San Diego to Anchorage: The Grapes of Rat

Discussion in 'Ride Reports - Epic Rides' started by vermin, Jul 15, 2008.

  1. thomas.clark

    thomas.clark Uneasy Rider

    Joined:
    Apr 9, 2009
    Oddometer:
    121
    Location:
    Florida, land of flat, straight roads.
    :thumbup

    Here's a subtitle for my leg of this thing:

    Man vs Child: A Ratbike Race With Fatherhood


    So I figure Alcan Rider is an awesome guy. He's gonna try to come down and meet me in Palmer to provide an escort to Glennallen. Then I think he's going to try to reason with me about turning around and heading back, but when that fails he wants to take me on up to Tok.

    Also, odd coincidence - I talked to Vermin last night and he was 20 miles from me hauling north with no time to stop for dinner. go figure.
  2. vermin

    vermin unrepentant thinner

    Joined:
    Jan 20, 2007
    Oddometer:
    575
    By "bag me a grizzly" I hope you mean shoot. for any other purpose As far as alaskan jurisprudence is concerned I am not sure if gristle bares have the self awareness to form consent (carnal knowledge wise) so you might be on a slippery slope with the whole statutory deal (bag wise).

    Is that a salmon in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?
  3. vermin

    vermin unrepentant thinner

    Joined:
    Jan 20, 2007
    Oddometer:
    575
    Actually it was given to me on the pretense that it was a "wrotten moth eaten mink my grandma had" from a girl at work. further inspection revealed printing on the back identifying the pelts (rotten as they were) as marmot. A generic termin for a low class vermin. I presume some young man back in the 1920's pulled a fast one so that perchance this chicks grandma might bestow her favors on him. I hope he got what he wanted and perhaps the mother of the girl that gave me the mildewy marmot was the result of the sweaty feverish entanglement that this false mink provoked. While we are addressing falseness, I would like to point out that several months later upon the disemployment of the afformentioned 6'1", large adams apple having, Barbi collecting, mink giving to me, woman, a viscuous rumour spred throughout the workplace that she was not, in fact, a female. Deception runs in the family I guess.

    This particular unit was in the 1st last issue of iron horse magazine in june 1998


    http://www.ratbike.org/michigan.php


    Vermin
  4. GatorJane

    GatorJane Ghost Writer

    Joined:
    Sep 11, 2007
    Oddometer:
    77
    Mink, Marmot, Ermine, Fisher, Ferret, Marten....
    all just one more fancy name for Weasel....
    which is just another RAT! :D

    [​IMG]
  5. vermin

    vermin unrepentant thinner

    Joined:
    Jan 20, 2007
    Oddometer:
    575
    It handles like a moto GP bike now compared to with all the people and stuff on it. Now you know why I kind of (really) freaked out when I dropped it on me and my kid in the desert.
  6. YZman

    YZman Bouncing off Trees

    Joined:
    May 16, 2006
    Oddometer:
    1,136
    Location:
    Montucky
    hey Verm...this fella hit apon a great idea of how to keep the oil in them pesky forks

    [​IMG]
  7. thomas.clark

    thomas.clark Uneasy Rider

    Joined:
    Apr 9, 2009
    Oddometer:
    121
    Location:
    Florida, land of flat, straight roads.
    all packed, ready to go. normally, I wouldn't be packed until about 5am for my 8am flight, but i promised the scouts in my BSA troop that I would bring in my fully loaded pack. good thing, too - I discovered two important items that would have messed me up good at 4am on thursday morning:
    1. my full face helmet doesnt fit in aforementioned beater top case
    2. the rest of my stuff doesnt fit in aforementioned pack
    Gambling on the knowledge that I always overpack, I thinned out a few redundant items, and over to the troop meeting i went. as the guys are going through my stuff, one of the littlest ones aptly points out that I haven't packed a first aid kit. I told him not to worry and that by not packing a first aid kit i won't have to worry about bandaging any wounds. then another kid pointed out that going out by myself into the wilds of alaska and canada violates a whole bunch of scouting principles. I told him not to worry and that those principles only apply to boy scouts, not boy scout leaders.
  8. Mileater

    Mileater Been here awhile

    Joined:
    Nov 29, 2007
    Oddometer:
    380
    Location:
    Christchurch, New Zealand
    The usual retort to the breaking of one's own rules is, "do as I say, not as I do." :lol3

    The littlie was right, though... even a small first aid kit can be of use, if not to you then, maybe, someone else. :deal

    Ok, I'll return to the cheap seats and continue to enjoy the show. :D

    Good luck and happy travels with Cack :clap

    Cheers :freaky
    Allan
  9. vermin

    vermin unrepentant thinner

    Joined:
    Jan 20, 2007
    Oddometer:
    575
    gitcha a decent multitool and a hand full of cable ties.

