to the dirt not trailer it, could I really go from 120 HP to 20, at my age will I ever be hardcore dirt? I settled in the middle and was set to buy a BMW X Challenge. Set the date and then the guy sold it the night before to someone else. While I am looking the old lady says “So you are going to ride a high powered machine on dirt roads out into the middle of nowhere, alone, with no experience”. Me - Umm yes? But she had a point and it stuck in my head. So I did some research (including here on ADV) and found the BMW RawHyde school. Consensus was it was expensive but good. Turns out it is just 2.5 hours from my work – so much more doable then for most. The part that really intrigued me was each year they sell off their rental bikes. They sell the 700, the 800 adventure, the 1200, and 1200 GSA. They are pretty light use at 1,000 miles or so, have full custom crash bars, are still considered new from the dealer so full warranty, extra tires, and have every single option on it that BMW makes. I have 0 interested in the 1200 but I went and sat on a 800 and it’s a dam nice bike. They sell them at a pretty nice discount and they throw in the class for free ($1400 + a after ride for $600). So many of the bikes I was looking at, when you added in the class were the same or less. So that means I was all in at a little over 10K for a basically brand new 800 adventure if you minus the class. Now my last bike was $2800 so this would a HUGE deal for me. I actually can technically afford it but I am very tight with my money. And this bike would now be worth more than my truck! Again not cheap but I have 0 friends here, and no fiends at all that ride, so really no other option. Plus this is like a dream come true and it feels really good to be able to do something like this after several bad job years. So I went for it. Found out I had to wait till later in the year since it was still being rented. Waited 7 long weeks! But finally the time came on Aug 10. I get there and the bike is sweet. Maybe 1-2 small scratches and just 994 miles. I sit on it on Friday night but do not get to ride it at all. No one gets much sleep, I got none. Next morning we have some meeting time then we head out to ride. This is when it sinks in that it has been almost 5 years of not riding, never been on dirt, and I have 0 experience on this bike. So I ask to ride around the small circle driveway for a minute. With ABS off the brakes are super touchy. I am never had good brakes before. But what really concerns me is we have to ride down a rather nasty dirt driveway with some rather large rocks and rather steep down. They assure me the rest of the day is flat and easy. I get to the edge of the driveway and stop. Everything is telling me to not go down that road. The brakes are driving me nuts and I know I am not ready for this. I sit there for a bit with back teacher waiting. I tell him I am very unsure. But at this point I spent a ton of money and I just watched everyone else do it so I go for it. Literally 2 minutes later I bump a rock, which bumps my hand down on the brake, and a fall off to the left. Going like 5 mph but due to getting stuck on the rock I cannot walk off the fall and a fall into a rock pile. My back is tweaked a bit and my wrist hurts a bit but I can move everything so I may be ok. Of course shaken at this point. Adrenaline is kicking so I pick the bike up and proceed to ride for 3 more hours. Wrist starts to hurt more and more. Mentally I also start to struggle and the instructors all see it and try to get me back in it. Each rock I hit hurts more. I drop the bike 3 more times, twice because the clutch just pooped out on me since I could not hold it down very well. Everyone else is dropping though so I push on. Lunch comes and I make it up that driveway ok but mentally I am done. Really mad at myself. Once I stop using it at lunch it freezes solid. Not only can I not pull in the clutch I can barely move the hand at all. So I have to skip the afternoon. I watch everyone else roll out while I lay there in a hot tent all day beating myself up over and over. As I lay there I can tell there is something more than a sprain going on but I still have hope to ride tomorrow. Later that night I finally see the retired paramedic. He points out the bruises forming and says I for sure have a break. Heart sinks, never had a broken bone before. It is late at that point and I had a beer so I have to stay the night. Spent all night in pain but the mental was worse. What if I cannot work and lose my job? What if my hand never comes back? I just spent a ton on this thing, trip of a lifetime ruined, etc. Feel like an idiot over his head. Everyone is trying to cheer me up but I am in a bad spot. There are some other newbies there but most have been riding dirt a long time. The rest have at least been riding street a lot. Had one older women that dropped her bike 27 times that afternoon – and was fine. I know I landed just right but that makes it even harder to digest. I had planned to trailer the bike back home but the next morning I cannot even tie my shoes let alone move a bike. At this point I ask about cancelling the sale. I may be out of a job at this point! They are not really having that. So we agree I can leave the bike there while I figure out what is up. I drive the 2.5 hours home 1 handed (I have a manual). Its Sunday so I go to urgent care. He only finds a broken ring finger but says his machine is not very good and to get another once swelling is down. Gives me a splint for a few weeks and says go to PT. I may be fine! Well as the week rolls on my wrist is not right. So I finally get into a hand surgeon 2 weeks later. Better Xray shows I also broke my triquetrum in my wrist/hand. Says I should have been in a cast the last 2 weeks. But good news no surgery and it usually heals back to 100%. But it will be more like 6 weeks of 0 movement then a rebuilding. I will not be back on a bike for months. It takes about a month but I coordinate them brining me my bike. I am still really down mentally. I mean it was a 5 day trip and I didn’t make it out of the driveway! I don’t have much of an ego but that was rather tough to swallow. My season is gone, I am out the class (I think), Dr bils, and I can’t even put on my own pants. I am super independent and never stop moving. But now I have to rely on the gf for everything. Can’t open jars, carry anything, or type at work. Luckily work is cool and I one hand it best I can. Forces to tell the story like 1000 times. Yes I feel in the first minute, etc. After 8 weeks I am still in a brace and weak. I got out to the garage every day for weeks. I cannot even hold the clutch in let alone pull it in. Really down. I finally turn a corner at 9+ weeks. Now it is 11 long weeks later and I just cleared my last Xray! I am able to do a pull up again with the brace! I still have many weeks of building back up (my forearm is tiny) but I see the light now. Still can only bend my wrist half way – that is my biggest issue. It is probably early but I plan to take off and ride this Friday. I need it mentally. I also need to get the bike registered – which here requires a VIN inspection so I must physically get it over there. I think I am ready – its only a mile. Getting it off the center stand worries me more actually since I still am rather weak still. But I can pull the clutch in great now! If it goes ok I may ride around a bit. You think I am ready? My plan is to switch over to the street tires and work my way back up on the road for a bit. Thinking of taking the MSF again (since the gf wants to also) or the MSF Advanced so I can use my own bike. If I work back up I am hoping RawHyde lets me come back next summer and finish. I do not give up easy but it will take some work mentally. Relatives say quit but I still think never riding again is more scary then riding again. Which brings me to my actual point. I normally ride alone but I am looking for a riding buddy that is willing to help me work my way back up, and watch my back would probably be a good idea. Start out street and then maybe some bunny hills. Maybe you are a novice too. I know winter is here but I hope to get a few rides in. Maybe someone will take pity on me. I live near 70 and Sheridan in Denver. Feel free to beat me up, point out my mistakes, etc. I want to learn. These stories have helped me in the past so I hope this helps someone. It was hard to put all this out there. If anyone wants more info on RawHyde, etc I could post that. Already running long. Oh and I do GIS (mapping) for a living so happy to help with routes and such. Thanks!