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The Doctor said he could save the finger/A quest for EIM and Moose Drool in my pocket

Discussion in 'Ride Reports - Epic Rides' started by DAKEZ, Jul 19, 2008.

  1. DAKEZ

    DAKEZ Long timer

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    Sorry, this is not a face plant story.

    Bare with me now it will all come together. This is my first ride report so it may not rise to the standards of Bug Murderers... or the photographic excellence of Roamin’ the Rockies…or many of the other excellent RR's (it is of a quick little trip that kind of fell into my lap, Damn the luck) but I will do my best to entertain.

    Note: If you don’t like reading, this RR is not for you. I'm fixin' to get a bit “wordy” or there would not be much to it. Enjoy.

    Hint: if you want to skip to the entertaining stories...posts 15, 27 & 35 (but it's all worth reading):D

    [​IMG]
    So I was sitting here on my computer (ADVrider of course) reading Gypsyrr’s ride report Roamin’ the Rockies… when I get a call. It was from my Brother-in Law Kirk. He was wanting me to send him his riding gear.

    Well I had a better idea!

    This is Kirk.
    [​IMG]
    It seems that Kirk, while on vacation in Montana made the mistake (or had the good fortune) of going in to see the fine folks at Big Sky BMW in Nemissoulatakoo.
    To all you non-natives that’s Missoula.


    Missoula is a fine little city located in Western Montana were five valleys converge into a splendid and centrally located gateway to recreational excellence.

    Some of you may know of it from the movie A River Runs Through It others may have heard of it because some how, some way, the Grizzly Football team (U of M) usually manages to make it to the division 1AA National Championship and occasionally WIN IT!!!

    There are many good stories that could be shared about Missoula. One we won’t go into too deep here is the meaning itself: River of Ambush.

    Apparently (not all that long ago) the Blackfoot Indians had a bit of meanness in ’em and would ambush the Salish, Kootenai, and Nez Perce tribes just to the East of the valley.

    There are stories of what would now be considered extremely brutal behavior between the Native people both before and after “the White Man” arrived. Some of those White folks, (after hearing the stories of violence) shortened the name a bit and just called it Hellgate.

    It was later changed to Missoula due to people finding the whole “Hell” thing too offensive.

    And you all thought that being PC was a new concept.


    I could write a book about Missoula. (some say I should) You see, I am from there… and that river in the in the title of the movie, well it’s waters flow through my veins.

    But I digress.

    Anyway, it seems that some bloke had just traded in a 2005 1200GS for a new ‘08’ model and Kirk could not pass it up. He has been reading all the excellent ride reports from you all and the bug has not only bitten him it has burrowed in deep like a tick and taken up residence.

    My Sister is learning to loath ADVrider
    #1
  2. DAKEZ

    DAKEZ Long timer

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    Well Kirk has a little problem. You see, last week in one of those spontaneous bad decisions (we all make ‘em) he thought it would be a good idea to catch a cement post he made for his grape vines when it broke off as he was trying to plant it in the ground. The damn thing weighed over 200lbs.
    [​IMG]


    ALMOST TOOK THE END OFF ONE OF HIS FINGERS.
    [​IMG]

    Well Kirk's misfortune is my good fortune.

    I get to ride to Montana to on his 1200c to take his gear to him and pick up his new bike and bring it back here to Pitland, OR. (that’s not a typo, I hate this place)

    In two weeks when his finger is better he’s going to ride the 1200c home.


    This is Kirk’s R1200c "OG"
    [​IMG]

    I was once the "OG Master" but I sold him to Kirk a couple years ago. There are a few things you should know about OG.

    OG is perhaps the most arrogant motorcycle known to man,

    OG is always going on about how great he is. Always telling stories about how when he was younger he stared in a James Bond movie or some such.

    Well I never believed a word of it… then I found this.
    [​IMG]
    The color is wrong but could it be? I do see are some similarities.

    When I inquired to OG about the color discrepancies he said he changed to Chameleon Blue because he was tired of the paparazzi constantly hounding him.

    So now, while I still have my doubts I am starting to believe that it’s all true.

    Did I mention OG is arrogant? Well every time he starts thinking that he is too cool for school I just whip out the embarrassing photos.

    One morning a few years back I walked outside to get the paper and found this sorry sight.
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    Apparently OG had a rough night out on the town and came home without pants. It took me three days to find him some new ones and get him dressed back up.

    I love them photos.

    Works every time to bring a little humility to that cocky ‘lil pig. Stops ALL the bragging.




    #2
  3. DAKEZ

    DAKEZ Long timer

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    Well it was Thursday afternoon when that call came in and I had myself a little problem.

    I had just gotten off the phone with my new employer and he wanted me to start the next day. So I call up my new boss and tell him what I wanted to do.

    Now I don’t know if he liked me that much or if he just liked the sound of the adventure I was about to take but he said, I could start on Monday.

    So I start hopping about frantically packing a few things for my trip.

    A couple pair of underwear, a shirt or two… and I threw in my Frog Togs just in case I run into one of them Montana thunder showers.(those damned things can drown a fish)

    Then I’m off to Kirk’s place to grab his gear. I gather up all his ATGATT throw it in a dry bag and strap it on the back of OG (all this time OG doesn’t shut up… “where we going? where we going?…oh can we go…”)

    It seems OG has been a bit disappointed being used for nothing but a commuter bike.