    Cack tupperware repair technick is to take the philips head bit of the multitool and twist a hole into each part you are trying to attach and connect the two with a cable tie.

    By the way the left rear view mirror is a little dangly but still works fine from the affore mentioned repair in the incident in the desert.

    Take a fat sharpie with you so you can have people sign the cack and you can write shit on her.

    Which reminds me don't forget the most important thing a sMall notebook savor this shit baby and write it down. As a old dude to a young dude I will give you another pointer. (I bet yall are expecting something poiniant at this point, DENIED) when you get your shit packed in that topcase and you like your rolling routine never never never never never take shit out of it (keep your poop inna group). If you need something out of it go buy it new. Threaten to kill younguns if they touch your shit, think about your shit, let their friends think about your shit, make the threats plausible.

    This way you will always have your resources ready. Buddies want to whip up to deals gap for a night? Bammmm I am ready baby when we leavin? my shit is packed. As a side note it kind of keeps the fem on her toes knowin that with 7 seconds of preparation you could be gone and Comfortable/

    Sound tough don't I? Doesnt matter what you threaten they will disperse yourshit throughout their cluttered environment with wild and recles abandon like so much dead dandelion fur on windy day. Grit your teeth through your tung and get over it, this will be the first of hundreds of thousand of times your shit is dispersed against your wishes.

    you can

    1) savagely beat their asses and have them fear you

    2) throw their shit away when they are not looking (sometimes when they are just to prove a point). Just till their bottom lip quivers just the right amount, if they go into a full squall their (his/her/its) maternal handler shall dash from the other room and smite you with much fury. In 20 minutes they will have a vague uncomfortable feeling about loosing your shit but still climb up on your lap and hug you.

    drifter and dollbabies handler has smiteted me with much fury on several occasions and you will get over even that, but dispersed shit is pox that remains forever (at least until it is repersed)

    O yeh one more caviar, the tail light assembly is held on by something other then precisely zinc coated 19 year old japanese fasteners. At one time it was bailing wire at one time it was duc tape. I dont remember but just beware if you hear a dragging sound or any anamolous sound pull over and check it out.

    The oil dipstick is under the little jackass cover by your foots on the right side (i think) those are actually designed to be forced out.

    One thing I am realizing is I somehow care more about your comfort and safety on this trip than I did my own. Good luck bro.


    Tearfull hugs and kisses


    Vermin

    Dont forget to get bumperstickers dood:1drink the squirrelyier the better.

    PS wilderness first aid kit wise me and my buddies always make sure one of us has a gun to shoot the other one should they start bitching about injury, pain or discomfort, works better than advil. This topic came up when bruce almost hit a wild mule in the middle of northwestern nevada and we realized you could die of a blood blister on your pinky out their because there is no way you are getting out if you are real serious injured. We talk big but I know I could never shoot bruce but I am not sure the reverse is true (I can be a little much)
  10. Strog

    Strog Geek on two wheels

    Joined:
    Jan 16, 2007
    Oddometer:
    435
    Location:
    Broken Arrow, OK
    Anamolous sound?!?!? I thought it was a Cackiphony of squeaks, squawks, banging, groaning, etc. already. How is he supposed to know what an anamolous sound really is??? :lol3

    Maybe my imagination has run off with me and it's not that bad. Don't run out and get me if it has because I like it out here. :ksteve
  11. Gale B.T.

    Gale B.T. Long timer

    Joined:
    Jun 14, 2005
    Oddometer:
    1,829
    Location:
    Pagosa Springs, CO.
    Thomas , we are all with you, thoughts , prayers, etc. You will enjoy, you will have an adventure, you will/should have lots of pics and memories.

