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Discussion in 'The Perfect Line and Other Riding Myths' started by cold_fire, Apr 13, 2009.
You people do realize that there is a whole thread in the basement for bad parking, right?
I did not intentionally damage the vehicle. I was in a hurry to get somewhere. I guess the offending parker was too!
No, it wasn't the bikes. That's just Holeshot. Smells like their prices on gear and accessories.
Well, yeah, that's true. What's your point?
I wasn't referring to you with that. Just I can think of things to do but I can't act on them. Sort of like the dog that constantly barks. I'd only think about strangling the owner not the dog.
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If someone parks too close I just swing their mirrors in . No damage but a way of telling them being a dickhead was noticed.
I must apologize. I came here to see some witty things that people ask when you all are stopped and I guess I somehow stumbled into the asshole parking thread ??? I feel so abused.
So what kind of oil is best?
Extra virgin olive oil. With good cheese and wine. Perhaps with some fleur de sel to dip the bread into with the oil. I'm hungry now.
I do the same but on the passenger side so they have to get out to fix it. Also, if it's hot out and I'm sweating it up, I wipe my forehead with my hand and smear the mirror with my funk.
I've had people put their doggie poop bags on my windshield. In my defense, I thought it was a parking space.
Back on topic.
While I was stopped art a red light,a Harley pulled up beside me. He was in full pirate regalia: ape hangers, shiny chrome, skull paint job; wearing a bandanna, fringed leather jacket with patches, torn and faded jeans, and cowboy boots?
He looked at my little dual sport and asked "How are those tires (knobbies)?"
I said "Bumpy."
He said "Bet they suck on the highway"
I said " Yep, probably as much as yours suck in the dirt"
He smiled and nodded.
The light changed. He took of fast treating me to the tune of his life saving pipes.
Was it this guy?
No! He was much scragglier!
I am scraggly. Come March 1 I am going for the bald look. Maybe sooner if it EVER gets warm.
I'd just collected my license, and bought my first ride (2002 BMW F650CS, with a lambswool seat cover - the guys I ride with kept asking my when my Ulysses membership was due...), when a friend rings me up asking if I want to meet them at a local spot for a coffee/breakfast/chat.
I think this is a wonderful chance to test out my new machine, so I throw on my gear (black mesh jacket/jeans/gloves/sunnies/braincase) and head on over.
I beat them there, so I order a coffee and sit on the edge of a garden bed to ponder the meaning of the universe and why I'm out of bed and outside at 8am on a Saturday morning. At this point my reverie is interupted by a young girl, who I shit you not could have been straight from central casting for "Wholesome little girl". She was all of... 6? Blonde, two pigtails, little sundress, buckle shoes, white socks, the works. Anyway - she walks up and stops in front of me and taps me on the knee.
"Excuse me. Are you a bikie?"
This percolates for a moment as the caffene is still taking hold, so my intelligent response was "...wha...?"
At this point, her mother teleports into existence and whisks the girl away at great speed, doing the 'mother whisper' you know the one - "you can't ask that, I've told you not to talk to people like that" and so on and so on.
This whole bloody excercise confuses me for a minute while I finish my coffee, then I realise what happened. I'm a reasonably sized dude (gnat's dick under 6'), with a beard and a ponytail, wearing beat up jeans, boots, a bike jacket and a pair of mirrored sunnies, leaning on a helmet. To a 6 year old I must look like something straight off the 6 o'clock news about bikie gangs.
Not a bike story, but similar.
Catching the train home one day - a kid about the same age as the girl above leans into his mum and goes, "Mum, why does that lady have a beard?"
"Shhh! You can't ask questions like that!"
I had a good laugh at that one.
What do you mean 'You people'?!?!
Those guys get trapped in a circular fashion around a block of mirrored glass buildings with their heads at constant right angles to their bodies.
You know what he means...
Always respond in memes when possible
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