    I don’t know what time it was when we left Portland but I do know that large glowing orb in the sky was not going to wait around just for me. So we hit the road.
    [​IMG]
    It was a beautiful day.

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]
    #3
  4. DAKEZ

    DAKEZ Long timer

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    Now I know that squirrels can't talk but this little mooch had some type of telepathic powers of communication.
    I know it sounds stupid but I have no other explanation for the thoughts that jumped into my head while he stood there begging for a bite of my apple.
    [​IMG]
    Things like: "You don't actually believe that An Apple a Day Myth Do You?" and
    "DON'T EAT IT DOWN TO THE CORE, THE SEEDS ARE POISONOUS"

    Well when the thought
    "DON'T EAT MORE THAN HALF THAT APPLE OR YOU WILL END UP WITH MONKEY BUTT" jumped into my head I gave up and let him have the apple.

    THE SUNSET FROM HELL

    I’m somewhere in WA. or OR.. along the Columbia and stop for a photo of the sunset.
    [​IMG]

    I take this one and then have a look at it on the screen on the back of the camera and think to myself “this isn’t going to do”

    I jump back on OG and speed off looking for a better spot. Then I see a rock formation and I sez to myself, “I got to get me a photo of that.”

    The problem was the highway was on the wrong side. So I whip OG around and go back and find this old dirt road heading up into the hills.

    It was steep and rutted and I was wishing that I was on a GS instead of the C. But OG never let out a whimper (even when I bottomed out a couple times).

    I find just the right place and shut old OG down for a rest, get out my camera and start walking up on a berm to get a good shot of the beautiful sunset.

    About this time here comes some farmer in an old Ford truck. He was coming fast and old OG was just sitting there in the road about to be run over.
    I start a running, waving my arms in the air trying to get this farmer attention before he sends OG to an untimely death and leaves me stranded.

    Well that farmer hauls that truck to a stop in a cloud of dust and jumps out yelling a string of questions skillfully decorated with all manner of colorful metaphors. (must have been a sailor when he was younger)

    I couldn’t get a work in edgewise. Well after a bit of stomping around screaming he calmed down enough to hear me tell him I was just after a photo of the sunset.

    I’m not sure why but that just got him all wound up again and out came more of that colorful language.

    Only this time it wasn’t questions, it was matter of fact statements about what he thought I should be doing.(and going)

    Now I’m not a little guy. I’m 6’5” wearing all my ATGATT, face shield flipped up and the sun is not going to wait around while I enter a debate with this saliva spewing farmer.

    I decide to just ignore him and turn to walk back out on the berm for the photo. You know that really pissed him off and he goes running back to his truck and fetches a shotgun.

    I’m thinking to myself “I wonder if it’s filled with bird shot, if it’s bird shot I might be alright being ATGATT”

    I made the decision to call this ornery old cuss’s bluff.

    I yelled out: “WHAT? YOU GONNA SHOOT ME? GO AHEAD AND SHOOT, I’M SHOOTING THAT!!!” (pointing to the sun)

    Then I turned around and took this photo.
    [​IMG]
    It isn’t even that good because some of the color went out of it while I watched that old fart jumping about screaming.

    Oh well, it sure was fun getting it.

    I walk back to OG …the guy is still screaming asking me if I was crazy... Still waving his gun around,

    I’m thinking “he thinks I’m crazy?”

    I get OG turned around and we head on down the hill.

    Now going up seemed much easier than going down. Going down I had a crazed farmer in his truck following me so I didn’t dare slow down.

    OG didn’t complain and we made it back down to the highway.

    But now I’m a little pissed off.

    Not from getting a gun pointed at me but from being chased down a dual sport hill on a cruiser.

    I turn OG off and get off screaming: “WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM?”

    Well that old farmer must of thought I was crazy walking up on him yelling because he calmed right down. And said “don’t you know that bike is hot and you could’ve started a fire?”

    I said: “I’m not an idiot. I’m from Montana and I know about starting fires with bikes, that’s why I stayed out of the brush!!!”

    His response: “Well your plates say your from Oregon”

    He then backs his truck up turns around and drives back up the hill.

    I just stood there a few minutes wishing I had a cigarette to calm me down.

    I took a photo of that old geezer and his gun and I would post it up here but I had me a little problem.

    I had two cameras with me. They are both those fancy new fangled things don’t even need no film.

    In all my haste earlier in the day I made the mistake of leaving home with a 16MB card in one of them.

    Now it’s not like in the olden days when you could just whip out a roll of film and make everything better.

    I don’t know what a MB is but I now know what 16 of them are good for.

    16 WILL GET YOU 9 PHOTOS... THEN IT SEZ IT‘S ALL FULL UP.

    Well I also forgot my USB cable and try as I did to get those photos out of my camera and into my fancy new lap top computer I just couldn’t do it.

    So the next day as I was riding along taking pictures I found myself all full up on both cameras.

    From then on I was riding and stopping and choosing witch one of those digital pictures I wanted to keep and which ones I would delete and replace with something better.

