I'm back. I see a lot of responses that I will read and will respond to. I will also finish the ride report. But before then, I have some explaining to do. When I got back to the US, I was miserable. You don't have to spent a few years fucking off to come back and slide into depression. (Anyone who's ever returned to work after a 2 week vacation knows what I'm talking about.) From 2012 to 2015, I was free. Completely free and in control of my own destiny. At a moment's notice I'd take an exit that would lead to Slovakia. I'd leave one country in the morning without any idea where I would be sleeping that night. And and later that night I'd be eating Mexican food and drinking margaritas in Prague. I could spend three weeks in Montreal on a whim, then, also on a whim, decide it's a good idea to run for my life RIGHT FUCKING NOW! (Hey Detroit!). And I returned from the first trip. Then headed off on the second (PacNW). Then return, then repeat. But after Europe I was done. Not by choice. Funds were drying up and instead of selling the Panigale to live on a moped for another year, I returned to the software world. I figured I'd bust my ass, live modestly, save up and then figure out what I'm going to do when I grow up. And bust my ass I did. The devil on my right shoulder was telling me to 'fuck it'. The devil on my left shoulder said, 'suck it up....there'll be time to play later'. This ride report came to a screeching halt because, between my doing what I loved at night (painting until the small hours of the morning), and working my ass off, I had no time (I think I also 'suffer' from monomania and tend to, err, become possessed with certain pursuits). On a very personal level, though, it was nearly impossible to even think about this former life where I was so happy and satisfied. I had so much hope that doing what I loved would miraculously lead to doing more of what I loved. Instead I was updating spreadsheets. So I logged off. The cognitive dissonance was too much to bear. Then it got worse. Now, I'd spent almost a year learning completely new technology; a year building up a territory. A year of cold calling, prospecting, onsite meetings, PowerPoints, networking and sleepless nights spent trying to crack the code. A year of fucking dedication. And then I had deals on the table. Commission was on the horizon. Happiness began to set in because hope was back. Keep it up. It will work out. And then the roof caved in. A chance encounter led to some startling information. And I did some digging. And the deeper I dug the worse it got. I consulted a lawyer to see if what we were doing was fraud. And then I quit. Rather than make money by lying to customers, I quit. And that's where things are at. It's been a month. I sleep as little as possible and paint the rest of the time. I'm doing what I love once again. And I'll figure something out. But I'm not miserable anymore (when I'm depressed I tend to retreat, hence my long absence) and look forward to the uncertainty ahead. I'll check back in tomorrow and respond to the comments above before finishing off Europe.