    Now if you think Verm's verbal diarrhea on the above blast is one of his "gooduns", then we must all wait until he shares with all the ADV inmates the story of "The Flip LID Helmet " . You must understand that those of us with normal round heads are naturals for flip lids. Vermin has the 'long/thin" shape head, ANY WAY, he has a story about his efforts to TRY ON THIS FLIP LID helmet.

    Verm , is that enough of an intro to get you started?? Can you write the story as well as you told the story to us???

    The bait is set for the 'RAT"

    love you VERM, gale
  12. vermin

    vermin unrepentant thinner

    Joined:
    Jan 20, 2007
    Oddometer:
    575


    That particular story involves profane language, wild gesticulation, contorted facial expressions, and shrieking at the top of my lungs. All these demensions would be lost if typewritten. I suggest the story be delivered round a campfire on some lost highway so ifn you ADVRiders see my hiviz self rollin free down the road, lasso me and I will regail you with a spell binding yarn about the cleveland motorcycle show, fatbastard, an illfitting helmet and myself that is guaranteed to fill your Depends brand adult undergarment to overflowing.

    Oh yeh Dear Gale, Sweet thang (verwoman)and me might point ourselfs toward pagosa springs in late july in our brand new teardrop vintage lookin trailer.


    Vermin
  13. Gale B.T.

    Gale B.T. Long timer

    Joined:
    Jun 14, 2005
    Oddometer:
    1,829
    Location:
    Pagosa Springs, CO.
    You and Sweet thang are always welcome here , what ever mode of transportation.

    Now, speaking of July, on July 13th , I am taking this Sandy on a back pack trip into Berg Lake., Her first trip ever there. My too many to count. This is the site of 25 years of my middle school survival 5 day pack trip.

    The Berg Lake Trail is voted internationally as the #1 most scenic hikiing/pack trail in the world.

    I hereby invite you and yours to go with us. I have "my people" in the park service there that will get us in with the permits we need.

    So what'cha say??? What say ye???
    gale
  14. RyanIsMyName

    RyanIsMyName Been here awhile

    Joined:
    Sep 25, 2007
    Oddometer:
    919
    Location:
    Baltimore, MD
    Well we've already had our first "problem"


    Thomas: I dont think the spare regulator is going to reach you in time. I wouldn't worry about it though. Even if the regulator does fry the battery should last at least half way across Canada.

    Good luck!
  15. vermin

    vermin unrepentant thinner

    Joined:
    Jan 20, 2007
    Oddometer:
    575
    This is not a problem, cancer is a problem, the death of a loved one is a problem, coming back from brazil and finding your hampsters frozen to death in the house, and a basement full to the floor joist with water when you go to find out why the furnace isn't working is a problem, finding out the (ex)wife (on her way out with your kid) did all that on purpose is a problem. Not having a regulator for a good running bike that has never had a regulator fail in the 45,000 vehicles produced by honda is not a problem.

    Let loose a that sfinkter boyo or you will get a nervous excitement problem
    like shingles
  16. Poolside

    Poolside Syndicated

    Joined:
    Apr 1, 2003
    Oddometer:
    11,889
    Location:
    Silicon Beach, CA
    <BR>Heh heh On purpose? Ouch!

    <BR>
  17. vermin

    vermin unrepentant thinner

    Joined:
    Jan 20, 2007
    Oddometer:
    575
    Yes it was on purpose, it happened to a buddy of mine after an extended trip to Brazil for work. Did I mention the collateral damage? His goldfish where frozen in their bowl.
  18. RyanIsMyName

    RyanIsMyName Been here awhile

    Joined:
    Sep 25, 2007
    Oddometer:
    919
    Location:
    Baltimore, MD
    Do I sound worried? Not at all! I've got the easy part of this trip.

    I think my girlfriend and I are going to get drunk and "decorate" my old helmet for the trip.
  19. Poolside

    Poolside Syndicated

    Joined:
    Apr 1, 2003
    Oddometer:
    11,889
    Location:
    Silicon Beach, CA
    <BR>
    My wife left me and killed the goldfish, I'm going to miss those goldfish.


    Hey, is this new roadtrip thread gonna have music?

    <BR>
  20. CETME

    CETME Been here awhile

    Joined:
    Jul 14, 2005
    Oddometer:
    239
    What's a regulator? Can you fix it with some good jokes and colorful language? If so, let me look at it.