    Well when I came upon a gaiter in the middle of a field somewhere East of Walla Walla. I deleted that ornery old cuss of a farmer and replaced him with one of a gaiter.

    I know. I know. You’re saying there ain’t no gaiters in WA.

    Well there was one and I got a picture to prove it. You’ll just have to wait for the next chapter for that one.

    Before I go, all you Oregonians be warned: Somewhere along the Columbia close to where that sunset photo was taken lives a gun toting old farmer that thinks you are all idiots! Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
    #4
  5. DAKEZ

    DAKEZ Long timer

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    While SmugMug is having a nap attack I will continue without it.

    So where was I?

    Oh ya. After leaving that farmer and with the sun heading off to the late evening beach walkers… me and old OG found ourselves playing dodge the deer.

    I sez to OG “we had better find ourselves a place to hold up for he night or we aren’t even going to make it to Idaho."

    Well we were riding along and I see a sign for Walla Walla. While I’m searching my mind of where I heard of Walla Walla the sky it starts getting lighter and lighter. I’m thinking hell the sun can’t be coming up already it’s only been a half hour. I keep riding and it keeps getting lighter… then I remember.

    Walla Walla is famous for two things. Besides having good ground for growing spuds they also have a big fancy penitentiary where they house the folks that can’t seem to get by without either hurting others or stealing from them.

    Well apparently to keep them folks from walking away a big fence just isn’t good enough so they light it all up like day time so they can keep an eye on them.

    So OG and I pull into Walla Walla.

    It was dark so there weren’t many out and about but I couldn’t shake the feeling that I had taken a wrong turn somewhere and ended up in Mexico.

    Everyone I saw was Spanic or whatever the PC term is for them. I figured they all must be here legal or they’d be in that lighted area up the road a piece.

    Then I saw it The BUDGET INN. Well I kind of liked the sound of that so we pull on in. I go in the office and the nice fella behind the counter greeted me with a big smile and said “Welcome to the budget Inn”

    Well this fellow he was nice as could be but he wasn’t a Mexican. He was speaking English but the accent was wrong. No matter, I tell him I would like the cheapest room he’s got.

    Well then he started talking again but I couldn’t catch half of what he said. I did pick up on the “No problem Sir” and something about the rooms being nice and then I thought I heard $59.00.

    Well I liked that he was all polite and called me “sir” but I didn’t care much for the part about $59.00

    The sign said it was a budget place. So I sez to him: “$59.00? You got anything cheaper? I just need it until sunup maybe have a shower” Then he started talking again. I didn’t catch all of it, something about showtime and a king bed.

    He was very nice so I asked him: “How about half price and I’ll just sack out in the alcove over there next to the Ice machine and have a dip in the pool in the morning.”

    I’m not sure what it was he said but I got the just of it. It was something about AAA and It was $59.00 or nothing.

    I don’t know why but if you’re a card carrying member of Alcoholics Anonymous of America you get a better deal on a room.

    I give him the money and he hands me his credit card. Now this fella’s not only talking funny but he’s making me a little confused.

    So I ask him: “Why you giving me your credit card?” He sez: “it’s to open the door”

    I’m thinking for $59.00 I should at least get a key and not have to break into my own room. But since I didn’t understand him very well there was no point in arguing with him, besides he’d probably want more money for a room with a key.

    I thank him and go out and get on OG and we pull around the back.

    There was a nice lighted parking lot for OG and this part of the Inn looked brand new.

    I walk up to the door and you know what? I didn’t have to stuff that guys credit card in the door jam, no sir, there was a slot for it right above the handle. So I stick the card in there and on comes a little green light.

    When that light came on it opened right up.

    I open the door and
    woooooeee. There was a bed in there so big it didn’t matter if you laid long ways or side ways and the TV was big as a projector screen.

    I start to think Budget must mean something different wherever that funny talking fella was from. He must be one of them oil sheiks or something from Saudi Arabia.

    I go out and get all my stuff off OG and then take a long HOT shower. Then I start to feel all shaky and realized that in my haste to go on this little adventure that I failed to eat anything all day except for the Apple the squirrel talked me out of.

    I step outside and there was guy standing there smoking a cigarette.

    I Inquire as to where I can get some food, and he tells me of a Mexican place around the corner then he adds: “But ya better hurry it’s getting late.” Well I’m in no shape for running, my blood sugar is so low I can barely stand.

    I mosey on over to this place he tells me about and as I‘m walking up I notice that the open light is not on. But I see people inside so I go on in and was promptly greeted with a “Sorry we’re closed”

    I ask where I could find a place to eat and just then this other guy sez: “Sorry senior every place is closed” But then he adds: “What would you like? We can fix you something, come in, come in, sit here at this booth.”

    I told him I did not care what I ate just as long as it was food. Now this one, he must have been the boss. He was a Mexican fella and a real nice guy.

    He sat me down then brought me chips and salsa and a beer and not to long after that this other guy comes walking up with a platter big enough for a turkey and sets it down in front of me. WOOOOEEE I HIT THE JACK POT!!!

    This platter was covered with rice and beans and all kinds of other Mexican stuff. Well I attacked that mound of sweet smelling goodness with the vigor of a starving puppy.

    A little while later that guy that had set it before me comes back. This time he has a funny look on his face. It was a cross between confusion and amazement.

