Watching your significant other crash

Discussion in 'Face Plant' started by Ride2ADV, Sep 21, 2009.

  1. WoodsChick

    WoodsChick Long timer

    Joined:
    Jan 18, 2006
    Oddometer:
    1,790
    Location:
    Oakland, CA
    We celebrate 27 years of wedded bliss on Thursday! :raabia

    We’re still riding (and sometimes crashing) together. Can’t see that changing anytime soon!


    LuckyChick
    #41
    applicant_255, larryboy and jusbeach like this.
  2. Cogswell

    Cogswell Trying to live the new normal.

    Joined:
    Jan 3, 2005
    Oddometer:
    9,357
    Location:
    Riding with my pal Richard Cranium
    Interesting timing at finding this thread today. I had a friend call me this morning, he wanted me to help him deal with the trauma of having lost a friend he was riding with yesterday.

    I lost my s/o not quite two years ago on an extended ride/vacation out west in Utah. She was leading and I watched ride right off a cliff about 40 yards in front of me. From my initial angle behind her it looked like she just fell over after hitting a small rise. I said to myself i need to get up there and help her pick the bike up. As I rolled up the last couple of feet to where I last saw her I noticed there was no more earth. The opening of a great chasm was directly in front of me, I couldn't see it previously as the road was at a slight incline.

    The earth ends right where my helmet and front of the bike are, and the road goes off to the left.

    [​IMG]

    Her bike at bottom during time of retrieval a couple of weeks later.

    [​IMG]

    Being in the middle of nowhere like that and not being able to get down to help her, worried she may have passed because I couldn't help her was extremely difficult. You just feel so helpless and traumatized at watching the entire scene of events unfold right before your eyes.

    Emergency services were called by a family we had seen at a previous pull off spot for pictures. It took just about an hour for the sheriff to arrive, then another 20-30 minutes to harness up and rope down and give me the bad news.

    Have to take a break...
    #42
  3. Khantahr

    Khantahr Adventurer

    Joined:
    Apr 21, 2019
    Oddometer:
    71
    Location:
    Oregon
    Oh my God that is heartbreaking, I'm so sorry.
    #43
  4. antariusjp

    antariusjp Large Title Here

    Joined:
    Mar 22, 2015
    Oddometer:
    228
    Location:
    Bay Area, California
    That's terrible... I feel for you. I can't imagine....
    #44
  5. Cogswell

    Cogswell Trying to live the new normal.

    Joined:
    Jan 3, 2005
    Oddometer:
    9,357
    Location:
    Riding with my pal Richard Cranium
    It's been something I would have never conceived of happening let alone being a part of it. Every day is better, lots of support from family and great friends, many on ADV.

    After the reality of the situation is really taking hold, initial shock is starting to wane, important decisions have to be made. What am I going to do, how do I move forward ? What about retrieval of Annie and her gear/motorcycle. There were keys and personal effects I needed as the car and trailer were 2.5 hours away. The sheriff deputies were very helpful, they have to deal with these situations as part of their jobs. I gave them a list of things I needed and they brought them up on a rope for me.

    They asked if I was ok to ride the hour back into town, I really didn't have a choice to leave everything out there. They found me a room in town and let me put all the camping gear off my bike into their truck. They brought Annie's gear up after I left and we arranged for me to pick everything up the next day at headquarters after I had gone back to get the car and trailer. The last bit of business we discussed was notification of family, I told them I would take care of it when I got to the motel. Really difficult phone call to make.

    The deputies called me that evening as planned so I could go to the morgue after they brought her back, one last visit to say good bye, and what's in my heart.

    There is a process to dealing with trauma like this and it's not the same for everyone. Talking to people seemed to help process things the most for me. People that have loss like that can identify and relate their experience with you, it gives you a better understanding of how to process things. Don't bottle everything up or try to suppress the loss, it happened, it's a part of your life, find a place for it, and don't be afraid to visit that place from time to time.

    We all ride knowing this is a dangerous hobby, it's ever present in the back of our minds. Sometimes we get complacent and then have a little close call from lack of attention or whatever and it brings the danger into the forefront again. The great times far outweigh the bad, but it's hard to think about it at time like that.
    #45
  6. WYGSer

    WYGSer Ummm...

    Joined:
    Aug 13, 2008
    Oddometer:
    38
    Location:
    Bessemer Bend, Wyoming
    That is my worst fear. I can't even imagine.
    #46
  7. ukAdventurer

    ukAdventurer Adventurer

    Joined:
    Jul 9, 2007
    Oddometer:
    98
    Location:
    Ulaanbaatar, Mongolia
    My condolences. That’s unimaginable to me.
    #47