Who else lives with the Black Dog?

Discussion in 'Australia' started by FatBoyCrash, Jun 24, 2009.

  1. Canary

    Canary Long timer

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    Unfortunately excessive alcohol or abuse of drugs can be some peoples way of self medicating to cope with the Black Dog. Sadly it generally makes it worse not better :(
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  2. Andrew2

    Andrew2 Long timer

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    The dog loves a drink but wakes up cranky the next day. Best not to feed it.
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  3. stujamur

    stujamur keep rollin rollin rollin

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    Have a look at fodmaps diet
    I have had lots of gut issues and they coincide with bad anxiety
    I did fodmaps and now 100% no gluten or dairy and for the most part life is much better in terms of good guts and mental health
    If i stray from the diet its no good
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  4. stujamur

    stujamur keep rollin rollin rollin

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  5. Smitthy

    Smitthy Adventurer

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    The four blokes I know who took the final step over the edge all had one thing in common. Excessive Drinking.
    There was also a pattern where the drinking got heavier and harder (spirits).

    This was a real eye opener for me and now I keep an eye out for myself and my mates...even subtle moves rather than preaching to keep the boozing at bay...suggest a coffee rather than a beer or 10 at the pub.
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  6. JohnG.

    JohnG. Long timer

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    Stepdaughter on this journey and with cancer and crazy ex boyfriend for a bonus...
    So feel for her, all you can do is be there for them if they let you in which happens occasionally then they slide down again... :(
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  7. Canary

    Canary Long timer

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    Sorry to hear that John. :(
    It is tough to watch anybody struggle with the alcohol and drug abuse issues, but even worse when it is your child. It is like juggling hand grenades never sure if one is going to go off when dealing with them and their situation.

    One minute they want your help and love you, then off again with their "friends" who we know don't give a stuff about them. So sad and frustrating. :(:
  8. a2zworks

    a2zworks Trust me, I'm Pablo

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    Like the song says 'Some drink to remember, some drink to forget'
    I would change it though to say, most drink to remember, some drink to forget.
  9. hunter_greyghost

    hunter_greyghost XS650 Allroads Traveller

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    I walked away from playing that game with my son - ice addiction, for last twenty years, periods of prison and counselling don't seem to work,
    @ 36yrs he should be able to be responsible for his actions - sounds a tough attitude - but you have to think of your own wellbeing before anything else, if you have a First Aid Certificate - you'll know it's the first lesson taught !
    And before anyone calls me a bastard - take a walk in my boots - long hard travelling through a system that doesn't care about people,
    Positive vibes sent for those needing them - catch up soon I hope JohnG, give Jarka a big hug from Bev & I
    Cheers
    Baza
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  10. a2zworks

    a2zworks Trust me, I'm Pablo

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    I feel for you Baza and understand, shedding a few tears for you.
    One nephew had a long history of drinking and smoking heavily, it progressed to the hardest drugs over time.
    He was willing to give up when he was on the high, but when the low came no one and no thing could get in the way.
    He just took everyone’s energy away, we all tried to help, he asked for it.
    What a waste of life, really nice quiet young man.
    We lost him in 1999, 29 years old
    RIP Gabriel
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  11. hunter_greyghost

    hunter_greyghost XS650 Allroads Traveller

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    Seen a few over the years - hard when it's your own but you have do these things and make these decisions - hard road is all I'll say,
    I have sit down and update my timeline soon - things a-foot and probably legal and involve Psychiatry as well,
    must write a book one day about this episode in my life but no one would believe it - I have enough trouble with it !!!
    Stay safe, stay well
    Cheers
    Baza
  12. Canary

    Canary Long timer

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    Big hugs for Jarka.

    Sadly Gabriel is not in the minority.There is such an intense mix of emotions of grief and relief for the parents as they grieve for their child, but a kind of relief that they don't have to wonder if their child is safe or worry where they are anymore.

    Tragic.

    Don't judge you at all Baza as we need to do what we need to do to keep our own sanity. :nod
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  13. hunter_greyghost

    hunter_greyghost XS650 Allroads Traveller

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    That's where it all falls down - my sanity ran away - all your training doesn't help but once you settle and accept what has happened - then it gets interesting,
    the sixties were an interesting time - and now they are again - finding things to laugh at is good therapy
    while we talk - we are here and thankfully we all have friends on here who listen
    Cheers
    Baza
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  14. richo360

    richo360 Long timer

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    Baza, don't necessarily blame the system. I personally know of friends who work in that system, because they do care, they've dedicated their lives to caring . They are under resourced and under manned. And swamped with too many people in the wrong path and hellbent on self destruction.
    I have a client who like you has had to walk away from his middle son ( in his 30's). Repetitive drug issues, criminal record, court appearances, theft from his family to fund his habits.
    A hard road. Sometimes walking away is the only reasonable course you can take when you've given all you can.
  15. Sfcootz

    Sfcootz McRibbed for her pleasure Super Moderator Super Supporter

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    Wow.. sorry to hear about this huge change in your life but also glad you're telling cancer to kick rocks. I'll be saying some prayers for you.