    I sit back and as I patted my now happy and protruding belly I mustered up my best Mexican and sez: “Mucho Gracias, Moue Buenos”

    He’s just stood there not sure if he should believe what it was his eyes were seeing.

    The chips were gone, the beer was gone and I had used my last tortilla and wiped that platter so clean they could have used it again without washing it.

    So I ask him how much I owed him and he tells me $10. If I’m lying, I’m dying, I shit you not. Chips, beer and that mountain of food all for $10.

    I feel like I should give this place a little plug. As far as Mexican food goes well it’s been a little “Americanized” But any place that will feed a starving adventurer after they close is alright in my book.

    If you ever find yourself in Walla Walla, you could do worse than to find “El Sombreros”

    It’s right on the main drag and has one of those funny looking Mexican hats on the sign.









    El Sombreros!!!










    Now I feel I should add a disclaimer: I never did see a menu. For all I know the food they gave me was stuff they were fixing to throw away.

    If you go there during business hours and your food comes out on a “normal sized” plate… don’t come sniveling to me about it.
    Maybe you should just wait outside until they turn off the open sign then walk in with a look of desperation on your face.
    #5
  6. Southest US Thumper

    Southest US Thumper Extreme n00b Supporter

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    This is reading pretty good! You probably should have tried the Credit Card at the ATM before the door though...


    Signed: Patiently waiting for the images.
    #6
  7. SteveRed

    SteveRed Adventure Moto

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    Great reading DAKEZ but I figure you are meaning to post some pics as you refer to them. However I can't see anything other than your fine dialogue on my screen.
    #7
  8. DAKEZ

    DAKEZ Long timer

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    Well as hard as it was to get up off of that splendid king bed in the morning. I knew I had a long way to go and only a couple days in which to bring this little adventure of mine to a conclusion.

    In other words: I had to get to gettin’

    I got OG all ready to go and we hit the road.

    It was another incredible day. The morning air was cool and the anticipation of the ride and roads to come… well lets just say I don’t think getting sprayed by a skunk could have wiped the smile off my face.

    There was a lot to see.

    [​IMG]

    For the Great Road Signs thread:
    [​IMG]
    For MortimerSickle and the Post Office Tread:
    [​IMG]

    An Eagle wearing a helmet? OG was confused.
    [​IMG]

    Gypsyrr posted some great old car photos is her report (only she is a much better photographer than I ever hope to be) so I thought I would give it a go.
    [​IMG]
    When I took this next one an old guy came up and asked if I wanted to buy it off him.
    [​IMG]
    He joked that I could open up a Mobile Spa 'cause it came complete with a tub and workout equipment:
    [​IMG]
    Then I spied this old Nash Ambassador 50?/51?
    [​IMG]
    After I took the photos this bearded guy walk up and said: "I'm gonna take that thing apart and bring it back to life good as new." I don't know a lot about Nashs' but he said this is one of the VERY rare ones. A Nash Super I think he called it. I would sure like to see it when he's done.
    [​IMG]

    So OG and I were cruising along and out of the corner of my eye I see this gaiter. This is when I deleted that mean old fart of a farmer.
    [​IMG]
    He just looks outa place in a hay field.

    Now I know at some point soon I should be coming to the Snake river but before I get to see it I had a short break at a rest stop and took a photo of this sign. It tells all about how they stopped here all sick and hungry on the way back East in May of 1806. Now remember that date. It comes up again later.
    [​IMG]

    The mighty Snake River
    [​IMG]
    When I stopped for this photo there was a breeze coming out of the East and I could smell that old familiar scent of the Rockies. I don't know how to put it into words. If you've never been to the Rockies do yourself a favor and take a trip. When you get there, close your eyes and inhale deeply. You will taste the goodness of them mountains and never forget it. Heck, I wasn't even to 'em yet BUT I COULD SMELL 'EM AND TASTE 'EM

    More on that to come.
    #8
  9. DAKEZ

    DAKEZ Long timer

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    So OG is begining to figure out just where it is we are headed and starts getting all excited. We rode on through Lewiston and headed for Montana.

    Then we see this.
    [​IMG]
    When OG caught a glimps of this sign he had a break down.

    No he didn't break down he just had one.

    You see this is Old OG's favorite road. We had been on it before one time going West and when we were done OG wanted to turn around and do it again. I had to fight to keep him going West on that trip. He whined all the way back to Seattle.

    I gave OG a few minutes to gather himself together, took this photo and we were off.

    I could only get him to stop one time for a photo as he was on auto pilot.
    [​IMG]

    Then it was my turn for a break down when I got here.
    [​IMG]

    It had been 4-1/2 years.

    [​IMG]

    My automatic pilot took me up Graves Creek road to the Lumberjack Saloon
    [​IMG]

    I had me a Jack burger. I was back in Montana and life was good.
    #9
  10. DAKEZ

    DAKEZ Long timer

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    So it is Friday afternoon sometime when we roll into Missoula. I go directly to BIG SKY BMW Kirk is there doing the final paperwork for his GS. Here he is ready to ride. Proud Pappa ready for Deadhorse:rofl
    [​IMG]

    I had only a day and a half till I had to leave and go back to Portland It was all very hectic.

