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Discussion in 'Face Plant' started by trc.rhubarb, Nov 22, 2016.
Thumpers or Oldskool I'd imagine.
Post a link when you do. I'd love to see it.
Not yet. I had an appointment to see the Endo but all was halted due to C19.
It was rescheduled for this week but again cancelled.
Here I think : https://advrider.com/f/forums/olds-cool.35/
Give me some time though .
@trc.rhubarb , to the ''how ya doing? '' phone. Hope your doing well man, see you around the basement.
Ahh, the basement. Where I can still hang here even if I don't ride
Working on adjusting to the new life, learning to cope with the new me and accept that I can't do all that I could before.
I carried the DRZ around in the back of my van for the entire first half of this year, hoping to go for a ride and it came out 2x.
Once for riding, I think mentioned above, in SoCal and once to go into the garage a few weeks ago.
No chance for mental care/cognitive rehabilitation as planned until C19 issues calm down. The "good" doctors said they anticipate a 5 year window for correction to take place and we're coming up quickly on 4 years. 4 years!!!! Everything changed on that day.
There is that new concussion thread started in inmates and I'm trying to leave it alone. They always get emotional and take a toll on my wellbeing... but it reminds me over and over how i have changed.
I was asked at work, just this morning, how i can remain so "zen" and calm about things when it's all going to hell and people are panicking around me. I used to be very "type A" and had a need to be in control of everything. Now, que sera, sera. "is anyone going to die or be hurt? are we going out of business?" no? Just some money lost? Can we control it? no? Then what do we get riled up for?
I like that part of the new me. I like the emotional part and the connection it allows me to have with my own child and friends.
My inability to focus kills me though... I've got the attention span of a gnat... it makes some tasks terribly difficult... like looking at the graphs in the retirement thread.
Memory is another tough one... It's claimed/diagnosed that there is nothing physiologically broken in my brain, but I can't seem to remember squat still. If i didn't write it down or take a picture, it didn't happen.
Lastly, and this one is a killer... i make a lot of poor decisions. Sometimes i feel like a 2 year old with "why did you do that?" "I don't know..."
Anyhow, all the above is so others reading won't feel alone if they have similar issues.
Life is good. Job is good even if i feel like I'm faking my way through it often.
If all goes well, my divorce will remain amicable and finished by the end of the year.
Daughter is happy and there is little drama in my life now.
It's not where I imagined being at this stage in my life, professionally, financially or relationship-wise, but all is good. Life threw me many curves and it's funny because what I shouldn't have survived, seemed easy to overcome and what should have been easy, I honestly felt there was no way I could get through it. But here I am, firmly on the other side of it all... very scathed and changed by the experience but still thriving.
And it's true, chicks do dig scars! Although not so much emotional ones, so we'll stick to the barbed wire ones
Oya, in another experiment of sorts, I've not had a drink since February after learning a friend of mine entered AA. I've been to some meetings with her and truly, no pun intended, they are sobering. I find it interesting how i can control some things so easily while other things are so challenging.
Stay safe everyone!
Great post @trc.rhubarb. Through my own experiences, as an outsider but through being a part of a BI support system, I can relate, nearly 100%. What you’re struggling with is common.. you’re not alone. And you’re right, life is alright!
Glad to hear it, and strangely, it comes through in your writing now. Glad things are moving along.
glad to hear you are still well, all things considered! the focus, memory, and bad decisions thing, some of us are like that even without injury...LOL i just had my wife txt me a grocery list that we talked about this morning because all i could remember off the 8 item list was dog food... i am sure i have made some sort of bad decisions that will make me wonder why i did what i did by the end of the day....LOL
as a side note on the AA thing... twelve step programs can be serious life changers..... i attend a Christ centered one called Celebrate Recovery for multiple things i struggle with, sexual addiction, depression, codependency, food addiction, anger issues, etc.... just the last 7 months that i have gone has changed me drastically, i haven't even really gotten into the full step study yet, that starts next month... but people have noticed a big difference in my day to day attitude already... i agree on how some things are easy to control, some of my friends cant even look at a beer without wanting to drink a 30 rack of it. i can have one, and go weeks, months etc without NEEDING one.... but put a box of oreos in front of me, its a different story....LOL i can, and have sat down to eat 2 oreos and before i know it, the whole family sized pack is completely gone...
Nobody's life is without struggle. Some just acknowledge said struggles..
Now I want a box of oreos.
and ice cream, and a coke, and a box of Hot Tamales. 'cause sugar dammit!
