Reading this thread from the start in one go as I just have is a lot to take in. There are so many posts that I want to take quotes from. I have not gone to see anyone to be diagnosed and find it very difficult to talk about this. But reading this has got me thinking. I did however find the following words of Bigdad interesting. For me there is no particular thing that seems to trigger it and I am continually searching for a reason why I feel the way I do. I keep telling myself I should be happy and that I have no reason to feel this way and after a while I seem to get better, but before long that dog has me by the leg again. This is the main reason I bought a bike again after not having had one for 4yrs, I was hoping that I might be able to outrun it, but lately I am thinking that I should have bought a much faster bike. When it takes hold I struggle to get out of bed in the morning, I want to quit my job,I can't concentrate, I avoid talking to family and friends and feel like I can't go on anymore. I am trying to keep it under control but some days I just don't feel like I want to be happy. Looking at what I have just written is making me think that maybe I need some help but I don't like doctors or pills. As for the idea of a ride to raise money/ awareness I think it is a great idea and would like to be involved if I can.