    Saturday morning we head down the Bitterroot Valley [​IMG]
    so Kirk could get some saddle time on his new ride before I took it from him.

    The Mountains were the Happiest I have seen them this late in the year. The rivers and creeks all flowed at May levels and it was almost mid July
    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    We stopped at my cousins place but they weren’t home. So we took some photos before we left. Lee collects old tractor seats.
    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]
    And has a Big old barn.
    [​IMG]

    Then we head farther up the Valley and stop off at my other cousins house.
    This is me and my cousin Darrel.
    [​IMG]

    He likes to fix up old tractors.
    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    TIME TO GO AND FIND SOME E.I.M.



    #10
  11. DAKEZ

    DAKEZ Long timer

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    So after the quick morning ride up the Bitterroot Valley it was back to Mizzoola to find and buy my E.I.M.

    Now you are no doubt wondering what the heck is E.I.M. Well let me first show you how to find it and what it looks like then I will give you as good a desciption as I can muster.

    This is Butterfly Herbs. Can you believe that building used to be painted white.:puke2 I restored it back to Brick in '82'
    [​IMG]

    And this is what I was after.
    [​IMG]

    Whats that you say? OK a little closer:
    [​IMG]

    Still can't make it out?
    [​IMG]
    Evening In Missoula:

    It is a magical blend of natural wonder that you make into a hot beverage so incredible it is life altering and it can only be had from Butterfly Herb

    That folks is E.I.M.
    My Quest is over:clap


    Now what am I missing?
    #11
  12. DAKEZ

    DAKEZ Long timer

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    I remembered something else I wanted to do while here in the Five Valleys.

    [​IMG]

    Big Sky Brewing co. The makers of some fine beer. Now myself, I prefer a good light logger (they are less sticky) BUT there is something to be said for a good ale and these guys know their stuff.

    Things Like:
    [​IMG]And:
    <TABLE cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=0 width=760 border=0><TBODY><TR><TD width=717><TABLE cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=0 width=709 border=0><TBODY><TR><TD class=copy><TABLE cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=0 width=705 border=0><TBODY><TR><TD vAlign=bottom width=220>[​IMG]</TD><TD></TD><TD vAlign=bottom width=220></TD><TD></TD><TD vAlign=bottom width=220></TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE></TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE><SCRIPT src="http://www.google-analytics.com/urchin.js" type=text/javascript></SCRIPT><SCRIPT type=text/javascript>_uacct = "UA-2691247-1";urchinTracker();</SCRIPT><!-- InstanceEndEditable --></TD><TD vAlign=top width=25>[​IMG]</TD></TR><TR><TD colSpan=3 height=18></TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>

    But my personal favorite is:

    [​IMG]
    MOOSE DROOL IN MY POCKET

    A beer called Moose Drool:huh ??? The name sounds a little iffy, but it's really the best Brown Ale you'll ever taste. It's chocolate brown in color with a creamy texture. In fact Moose Drool is brewed with chocolate. Sounds a little funny I know, If ya, ever get a chance just try one then decide...


    When I stepped out of the door at Big Sky I hear: TESTING, TESTING, CHECK&#8230;.

    I know that voice!

    That is Gordy Robertson and it was coming from across the field at the Giant new HD store. So I go over to investigate.

    Sure enough I find Gordy, Mike and Neil. (old friends) They have a band called ZooCity (yet another play on the name nemissoulatakoo)
    and they were playing at the Harley store for HOT HARLEY NIGHTS.

    [​IMG]
    It is an annual party thrown by the dealership.

    This year it was aptly named because It was hot. :knary HOT HOT HOT.
    It was alright to ride in but to stand around was very uncomfortable.

    But there were a few gals there washing motorcycles willing to help me with my discomfort.
    [​IMG]
    I had them spray me down with their hose 4 or 5 times and all was well.
    [​IMG]
    I do not know where they came from as I am told that Missoula does not even have a Hooters.:dunno

    That one there with the dark hair. She was real frendly.:wink: But after talking to her a bit and discovering that I used to party with her Mom...well when I told her that she got a funny look on her face. I guess she decided I was too old for her.:rofl

    Now I know some of you blokes would have kept your mouth shut but me I have a rule. It they ain't at least 30 years old, well I'm not interested. Heck my Step-daughter is older than this one was. Just doesn't seem right.

    But I have no problem let'n 'em hose me down on a HOT day.:D
    #12
  13. GB

    GB . Administrator Super Moderator Super Supporter

    Joined:
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    :thumb

    :lurk
    #13
  14. DAKEZ

    DAKEZ Long timer

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    It's Sunday morning and I have to get back to Portland to start my new job in the morning.

    So I get on Kirk's GS and hit the road.

    I do not know the name of the GS yet because so far he/she hasn't talked to me. I'm hoping it ain't one of those mute bikes. I HATE MUTE BIKES. there are boring.

    Due to time constraints I am forced to Slab it back and I head West on I-90.
    Before long I realize that I had failed to put in my ear plugs and stopped to put them in.

    Here is where I stopped.
    [​IMG]
    It is in Frenchtown.