That's all great news, hope things keep on rolling along positively
This is a very late response but a Roadcrafter suit has a comfort factor of 1. If you go 1 mph for every degree of Fahrenheit the suit will be comfortable.
Good to hear you're still plugging along ! .
Because of my injuries and endless pain I simply ride a smaller bike now.....
Give it a try, any helmet time is good time by definition .
Right after the accident and buried somewhere in here, I bought a new (back then) R1200GSA.
These days, if I ride, it's the DRZ. The BMW is on loan so it gets it's legs stretched once in a while.
I find it much easier to ride from a physical standpoint but more importantly, a mental one. It has a speedo and a clock to look at... and some idiot lights.
The BMW has so much to see, so many interesting numbers and sensor readings. I found myself paying more attention to them than riding, so i stopped.
I've only ridden (gone for a ride) once this year so far though. I've done some test laps of the neighborhood while fixing other's bikes.
I keep hoping that soon i can get back on a bike.
Started late last night and pretty much read the whole thread from beginning to end.. Many life lessons and quite a lot of agony, ecstasy (maybe a bit less of that) and really spirit. Ride on, in whatever fashion that may be. It doesn't matter how many miles you ride; that's the old you. Maybe you're meant to get back to it full steam, maybe as an occasional casual rider, maybe hardly at all... Funny, I was reading about the new GSA shopping/options/purchase/tank-paint details and I thought to myself, this guy has been through something so HUGE, so life changing, potentially work & marriage ending and here he is distracting himself (which is where I would be).
Your career bounce-back is awesome. It's clear work, while important to you, is not your life; you keep it in perspective, but one cannot over stress how important finding meaningful and reasonably gainful employment has played in your recovery. That was a turnaround point for you. At least that's how it seems. I'm almost exactly the same age as you and it's not always easy from this point onward, or during COVID times, or during a recession or a sector-wide slowdown...
And while you may be suffering cognitive effects, your writing is quite strong. Keep us posted.
Thank you. Finding a new job, and so quickly... with the same(ish) responsibilities did do a lot for my personal confidence.
While I do struggle a lot in my role, and it never would have been acceptable in my last position, they don't seem to notice or at least care and I am doing well.
For a long while, I was very lost. I'm still pretty lost at time but the journey is becoming more of an adventure vs a horror movie
That's the spirit ! .
I've been riding and working on my 1984 Brazilian made Honda CB125S, I find the simplicity of the bike to be most rewarding but then I have always enjoyed the ride and melding with the machine, partly because I'm a Journeyman Mechanic and partly because it's good mental therapy for me ~ I've never owned nor wanted a Road Sofa (tm) Moto, I'm sure they're nice, comfy and safer but, I ride because it sets me free .
I just finished reading 'Death Or Coffee ?" ( https://advrider.com/death-or-coffe...utm_campaign=editorial&utm_content=09_09_2020 ) and think it's about right .
Sadly no comments or likes allowed .
I still have the mangled remains of the Ural Solo sT in my avatar, I should junk it but can't just yet .
It's way beyond repair .
Ride hard far and wide but always SAFELY .
I got in a small ride on the DRZ with a friend down in the canyon roads of SoCal in and around Malibu about 2 weeks ago. Only about 80 miles, with a stop in at The Rock Store for some coffee.
Man, I suck at riding now but it comes back fast. Braking late and too deep into the corners, no trust for the tires, blah blah.
I got cut from work again... 2 times in 2 years and never previously in my adult life... so a good run. Last time I was unemployed a couple weeks but I'd seen the writing on the wall and got an early start in looking. This time, it surprised me and there's nothing really going on for work right now. I'll continue to look for what i want for a little longer, then I'll go after anything i can get. At least I can live off the money I had earmarked for medical care but couldn't use due to C19... so no current financial stress... which is good.
Brain is still all over the map, emotions as well and focus... forget about it. I'm too young, with too many responsibilities to retire, but it does sound nice. If I'm lucky, maybe 5-8 more years.
Physically, no real improvements, so it's on me now to just suck it up and keep moving on despite the pain and limitations.
I've been spending 2 weeks at home and 2 weeks in SoCal for most of this year but holiday schedules have put a temporary moratorium on my visitation schedule down there, which doesn't help my mood.
So yeah, nothing much to report this time but as we're quickly closing in on 4 years... I want to remind everyone to be careful out there. People, at least in California are driving crazy with the open roads.
Guess I'm feeling a bit whiny lately. A common theme in this thread.