What the hell? or 70+mph bike vs Barbed Wire Fence (updated with bike pics)

Discussion in 'Face Plant' started by trc.rhubarb, Nov 22, 2016.

  1. trc.rhubarb

    trc.rhubarb ZoomSplat!

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    It's like the gift that keeps on giving... this TBI thing. Wow!
    Loosing my mind
    Loosing my body
    Loosing my everything

    Tomorrow better damned well be a better day!
    Where do the predators come from that enjoy the mental torture they inflict?
    What happened in their life to make them enjoy it so?

    I'm torn, you all have taught me to openly share my weakness and be accepting of those that offer help...
    given me the tools with which to explain my issues and how to work with me in a positive manner
    yet some, some see the weakness and the scheming begins.
    It matters not the effect it will have on others lives, only that they gain enjoyment from the little games

    I can protect myself from these people, I can hide the limitations pretty well. At least in short bursts.
    But it takes its toll on me in other ways. At least I am in control of the pain, the frustration, the darkness.

    I'm such an easy target when I've shared the secrets of what not to do... it's not even sporting.
    How do they gain enjoyment from this? The world will get even with them eventually but that doesn't make it better now, for me.

    Some days, I don't want to continue. The predators, they can smell it... they circle, more like scavengers. Hyenas I guess.

    I can't let them win, can't let them have control...
    seems there are 2 options - a highly aggressive offense or take the satisfaction of defeat out of their grasp.
    I don't know if I have the energy for the offense but I need to find it. Maybe I'll find my brain too along the way.
  2. BecaBoo

    BecaBoo Long timer

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    You are stronger than you think. Down in that darkness, you are solid. A vulture is an ugly bird btw. Better to be an eagle. Rise above it. You got people here who have your back. :)
  3. HardWorkingDog

    HardWorkingDog Harvey Mushman

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    Just one step at a time, moving forward. Slow progress is progress. Don't let 'em defeat you is right.

    (Saw your recent post in the Concussion thread...can't say I'm surprised. The corporate world is a reflection of our own world, and compassion and caring is rare to find. Most people and most businesses are focused on trampling down their surroundings...)
  4. CowboyFatBob

    CowboyFatBob Been here awhile

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    I thought about you the other day.... was in a restaurant in eastern PA and ordered rhubarb pie for the first time in my 50+ years... can't say it will be my favorite.

    Have you thought about writing a book about your experience and the events after?

    Stay strong.
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  5. trc.rhubarb

    trc.rhubarb ZoomSplat!

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    Haha a book! Wouldn't that be funny... a roller coaster ride of into the psyche of a madman.

    Sometimes I go back and read parts of this, just to gauge where I am vs where I was. I've probably said that before but plenty of times, the only way I even know it was me is because my name is next to it.

    An interesting development in the pain has occurred. My new PT person (7th so far) poked and prodded a lot on our first visit last week, specifically around my lower back pain and he agreed with the previous guy (student intern) that it was coming from my front. He did some strange stuff digging in my stomach area under my ribs. Didn't really hurt at the time but felt like he was about to yell out Kali Ma! (temple of doom)

    Anyhow, that was Friday and my gut hurt pretty bad on Sat/Sun but I've had no lower back pain. Not sure if it's a fix or just temporary but it's been amazing. Still plenty of other pain but man, it's really nice to not have that debilitating back spasm stuff. I can actually stand up straight!

    Standing up straight... I went to change the air filter for the A/C upstairs and I couldn't reach it anymore. Wife had been doing it since I got hurt but since my back was ok, I thought I could handle it. I used to be able to reach it in bare feet, even in shoes I couldn't even touch the cover, let alone get the filter. It's a strange feeling!

    I see the PT guy again today and we'll see what other magic he can work.

    I've said before that I'll take all the pain for life if I can have my brain back... I still stand by that and will gladly take the back pain back in trade but it sure is nice to be without it.

    A huge thanks again to all of you that have helped me through this. I keep thinking about it and about writing you all but I don't know what to say other than "Thank you!!" I'm not sure I'd still be around if it weren't for so many of you. I am in awe every day at the generosity I see coming from the folks on this site; especially when I compare that to the predatory and/or apathetic nature of so many I considered friends who are happy to watch me flounder and even make efforts to exacerbate it.