    Well seeing that place got me to thinking. Kirk was not due back in Portland for a week and a half. So If I were to accidentally take a wrong turn somewhere along the way… A new job would be good but I had not been to Alaska in years... Would Kirk notice a few thousand extra miles?:evil

    So back on the road.

    This is The Guardian of the Alberton Gorge.
    [​IMG]
    He is some type of Mountain Troll that was frozen in place by the Snow Queen... (or so legend has it)
    The photo was taken by my friend Ray Merseal I posted it because I was thinking about him as I rode on by.


    Just West of Fish Creek.
    [​IMG]


    #14
  15. DAKEZ

    DAKEZ Long timer

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    READ THIS.

    I am confident that you will be glad you did.

    When I started this RR I knew it was going be lacking a little substance as it was a quick trip but I promised to entertain.

    While I was in Montana I ran into a lot of old friends that reminded me of some things that happened back in the day.

    So in keeping with my promise I am now going to share with you a real life story, I know it&#8217;s real because it happened to me. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed living it.

    A little background:

    This is the Mineral County Courthouse in Superior, MT.
    [​IMG]

    I don&#8217;t know why they named the town Superior as there does not appear to be anything superior about Superior.

    It is my understanding that the alcoholism rate is about 3 times the national average for Mineral county and there are an abundance of old logging roads in the area that make for some mighty fine Dual Sport Adventurin&#8216;&#8230; I guess that&#8217;s something.

    I stopped off on my way back to take this picture and get some water.

    While I was there I made a few inquiries to see if I could find someone who might know the name of the Judge that I had the pleasure of doing business with years ago.

    To my surprise not only did I find out his name but I finally got to meet the person behind &#8220;the voice from the other room.&#8221;

    She&#8217;s a little old lady now and we had a good laugh reminiscing about this:

    The story you are about to read takes place in 1982

    Back when Nixon was president (the last time we had a gas crisis) he thought it would be a good idea to make a nation wide speed limit of 55 miles an hour. Well Montana did not like this much&#8230; the way they saw things, it already took all damn day to drive across the State and if you could only go 55 it would take a day and a half.

    Well the powers that be back in Washington said if you don&#8217;t play along we are going to pull all your highway funding. $$$$$

    Now Montanan&#8217;s may be slow but they aren&#8217;t stupid. The Interstate was not finished yet and they were not about to lose all that money. So they decided to play along and put up the 55mph signs.

    Then they went and passed this great little law. Called it the Basic Rule it said everyone had to drive in a safe and prudent manner

    As for the speed, well they just kind of looked the other way for the most part. Oh sure you could get pulled over but it was mainly to check for license, registration and insurance.
    Then they would give you a ticket for failing to conserve fuel.

    The fine was $5 and it did not go on your driving record. You just simply handed the nice Highway Patrol Officer five dollars he gave you the ticket as a receipt and all was good.

    Now if you were dumb and wound up your Pinto or any number of other non-worthy cars over 80mph&#8230; well they didn&#8217;t think that was Prudent and would write you up for breaking THE BASIC RULE

    It didn&#8217;t always work out this way. Here is a story of one of those times.

    July 1982.


    I got a ticket. I felt cheated. It was for failure to drive in a safe and prudent manner. A $150.00 fine!!!

    What&#8217;s up with that? I wasn&#8217;t driving no Pinto. So I decided to fight it. I called the number on the ticket and set a time to meet with the Judge.

    I had always had good luck in the past so why should this time be any different?

    (note: the miss spelled words in the dialog with the Judge are not typos they are there so you can put yourself in my shoes)

    It was a beautiful July day. I stopped by my friends house to see if she might want to go for a ride with me to handle this whole basic rule crap.

    Her name is Deana Bell and she had proved to bring me luck in the past (that&#8217;s another story) anyway It was a nice day for a drive and she said: &#8220;Why not&#8230;,Can we take the long way?&#8220;
    I look at my watch and said: &#8220;Sure, let&#8217;s go&#8221;

    So we head North on 93 and peel off on hwy 200 through Paradise and Dixon to 135 and down to St.Regis then I-90 back to Superior.

    We made it with 10 minutes to spare. All was good. We parked and walked across the street to the grocer to get a beverage.

    Just as I walk in the door some old guy slips on the wet floor and is about to do a header so I just react. I reached out and grabbed onto his arm to keep him from what would have been a nasty fall. Well someone had just mopped the floor so when I grabbed him I too lost my footing and went down hard on one knee.:doh

    While I managed to break this old guys fall, I also managed to tear the arm off his coat. He thanked me grabbed his hat and walked out.

    Deana and I get our drinks and I limped back across the street with her to the Courthouse. My knee is just killing me but sill we were laughing at my valiant yet clumsy attempt of saving the old man and the look on his face when he pulled the severed sleeve from his coat up as he left the store.

    So, once we&#8217;re in the courthouse I check in with the clerk then Deana & I have a seat on a bench in the hall. We sit and wait and wait and wait&#8230; My court time had long since passed so I go and check with the clerk to see what is behind the delay.

    Well about that time in walks the old man wearing a different jacket. He says: &#8220;You again, keep away from me we buried my tailor last month an I don&#8217;t have another coat&#8221; then he walked through a door.