    I had a friend who called such people energy vampires. It's so hard to cut a string when it's family but sometimes also 100% necesarry. Sorry about your nephew.
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  16. Canary

    Canary Long timer

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    Danny "Spud" Frawley
    08/09/1963 - 09/09/2019
    As a Saints fan this has really upset me. :cry I watched him play footy for years and cried when he retired. Spoke with him at Saints events and found that he was a really honest and warm person, who had time for everyone.

    All that aside, Spud has been a serious advocate for men's mental health. From what I have read Spud talked at length with many friends, including his long term mate of many years Michael Roberts and Jeff Kennett from Beyond Blue about his mental health struggles.

    Will miss you Spud for all that you were and gave to others while fighting your own battles.
    _______________________________________________________________________________________
    From 3AW report:

    Former St Kilda footballer, Richmond coach and media star Danny Frawley has died in a car crash in western Victoria.

    The car that Frawley was driving left the road and crashed at Millbrook, near Ballan, about 1.30pm on Monday.

    There were no other passengers in the vehicle. Police have told 3AW the crash is being treated as case of self-harm and the state’s road toll figure was revised down by one to 197 on Tuesday morning.

    Frawley, better known to many by his nickname ‘Spud’, was 56.
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  17. gateman

    gateman Long timer

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    Any of you guys fronting up to the current round of fires please take care.


    Oh I like a drink and Ive not been suicidal since I set a comfort zone...and learned to check my self back in the work place.
    I work now at a level I get paid for and not really a jot more. Kricky I evn just punch the clock and walk out the door a few minutes before time these days. Even and hour early sOOOOO how good am I?
    Nar not that good but I am giving myself space.
    Oh and I ordered a new tyre this week. Most years Ive riden 70K to 90K This year under 25k and worked out Im not grabbing my fun bits and thus missing the point.
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  18. richo360

    richo360 Long timer

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    Yes, I saw that.
    As a dad to 2 young women myself, I feel incredibly sad for his wife and family.
    What an absolute selfish bastard of a thing suicide is, what drives someone to the point where they wish to remove the pain from their lives and pass it directly onto those they leave behind.
    Thats a verbalised thought, please DONT think i'm pointing fingers or calling anyone out.
    Damn, so so sad.
    RIP Spud, much love and thoughts to those you leave behind.
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  19. a2zworks

    a2zworks Trust me, I'm Pablo

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    Someone described it to me in a different way once, think of the attack of the world trade centre, the need and urge of getting out of a difficult situation is so great that people were jumping from from 200, 300 + meters.
    Apparently the pain and desperation is so great, and also see the pain in their loved ones that they are causing that they just want to end it once and for all.

    I always struggled with anxiety and a bit of depression from childhood, the perfectionist in me made me fall into a dark hole every time I made the smallest of mistakes, coupled with an loved, abusive and tough upbringing. I also became very good at pretending to not be sad so as not to get a bashing.

    I began having life ending thoughts about 15 years ago, but couldn't find a way of just disappearing without affecting wife and 2 kids under ten, 7 brothers and sisters and their families, everyone around me and also the stranger that would eventually find me.
    A nephew ended his life at the age of 29 so I got to experience the deep pain that it causes.
    I am one of those that wears my heart on my sleeve, have a sensitive loving nature and have a very supportive wife that is a medical professional in the field.

    Now days all it takes is one 37.5mg Effexor pill per day, killed the black dog, cloud has lifted can see the trees through the forest.
    Life is beautiful :happay

    Never forget though and try and help when possible.
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  20. Reefdog

    Reefdog Long timer

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    Also have son (29) on any thing he can get, mdma, ice, gunja, booze and cigarettes, you name it..
    kept him out of jail, many times,
    The saddest times is when I see an old photo of him when he was growing up on the cattle stations I worked on and his beautiful smile and happy face...
    The thing that shits me is the fucking LIES
    I have walked away, fuck him, he was doing my head in, if I didn't, I would have put him in the ground himself by now.