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  6. BuckeyeDoug

    BuckeyeDoug Not a Pirate

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    Whenever I have a tooth ache, I hit my thumb with a hammer.......no more tooth ache. Body has shifted its focus....

    Stay strong. And 54+ years, still no rhubarb pie.
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  7. trc.rhubarb

    trc.rhubarb ZoomSplat!

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    Well that's what's odd... the pain is gone from my gut now. It was very tight around my rib cage. Interesting theory that front is clamping down causing back to be overexerted.
    I guess I'll find out soon enough if it's for real.

    I've never had the pie either. Somewhere way back in here I posted a video for a song that was stuck in my head, is stuck in my head, since around 1988...ugh!
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  8. CowboyFatBob

    CowboyFatBob Been here awhile

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    I know it may sound like voodoo, but go online (like you're not there right now...) and look up Ashley Black. Her ideas about fascia may sound hippy-ish, but I'm here to tell you that it really works. My wife (a fitness professional) and I have become believers in what her fascia blasting can do for mobility and pain. It won't work on the TBI, but you'll be physically better for it. Works best if you have someone who knows the human anatomy doing the blasting.
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  9. HardWorkingDog

    HardWorkingDog Harvey Mushman

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    My wife makes a great strawberry-rhubarb cobbler! You need to cut the tartness of the rhubarb with something sweet...

    Best pie has to be the strawberry-rhubarb double crust pie at the Gifford Homestead bakery just inside Capitol Reef NP, Torrey UT. (They don't actually bake anything there, it's made at a bakery back in Torrey, but it's the only place you can buy them. I've tried :lol3 )
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  10. trc.rhubarb

    trc.rhubarb ZoomSplat!

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    We've been doing that fun stuff for quite a while in PT and it does help... this is similar as well as they say scar tissue has adhered the fascia to other muscle groups and/or bone in places. Just that the work on my stomach is new for me and not something I've heard of before but it's really helped. If only you could massage the brainmeat!

    I'll have to remember that. I used to get into Utah about once a year, so when I'm back on the road again, I will be sure to stop by. Funny that they don't bake there.
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  11. -clinton-

    -clinton- Adventurer

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    Seek out a documentary called "I am". It done by the guy who directed Ace ventura pet detective. After he had a severe concussion and had to lock himself away for several months. It was on netflix, not sure if it still is. Changed the way I look at the world and it will give you some hope as well.
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  12. flei

    flei cycletherapist

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    https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/...njury-the-dark-side-personality-change-part-i
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  13. Padilen

    Padilen Long timer

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    What! The guy that's called rhubarb doesn't eat it?


    Sent from my XT1635-01 using Tapatalk
  14. SPX

    SPX Long timer

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  15. trc.rhubarb

    trc.rhubarb ZoomSplat!

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    Not on Netflix anymore but is available elsewhere. I'll find it. Thanks!
  16. trc.rhubarb

    trc.rhubarb ZoomSplat!

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    Always full of wisdom sir, thank you.
    That article reflects me in many ways although I went from being almost non-emotional to being a train wreck of emotions.
    What hit home... the parts about blowing up and forgetting about it, or blaming the target... it took me a long time to get through that but with help from you and others, I've mostly made it. Albeit, likely too late to fix the damage I've done.

    Never had the opportunity. We don't get much red celery out here and being diabetic, I choose my sugars carefully.

    Aha! Your google-fu is strong!
  17. Padilen

    Padilen Long timer

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  18. SPX

    SPX Long timer

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    If you have anymore tires for me, I’ll bring you a rhubarb pie.
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  19. trc.rhubarb

    trc.rhubarb ZoomSplat!

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    Today we tried Fascial Release with cupping...
    Other than huge 'hickeys' on my back, nothing negative to say.
    Too soon to tell positives I think but I go back Friday for another round of PT and we shall see.
    Just trying different tools to see what works and what doesn't.

    Got some more Kali ma! today but he was able to go much deeper and this time, rather than feel weird, it hurt. It seems to be helping in both some breathing issues I've had lately and the back pain.
    Fun stuff, this breaking of the body is.
  20. trc.rhubarb

    trc.rhubarb ZoomSplat!

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    I'm sorry you've suffered through this. :lol3
    It must have been a looong winter up there.