    Deana and I got a chuckle from that. Why he was wearing a coat in July I don&#8217;t know. The clerk just looks at us wondering what was so funny and about a minute later tells us: &#8220;You can go in now&#8221;

    So we open the big heavy door and walk into an empty courtroom. It was beautiful, filled with real heavy hardwood furniture. It looked like something out of a movie. I said: this is nice, I guess we wait some more&#8221; It was a huge echo chamber. Deana said: &#8220;Knowing your luck that old man is going to be the Judge, good thing his arm didn&#8217;t come off. &#8221; We start to laugh again and sat down then this voice from the other room says:

    &#8220;All rise for the honorable Russell Scott&#8221;

    So we stand up and in walks that old man.

    But this time he has on a long Black robe. I&#8217;m thinking: I sure hope that wasn&#8217;t his favorite coat.
    [​IMG]
    (I am not absolutely certain that this is a photo of Judge Scott or not I think it is&#8230; and it will do)

    Judge: &#8220;It&#8217;s you huh, know any tailors? So what&#8217;r ya here for?&#8221;

    I reach in my pocket and pull out my ticket. Deana puts her hand over her mouth in an attempt to hide her uncontrollable chuckling.

    Judge: Come on, come on, bring it on up here don&#8217;t be timid now jus cause ya tore ma coat don&#8217;t mean I&#8217;ma gonna bite cha. An you, the pretty one, you go ahead n have a seat. So whata we have here?&#8221; Oh a failure to drive in a prudent manner, Step back, step back, that&#8217;ll be a hundred fifty dolas. So ya here to pay me are ya?

    Me: Well sir, I was hoping to get it dismissed or at least reduced.

    Judge: oh ya was a hopin were ya. Lets see here ol&#8217; Odelin got ya did he? I&#8217;ve known Odelin for years and if he says you weren&#8217;t safe and prudn&#8217;t I&#8217;m a incine at believ&#8217;im. Noticing a little gimp in your gettup. Hows your knee&#8230; ya need to sit down? Well ya don&#8217;t getta you just stand there this won&#8217;t take long.&#8221;

    At this point I&#8217;m thinking oh shit this is not going well, I am 6&#8217;4&#8221; and this old Judge is a little wisp of a man about 5&#8217;4&#8221; sitting up there behind the bench with his growly Midwest country drawl. His eyes where bright and he had a matter of fact way about him.

    Judge: So why&#8217;d Odelin write cha up were ya driving all crazy or sump&#8217;n?

    Me: No sir.

    Judge: So why&#8217;d ya get a ticket then? whad ya do wrong? Tell me what happened.

    Me: Well I drove from Missoula to Spokane to pick up my friend.

    Judge: Did ja have this pretty lil&#8217; filly with ya?

    Me: No sir.

    Judge: No huh. Auright, &#8217;n then what happened?

    Me: Well, as I was saying I picked up my friend Gary, He had flown down from Elmendorf Air Force Base in Alaska for a little visit while on leave from his duties.

    Judge: Air Force huh&#8230; fly down on leave to see his momma?

    Me: Yes sir.


    Judge: That&#8217;s good, that&#8217;s good &#8216;n then what happened?

    Me: We were cruising along, top down enjoying the day.

    Judge: Top down eh&#8230; what was ya driving?

    Me: A Triumph TR6

    Judge: One of them little British cars eh They don&#8217;t make em any more ya know. Then what happened?

    Me: Well sir, when we got through all the construction I was happy to be back on the finished section of I-90 so I picked up the pace a little.

    Judge: ya did did ja. So it&#8217;s a nice day an you were goin&#8217; over a 100 huh, so then what happened? Why&#8217;d Odelin pull ya over?

    Me: Now wait a minute. I wasn&#8217;t going over a 100.

    Judge: Ahuh, Ahuh, So then what happened?

    Me: I&#8217;m coming up behind a Trans Am so I moved to the left lane and went on by.

    Judge: Trans Am eh? and then?


    Me: Well the guy in the Trans-Am didn&#8217;t take this well. Being well clear of him I pull back to the right lane.

    Judge: He didn&#8217;t like gett&#8217;n passed by a little sports car huh&#8230;Whata ya mean he didn&#8217;t take it well, did ya know this fella?

    Me: No sir, I knew he didn&#8217;t take it well because when I did a quick mirror check I saw that he was coming and coming fast.

    Judge: So ya did what any self respecting testosterone packing young man should do and ya shifted down and put it to the floor didn&#8217;t ya.

    Well I didn&#8217;t respond to this. I just stood there thinking &#8220;damn, now how the hell did he know that?&#8221;

    Judge: Come on, come on I ain&#8217;t got all day&#8230;then what happened?

    Me: Well sir, about this time A Highway Patrolman comes over the hill in the Westbound lane. So I let off the gas.

    Judge: So ya knew you were goin&#8217; a little too fast did ya? Then what happened?

    Me: Well sir, before long here comes the Patrol officer lights a flashing sirens howling&#8230; so I signal and start pulling to the right thinking he was after me. Well that Patrolman just blew on past me going real fast.

    Judge: Went on past? Howd ya get a ticket then?

    Me: Well Sir, a little farther up the road I see another Patrolman coming lights a flashing.

    Judge: Another one got ya huh?

    Me: Well sir, I think it was the same one, &#8216;cause he was real mad. I don&#8217;t think he was able to catch the Trans Am. He said he had me on radar going 102 then the Tans Am passing me at 121.

    Judge: Can you do me a favor and quit calling me sir? Your making me feel oooooold.

    Me: Yes sir, sorry sir.

    I&#8217;m thinking &#8220;oops&#8221; The Judge leans forward and cocks his head and gives me a one eyed stare. kind of like Jack Elum from the Movies. OH NO I BLEW IT!!!

    Judge: What&#8217;s your daddy&#8217;s name?

    Me: Glenn sir

    Judge: Glenn huh. Did he take ya hunting?

    Me: Yes sir.

    Judge: Fishing?

    Me: Yes

    Judge: That&#8217;s gooood He did a good job then and he taught ya to respect your elders so well ya can&#8217;t stop even when a Judge tells ya not to! Now tell me about this Trans Am, was it one of those ones with the Big bird on the bonnet like that Burt Reynolds fella drove in the movie?

    Me: Yes sir.

    Judge: Ahuh. Well son as you can see I&#8217;m no spring chicken&#8230; I&#8217;ve been doing this a long time and this is one o&#8217; the best stories I&#8217;ve heard. Problem is I DON&#8217;T BELIEVE A WORD OF IT!!! I&#8217;M INCLINED TO BELIEVE YOU WERE DOING OVER A 100.

    This took all the wind out of my sails and just when I&#8217;m thinking I&#8217;m doomed a voice calls out from the other room.

    The Voice: &#8220;JUDGE SCOTT YOU BE NICE, YOU KNOW DARN GOOD AND WELL THAT&#8217;S THE SAME TRANS AM YOU THREATENED TO IMPOUND LAST WEEK.&#8221;

    Now the Judge well he get&#8217;s this look on his face kinda like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar and he knew his fun was over. He looks back at Deana and asks: &#8220;Is this fella here your boyfriend?&#8221;

    Deana: No sir.

    Judge: Just your friend huh. Would you say you tend to get him into trouble or keep him out of it?

    Deana: I tend to keep him out of it sir.

    Judge: I knew it.

    Then he gives a nod towards the door and says: My friend in the next room there she&#8217;s good for that too.&#8221; Then he turns back to me and asks: Do ya have any money on ya?

    Me: Yes sir.

    Judge: Do ya have $5?

    Me: Yes sir

    Judge: Well give it to me&#8230; Do you know what the fine is in Montana for wasting fuel? Well it&#8217;s $5 so we&#8217;re gonna do away with this safe and prudent stuff and call it good. I don&#8217;t know if you&#8217;re a safe driver but you certainly are a courteous one keeping to the right and all. NOW, if I was to ask you to do something for me would you do it?

    Me: Yes sir.

    Judge: Do you know of an ornery old cuss of a judge back there in Missoula name of Wally?

    Me: Wally Clark? Yes I know Wally.

    Judge: Done business with him have ya.

    Me: Yes sir, a few times.

    Judge: Ahuh I thought you might of. Maybe I&#8217;m letting ya off to easy. How bout Old Wally...Did he ever tell you that he came West with Lewis and Clark n&#8217; liked it so much he just stayed?

    Me: Wally&#8217;s old but I don&#8217;t think he that old.

    Judge: WELL HE DID. A few times huh, Did he throw ya in Jail?

    Me: No sir.

    Judge: You mean to tell me you&#8217;ve been before Wally more than once and that old goat didn&#8217;t throw you in Jail!!!

    Me: No sir he let me off every time.

    Judge: Well he must like ya then so heres what I want ya to do for me. When you leave here I want you to go strait back to Missoula, don&#8217;t be speeding now Odelin is working today and I don&#8217;t want to see ya back here. You just get on back to Missoula and walk into Wally&#8217;s Court and tell him he&#8217;s a STUBORN IRISH BASTARD!!! Will you do that for me?

    Me: :eek1 In his court sir? &#8230; I don&#8217;t think tha

    Judge: Don&#8217;t you worry. If he throws ya in jail you just call me I&#8217;ll getcha out. You just tell him I sent ya.
    Me and Wally we have history. Went to school together. So you go on now and do as yer told.

    Here is a photo of Wally Clark taken in 1948
    [​IMG]

    He was old then so just imagine how he looked when I went into his court in 1982 and did as I was told&#8230; THAT&#8217;S ANOTHER STORY...






    #15
  16. jeff_in_rc

    jeff_in_rc A DRZ kind of guy

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    Man o man what a great story and I love the pics. The last line got me by surprise that's for sure so I have a question, are you going to share that story with us?? Huh are ya?? :wink:
    #16
  17. DAKEZ

    DAKEZ Long timer

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    I'm thinking I might. It was the battle of the judges. You should have seen the look on old Wally's face...:lol3
    #17
  18. jeff_in_rc

    jeff_in_rc A DRZ kind of guy

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    Do tell, do tell! :clap :clap
    #18
  19. MortimerSickle

    MortimerSickle Semi-Adventurer

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    #19
  20. MortimerSickle

    MortimerSickle Semi-Adventurer

    Joined:
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    Rainville, Orygun, where moss is a road hazard.
    Pininfarina at his worst.
    #20